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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that an hour late is taking the piss?

99 replies

CloakAndJagger · 24/09/2015 11:57

So, how long would you wait to meet someone before you gave up?

Arranged to meet a friend at 11am. They're always a bit late, so I got here for 11 rather than earlier.

At 11:20 they text to say they were on their way. They live 10 mins from where we were meeting. It's now nearly 12 and they're not here yet. I only put 2 hours on the parking, so have about 50 mins before I gphave to get back to the car.

How long would you wait before giving in?
What's the longest you've waited for someone?

OP posts:
Neddyteddy · 24/09/2015 14:43

If family are meeting at 2, we will tell my brother 1. He was quite ashamed when it came to light we were doing this. He's much better now.

TheoriginalLEM · 24/09/2015 14:45

what were the excuses? id be well pissed

escorpion · 24/09/2015 14:46

It is funny to me Diddl because she is flaky and it is one of her quirks. I love her to bits and in every other way she is the perfect friend.

lorelei9 · 24/09/2015 14:49

Jessi - you say "unless they're Spanish"

my folks are from a country where the same might be said, but it drives them nuts that people think this. I'm with them - lateness is not connected to your country of origin.

dustarr73 · 24/09/2015 14:49

The funny thing is if you are late with the friend who is usually late they dont take kindly to it.

I was late meeting said friend before about an hour late,as i fell back asleep while feeding the baby.Well she didnt take to kindly to that until i pointed out the amount of times she was late without even the exscuse of kids.

Even the 1 time we where waiting to order the early bird menu and she was late so we ordered.She wasnt best pleased.

AnonymousBird · 24/09/2015 14:56

I think it is rude, however, I've seen threads like this before where the "always late brigade" come and actually try to argue that they are physiologically incapable of being on time, it's simply not possible for them to do it, so wonder where they all are today?!?!?

BIL and SIL were once two days late for something, and MIL was 5 hours late after phoning to say "on my way, there in five mins"... BIL and SIL also turned up after Christmas Dinner was on the table, and only then because we phoned them to come round as we were serving up despite knowing they were expected an hour or two earlier to do presents and stuff with the kids! Makes my blood boil that people can be so unaware of others, and that their time is worth more than mine!

diddl · 24/09/2015 15:06

I wonder if these people were ever on time for school, work, meetings, clubs...

lorelei9 · 24/09/2015 15:06

dustarr "The funny thing is if you are late with the friend who is usually late they dont take kindly to it."

This!! So much! One time I didn't actually plan to be late but got stuck on the Tube for 20 mins so couldnt call my friend. She chose that day to turn up on time - well she says she was on time - and told me I should have left earlier and "If you had been too early, you could just have looked round the shops". !! why that didn't apply to her I'll never know.

not friends with her any more - someone I met through work, not a major friendship. The "physiologically incapable" brigade confuse me for many reasons, but the most puzzling one is if they manage to turn up to work on time....

diddl · 24/09/2015 15:07

"so wonder where they all are today?!?!?"

The thread has only been going three hours!Grin

justmyview · 24/09/2015 15:09

Absolutely diddl - everyone can be on time if they think it's important. You never hear of these people missing holidays, losing jobs through poor timekeeping etc

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 24/09/2015 15:10

They're running late Anonymous, they'll be here in a day or two. Wink

AnonymousBird · 24/09/2015 15:16

diddl and BlackAmericano - of course, they will be along when they are good and ready.... just not when the rest of us are! Bet they turn up eventually though.

KB0612 · 24/09/2015 16:04

What annoys me most is that they almost never meet there commupence. They never miss the last train, get told they are too late to order food or enter the cinema. It always just seems to work out for them. It's on-time people like us that crap happens to!

JennyOnAPlate · 24/09/2015 17:22

I came on to mention the "psychologically incapable but still manage to turn up to work on time" brigade but I see I have been beaten to it!

