To think if there's a time for performance parenting this wasn't it?

[ilovesooty]

Earlier today. On a shuttle bus going from the airport terminal to the plane. We were crammed in to the extent our noses were almost in each others' armpits. A couple got on with a toddler in a buggy. He immediately wanted to get out so they let him. He used my legs to pull himself upright. His father picked him up. Then both parents began very loudly "Where are we going? On an Aeroplane! Who's taking us? The pilot! How many aeroplanes can you see? Aren't you clever to count to eleven? Now shall we sing the song about holidays you learned at nursery?"

And they did.

WiBU to hope they would shut up once on the plane?

Disclaimer - lighthearted - it only annoyed me for five minutes of my life.

I would have said a lot of what Sooty - and the rest of the bus - heard this couple saying to their child to my children when they were toddlers but just loud enough for them to hear -and definitely no singing! There is a duty to respect the comfort - and eardrums - of others when in a cramped, enclosed place where there is no escape!

I've done similar. It prevents my toddler from wanting to wriggle free. Does it matter?

Actually the mother sang the song from nursery with arm movements - her child didn't even join in!

I don't really understand this. I would have got DS (just turned 3) out of the buggy and chatted/played with him, to stop him from kicking off due to boredom/tiredness. I might not have sung songs but chatting about what you can see, counting things etc - that's normal , and surely just "talking to your child" rather than performance parenting? Are you just supposed to ignore your child in public and wait for the inevitable tantrum and people to start tutting? You can bet that if the parents had left him strapped in the pushchair whining while they ignored him and chatted to each other (or, horror, looked at their phones), people would be even more judgy. You can't actually win sometimes! I do know what you mean by performance parenting, but this doesn't sound like it to me.

Earphones, ipod, loud tunes. Works for me

I do not believe any posters are actually trying to justify the actions of these clearly wanky parents. Sooty- I hope you gave them your bestest death stare.

I have definitely done this, not to performance parent but because I am walking the extraordinarily fine line between quiet but volatile toddler and screaming meltdown. And while I have never put DD in charge of a blanket I have given her her very own bus ticket receipt or whatever other crap I can find in my handbag to distract her with. The illusion of control goes a long way with her. Did they sound slightly manic?! To me that's usually a sign of a parent who knows their kid is on the edge.

Light - hearted, it's light - hearted

Besides, I honestly think you need to see it yourself before you judge. Not that I'm judgey...at all, I never look at other parents, or think about others interacting with their children...

Also- if you MUST teach your kid things every single second of the day. Then for fuck's sake do it QUIETLY. No one else wants to hear it, or indeed gives a shit.

I suspect I can be a bit of a performer but it is generally A result of anxiety and wanting to be seen 'parenting'

Anyway. I see your airplane bus and raise you a funeral.

Oh no I didn't. It didn't go on long enough. I just found it mildly amusing how much they managed to cram into five minutes.

You definitely have to see it, and it's totally obvious whether it's proper PP or just parents chatting normally to their child as you do.

Doing it on a packed shuttle bus is unforgiveable really.

Worra
You missed out 'do we know the wanker song?'

I would have got a singalong going on the bus Tigger

My mother said
That I never should
Never play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
Their giggling talk I could never understood
And that's why I fell in love with my right hand

[Chorus:]
And that's why
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And does it good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker
I'm a wanker
And I'm always pulling my pudd

~ Ivor Biggun ~

I forgot "what are we on now? A bus!"

I had a dreadful temptation to burst into "The wheels on the bus go round and round"

Talking to the child etc is good. Looking round for a reaction whilst talking to child is performance parenting. Lighten up all you getting pissy because you do good parenting. It makes you seem like a different kind of nob.

I can't talk - I just welled up when 6 yo DSS wrote "Spectrum" in his homework (wtf is a 6 yo having homework for) because DP said so. And he spelt it correctly.

I am drunk. He has no idea what spectrum means.

Haha, we know that song all the way through. I'd behind you doing the visuals. I'd even wave my Davey Crocket hat!

'The twat on the bus goes 'look at me, look at me, look at me'.

I forgot "what are we on now?

You should have given an inquisitive look and said, "Drugs?"

Or "What are we on now?"

My last fucking nerve...

Worra

They said "where are we going?" and he said "bus" and they said "no, a plane. We're going on a plane"

"where are we going?"

"Out of our fucking minds"

I can just imagine this chorus from the rest of the passengers

"Out the fucking window if you don't shut up" would have been a good reply to that.

You lot are baaad.