Just finished a 12 hour shift last night and got home at 8.30pm. I'd just found out I'd had a huge pay increase at work (and had actually been paid) so to celebrate I got a bottle of wine for dp and I to share.
Now when I got in he's obviously in a mood but not letting on. He then says that his kids (18 and 20 year old men) were not coming for access visit this week. Now other times I might have commented that he shouldn't expect them to continue with regimented access EVERY weekend at their ages but to not rock the boat, I said nothing.
He then went on to say that his ex's elderly dad was in hospital and they (the ex and the kids) were going to the hospital but as he (dp) had got there late, they'd got a taxi.
The way he worded this made it sound like he had planned to give them a lift there. Not entirely unreasonable apart from the ex drives! so I simply said "why, were you giving them a lift or something?".
Well he went mental. Shouted "fucking hell!" At me, continuously shouted and swore at me, told me I was a fucking joke ... Anyway i told him I couldn't be arsed with all that tonight and left him to it and went to watch a film. Half hour later I went back in, all nicey nicey, went to hug him and said "come on, let's not argue. I've got a big pay packet this week and a bottle of wine, come in the living room with me". He replied "no! It's too late!! I'm far too angry with you, I'm fucking livid!!" We went on to say that he intended for us to argue all night (who really talks like that??) and would not make up, didn't give a shit about the money and that he works hard and I dont ??. At this point I'd had enough so told him I was sick of the way he flies off the handle at every little thing and drags stuff on all the time. I said I didn't want to be in a relationship where things were so volatile that a simple question blew up into world war 3.
He said "let's split up then".
First sensible thing he'd said all night. Now this "let's split up then" is another one of his argument favourites only I'm taking him up on it this time. I can't live like this.
But I'm curious. Did I really deserve that huge reaction to asking if he was giving his ex and adult kids a lift?
Even if I was in the wrong, did it REALLY need a huge blow up that was scheduled to last all night??