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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that an hour late is taking the piss?

99 replies

CloakAndJagger · 24/09/2015 11:57

So, how long would you wait to meet someone before you gave up?

Arranged to meet a friend at 11am. They're always a bit late, so I got here for 11 rather than earlier.

At 11:20 they text to say they were on their way. They live 10 mins from where we were meeting. It's now nearly 12 and they're not here yet. I only put 2 hours on the parking, so have about 50 mins before I gphave to get back to the car.

How long would you wait before giving in?
What's the longest you've waited for someone?

OP posts:

rainpouringrainbows · 24/09/2015 12:29

30 mn is more than enough.

Unless: is she coming from work and might have been held up?
Does she have a newborn baby? With the best intentions in the world, some new mums are massively struggling to start with.

Otherwise, please do let us know what her excuses were.

I have some friends who are always late. We just gave them a different meeting time, between 15 and 30mn too early, so we don't have to wait for them.

PassiveAgressiveQueen · 24/09/2015 12:31

We just gave them a different meeting time, between 15 and 30mn too early

isn't this exactly the same as you just also being 15 mins late?
so arrange to meet at 11, both parties turn up at 11:15.

tbtc20 · 24/09/2015 12:40

passive No, because if you want to meet at 11am you then tell your always late friends that you will meet at 10.30. They arrive at 11am anyway, and so do you.

lacktoastandtolerance · 24/09/2015 12:45

We just gave them a different meeting time, between 15 and 30mn too early

Why do you take responsibilty for their rudeness? Because it is nothing more than pure, unadulterated, selfish rudeness.

Give them the actual time you want to meet, and leave if they're 15 minutes late and haven't been in touch with you.

Do this every time. There is absolutely no excuse to be regularly late for anything. One-off emergencies are fine, but otherwise - why do you place such a low value on your precious time?

BeautyQueenFromMars · 24/09/2015 13:01

My record is wednesday, they text to say setting off on the Sunday afternoon and picking up a takeaway curry to re-heat as about 3 hours drive away, finally arrived wednesday night... cury was a bit moldy but we just picked that bit out and had a drink.
WTAF?? *lovelyupnorth^, please elaborate. How on earth..?

BeautyQueenFromMars · 24/09/2015 13:02

Oops, bold fail

Jux · 24/09/2015 13:05

I have a friend like this. To me she's worth it and I would wait until she got there.

Most people I give about 15 mins, unless I really want to do whatever it is we've organised, or I have nothing else to do and am comfortable.

I usually have a book with me wherever I go so sometimes I've waited half an hour before I notice they're late. Again, if I'm comfortable and the book's good, and I don't need to be anywhere else, I might continue just reading until they arrive. It depends on the situation.

CatMilkMan · 24/09/2015 13:21

I'd call after 5 minutes, if they had a good reason I would wait or offer another arrangement that is more convenient for them.
If they didn't answer or text me I would wait 10 minutes maximum.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 24/09/2015 13:37

Oh that's terribly rude.

How do you manage to be an hour late when you're just ten minutes from the meeting point? And why wait twenty minutes after the time you were due to meet to let the person know you're on the way?

If you're not there at the time you're meant to be then you text at that time or within a few minutes to apologise and explain yourself.

dustarr73 · 24/09/2015 13:45

So what was the exscuse.I have a friend like this so i only leave my house when she is already on the bus.It drives me mad.

carabos · 24/09/2015 13:46

In my world an hour late isn't "taking the piss" it's "not coming". I won't wait longer than half an hour for anyone, especially if it's a social occasion.

Scobberlotcher · 24/09/2015 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

goldiesoxx · 24/09/2015 13:49

My best friend and her DP (my DP's best friend) are terrible. If we are going out together they'll be late and they'll text and say, "be there soon, just getting in shower" it irritates the crap out of me but I love the pair of them. I do give them shit for it though, they know the annoy me! :) they just don't know how to move quickly and don't care that they are late. There aren't many people I'd accept that sort of behaviour from though.

Corygal · 24/09/2015 13:52

Drives me nuts and it's bloody rude. If there is a next time - if - make sure you arrange to meet her at your house so at least you can do something else when she doesn't turn up. And don't answer the door or phone after the first 15 min delay.

Bakeoffcake · 24/09/2015 14:00

I have a friend who does this. I always arrive 15 mins late and she usually waltzes in 5 mins later. It doesn't bother me because I I'm sitting fuming for 20mins.

I'd be very cross with how you're friend had treated you today. Unless she has a very valid excuse.

KB0612 · 24/09/2015 14:16

I've got one of these.

The best bit is when you go to leave at planned departure time and they comment, "oh, you're going already?"

facepalm

escorpion · 24/09/2015 14:30

I always tell my "late friend" that meet up time is an hour earlier than I plan to get there. She still sometimes doesn´t make it on time

Onthematleavecountdown · 24/09/2015 14:32

Ridiculous. They clearly think their time is more important than yours.

diddl · 24/09/2015 14:33

"She still sometimes doesn´t make it on time "

I can't see what's funny about that at all tbh.

What is it that makes people repeatedly unable to get somewhere by a specified time?

lorelei9 · 24/09/2015 14:34

I don't put up with this any more

I actually had one late person suggest I start being late too in order to offset it. I just thought, she will turn up even later if she thinks I'm not going to be punctual....

and honestly, there's plenty more things to be doing in life than waiting around for a rude person.

jessifleur · 24/09/2015 14:36

Unless they're Spanish (in which case this is totally normal behaviour!) or a parent with a newborn (it takes me at least 45 mins to get out of the house at the moment!) Then don't wait xx

Neddyteddy · 24/09/2015 14:37

I would probably wait 20 mins max

AnnPerkins · 24/09/2015 14:37

Your friend would have known before 11am that she wasn't going to meet you on time. The fact that she let you sit there for 20 minutes before she even bothered to text you would have pissed me off so much I probably would have left then.

Neddyteddy · 24/09/2015 14:38

Agree if its a parent with newborn it's ok and temporary.

jennifer86 · 24/09/2015 14:42

Blatantly place marking as I want to know what had happened to OP's friend.

People like this really annoy me as well, do people genuinely not know how long it takes them to do things (like have a shower as PP mentioned?!) and take this into account when deciding to get start getting ready?

My current policy is to start whatever we had planned to do (eg if meeting for a cup of tea I will get mine). Depending who it is and how much I want to catch up with them determines whether I then hang around after drinking the tea or say I have other plans elsewhere.

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