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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my friend's reason for cancelling is very rude

77 replies

Nothavingfunrightnow · 24/09/2015 14:00

We made plans about 6 weeks ago to get together this weekend. Friend called to say that her DH had invited friends over that night so she has to cancel our plans. Her DH's plans were made after ours. The invited friends are not traveling from abroad - they live locally.

Is it not rude of her to blow me out because her H has made other plans?

Then again, I suppose if she wanted to see me, should could have told him she had plans??

or AIBU?

OP posts:
VulcanWoman · 24/09/2015 15:51

I can't be arsed with 'friends' more trouble than they're worth, rather be on my own.

5hell · 24/09/2015 15:54

it is a bit rude, and she's not being very sympathetic/empathetic (sp?!), but if she's usually a good friend and you enjoy her company, then i'd give her another chance...we all occasionally make mistakes and dont think about how things come across (especially in the dreaded email/text). that said if you wont miss her and/or cant forgive her, then better to move on to new/better friends.

good luck Flowers

Original poster
Nothavingfunrightnow · 24/09/2015 15:54

Her H is really easy going man. It is unlikely to be him.

I am pretty easy going with friendships - there has to be give and take. But this one takes the biscuit!

OP posts:
SeasideSunshine · 24/09/2015 16:06

Okay, your call obviously. Everyone thought my ex was really easy going as well. He was not.

I guess you can always meet with her some time and talk to her about it. That'll give you an idea where to go from there.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 24/09/2015 16:08

Wow that really is very rude.

We had some friends who seemed to think this was totally acceptable though. They did it about 3 times in the space of a few months - they got in touch to suggest a date, we agreed and then a week or so before they cancelled as they were seeing other friends that day. We didn't confirm any more plans after that.

BastardGoDarkly · 24/09/2015 16:10

Should text back.... Useless? No. Shit friend? Yes...... Lolz

Fromparistoberlin73 · 24/09/2015 16:18

Oh OP, not what you need when having a breakup. sending Flowers

fuck of with her LOL

Original poster
Nothavingfunrightnow · 24/09/2015 16:19

SeasideSunshine, you have a point. I am sure I will see her around sometime.

Fromparistoberlin73, I am okay, thank you! Really fine! It would have been nice to have a moan about the split, though. I don't want to talk about it at work all the time. Never mind!

OP posts:
pictish · 24/09/2015 16:25

I would be tempted to text back with "LOL?"

shutupanddance · 24/09/2015 16:30

Yep rude. Glad you called her out on it.

2rebecca · 24/09/2015 16:34

Rude and not much of a friend. I'd rather stay at home on my own or go out by myself than be mucked about like that.

Zucker · 24/09/2015 16:38

Oh god the LOL. It just makes that sentence sound like an "I'm mad me....whatt am I like" Biscuit for her

Original poster
Nothavingfunrightnow · 24/09/2015 16:40

Yes, the lol ...

The fact that I am okay about my break up is neither here nor there. It was supposed to be an evening to cheer me up! Boo Hiss!!!

OP posts:
Starkswillriseagain · 24/09/2015 20:50

I would text her back 'You are being useless yes. I'm really disappointed your blowing me out when I need your support.' But then I'm imaging you've been blown out by her a bit and having had fair weathered friends like she is, I wouldn't pander to it and would call them out.

Doobigetta · 24/09/2015 20:55

I wouldn't be able to leave that there, I'd have to say something about a response that twatty. What a rude cow!

NameChange30 · 25/09/2015 12:00

"LOL"?! What a stupid cow. You're better off without her OP!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/09/2015 12:09

Very rude and I think it's just a poor excuse , tbh
It seems like she doesn't want to be rude to her dh's friends but yet it's been OK to be rude to you. It's horrible when you get let down, especially if you've been looking forward to a night out. You might have bought clothes and arranged baby sitters.

PressTheAButton · 25/09/2015 12:32

How about inviting yourself around to theirs while the DHs friends are there, getting really drunk and then crying all night. Wink That'll show 'em.

sherbetpips · 25/09/2015 12:36

We have friends like this, they get a better offer and cancel on us. We have even said to them about it and they don't get why its upsetting, I remember in once debate him saying 'its dinner not a wedding chill out'.

Some people are just like that, you can always stop inviting them.

BolshierAryaStark · 25/09/2015 12:39

I'd text back 'clearly you are unaware that at times a lol is completely inappropriate & extremely out of order, this is one of them.'
Rude fucker.

StealthPolarBear · 25/09/2015 12:49

Presumably you're not lol ING op?
I do wonder if her dh doesn't want her out with a newly single friend

quietbatperson · 25/09/2015 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Branleuse · 25/09/2015 14:11

stop replying to her texts

MissEeerie · 25/09/2015 14:14

The LOL would really piss me off.

Buddy80 · 26/09/2015 07:41

OP what happened in the end?