Without a call or text I would wait max 20 minutes I think. If I got a text to say they'd be another hour yet I would say sorry but we'll have to rearrange.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 24/09/2015 17:51

I'd give 15 to 20 minutes at most.
I think it's very disrespectful to behave like that without good reason. If you struggle with timekeeping then put a reminder on your phone, its not exactly rocket science.
My sister is the chronically late one in my family. As a teen she decided that getting to the cinema on time "wasn't cool" so by the time we got there the only seats were right at the front left. Grrr.
She told my mum she was coming to stay for a week and would arrive on the Monday morning. She finally arrived on the Wednesday afternoon. My mum had rearranged what we were doing twice and then my sister became uncontactable on the Wednesday so we had no idea if she was coming at all!
We're all grown up now and she's still a bit of a pain, but we don't change plans for her now. If she's late, she misses out.

beardsrock · 24/09/2015 19:45

I once waited 30 minutes for a date.

Called him to see where the hell he was. Room mate told me he had fallen asleep after going swimming and drinking too much beer (gap year).

He profusely apologized and said he was on his way. Ten minutes later he showed up, groggy and apologetic.

Anyone else I would not have given the time of day, but as this was my future DH (which I already knew) I gave him a second chance.

Good job I did, been married 7 years!

jessifleur · 24/09/2015 19:56

I'm sorry if I offended you! Blush I just know that if a Spanish friend said 11, I wouldn't be surprised or upset if they were an hour late. But that understanding goes both ways (unlike with the OP and her flaky friend)

Starkswillriseagain · 24/09/2015 19:59

I don't mind lateness if people are just coming to mine for a drink- i use 'around X time' so not really late. Late like that, I'd be telling them that I'm waiting 20 minutes max next time and if they take the piss again then I won't be meeting them again.

2 hours I waited once. I couldn't go anywhere, I'd travelled to see them!

Gwenhwyfar · 24/09/2015 23:06

Depends if I'm meeting them inside or outside. Outside 10 mins max, inside would be longer as I'd be comfortable, but they'd get a talking to on arrival.

NinjaLeprechaun · 24/09/2015 23:27

If I had to be somewhere else I would wait as long as I could, but if I didn't then I would wait until they got there. After all I'm not otherwise out saving lives, my time isn't so valuable that I can't sit and wait, if they're worth making an effort to visit with then they're worth waiting for.

I find impatient people extremely distressing and often rude to be honest.

teacher54321 · 25/09/2015 06:41

I had a friend who was always late. She told me once the reason for it was that she didn't want to waste her time waiting for other people so she made sure she was late so they were waiting for her when she arrived. We are not friends anymore! That was just one example of her breathtaking self centredness!

DownUdderer · 25/09/2015 07:29

does anyone have problems with people who always turn up early?I find this just as rude!

louisejxxx · 25/09/2015 07:37

Conclusion?

hebihebi · 25/09/2015 08:10

Once I was late meeting my husband and in-laws for lunch. I called to explain I'd be 15 minutes late as I had missed my train. They said no problem but when I arrived at the restaurant they had already ordered and eaten. I got a bowl of something which I don't really like shoved towards me. I called in advance so they must have ordered when I called because they couldn't have ordered, made the food and eaten in 15 minutes. My in-laws are chronically early. Always at least an hour. Did I mention it was my birthday lunch? Some people are just plain rude.

teawamutu · 25/09/2015 08:24

I remember a mammoth previous thread which was full (eventually) of laties (NT, no SEN) insisting they physically can't be on time (yet manage to hold down a job, make hospital appts etc) because they would try to cram in half an hour's worth of tasks into five minutes, could not possibly get the concept of time needed to travel so would leave the house at the time they were meant to arrive at the destination etc etc etc.

And the thing I didn't (and still don't) get is: if you're self-aware enough to recognise that, and explain it on MN, why the feck can't you work round it? 'I know I always leave it too late so I won't try to do these six things'. 'I'll check the travel time and subtract it from the meeting time'.

It does reek to me of thinking you are a special snowflake and other people's time isn't as important as yours.

hebihebi Missing one train and being 15 mins late for your birthday lunch is just awful though. The chronically early are nearly as annoying as the chronically late Grin