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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think less of friend for grassing up another friend? poss benefit fraud related

108 replies

CatEyeFlick · 23/09/2015 12:18

my friend (A) confessed to me the other day that she has done an anonymous online report on another friend (B) for benefit fraud (living with her dp)

(A) has done it out of spite as (B) owes her money which she is paying back slowly £10 a week. (A) doesn't think its enough but (B) says that's all she can afford

if ((B) has done nothing wrong (which I doubt she has as as far as I know she doesn't live with her dp) then (B) will be still in the shit as her money will be stopped while the DSS look into it. which takes for ever and there is all sorts of humiliation and hoop jumping to go through

i think (A) should have just minded her own business, i think she has done it out of pure spite. and I wish she hadn't told me, I feel horrible knowing as I know that any day (B) is going to get the dreaded brown envelope. I have been there when i hadnt done anything wrong and its fucking horrible

they have been friends for years ffs

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 23/09/2015 22:04

I'd also tell B and not want to be friends with A anymore

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 23/09/2015 22:06

Yes B needs to know what a shit she's got for a "friend". I couldn't and wouldn't report my worse enemy.

Garrick · 23/09/2015 22:28

Yeah, ILive :( Her regional boss is indeed a cunt, who achieved social media fame for a while due to her Forever Living style motivational programme to increase sanctions. The adviser, I think, has moved into a different area which is just as bad but will allow her to persuade herself she's helping claimants - what she joined to do :(

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 23/09/2015 22:35

Ewww. The bitch is corrupt and never will be and she's not fit to lace that poor vulnerable women's shoes.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 23/09/2015 22:37

After corrupt . I meant to say No good. I just get so passionate about things that I miss words out because my mind is racing away faster than I'm typing

NeedsAsockamnesty · 23/09/2015 22:57

I would not want anything to do with anybody who could do this to another human being knowing that the allegation was untrue,quite aside from it being a deeply unpleasant dishonest action,

It would make me feel vulnerable to all sorts,whose to know that one day I may answer my door to find the police and social services on my door step after being told that I have harmed my chikdren in some way all because I annoyed said "friend" by looking at her in the wrong way. Because the type of person who can make up a false allegation about benefits could make one about anything so if you have any thing in life you are attached to you hand them a weapon

Original poster
CatEyeFlick · 24/09/2015 08:08

Maybe this is an issue that mumsnet could be asked to sponsor..Some people, like myself, are not overly concerned about benefit fraud, others get quite steamed up about it, but I think we could all come together in asking for people to be considered innocent until proved guilty and for justice to be expedite

atenco what a great idea.

OP posts:
iamanintrovert · 24/09/2015 08:18

I'd also suggest to B that she stops repaying the money!

Stormtreader · 24/09/2015 09:42

There should definately be some kind of e-petition that if someone is investigated and found not guilty, their stopped benefits should at least be back-dated

NeedsAsockamnesty · 24/09/2015 14:54

They are back dated, however that does not change the fact that the vast majority of people who have it stopped will not have access to credit and utter financial chaos occured when their money is stopped

Garrick · 24/09/2015 15:45

Yes, by that time they may have become homeless if the benefit was HB, and/or have racked up massive debts at 400% to 1,200% interest. Some of these debts could be with the kind of company that trashes your house or your face if you can't repay. You will also have sold stuff you're going need, and none of your broken & worn-out things will have been replaced.

Original poster
CatEyeFlick · 24/09/2015 16:20

needsa I am sure mine weren't back dated

was back in 2008 though might be different now

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 24/09/2015 16:49

On the presumption that B's DP has not actually moved in, I would start by telling B

then I would also file a report on line to report A for filing a malicious time wasting complaint.

What.A.Bitch

reni2 · 24/09/2015 17:10

Have you told B yet, OP or is she unaware and buying shoes that could wait instead of keeping every penny?

Original poster
CatEyeFlick · 24/09/2015 17:18

I am seeing her tomorrow, I will tell her then face to face

its going to destroy my friendship with (A) I have known her since I was 15, cant believe this has happened

OP posts:
Starkswillriseagain · 24/09/2015 17:49

I'd also suggest to B that she stops repaying the money!

iamanintrovert, I'd go the other way. Not give her anything to try and twist into making it my fault- and you know someone like that will have the gift of the gab manipulation wise. Better to pay it off and never speak to again.

Cat, what does A think you think now? What did you say to her when she told you?

AskBasil · 24/09/2015 17:58

"I can't believe everyone who is 'reported' gets their benefits stopped"

Why not?

Why would it surprise you that the system has been set up to humiliate and distress poor people?

It's deeply corrupt and it hands over power to cunts like the OP's Friend A.

For the sake of less than 1% of fraud. Benefit fraud is fucking miniscule compared to tax evasion. A drop in the ocean. And when it happens, it's generally committed by people who are utterly desperate and have no choice.

I fucking hate the way the British have become a nation of Mr Bumble's, Dickens would recognise some of you lot.

Atenco · 24/09/2015 17:59

I'd also suggest to B that she stops repaying the money!

What is owed, is owed. Better to borrow from Peter to pay Paul and never see this woman again.

It is hard, Cateye, to lose a friendship of such long standing, but unfortunately this woman sounds like a very dangerous friend to have and not someone you would choose as a friend if you had only recently met her.

trian · 24/09/2015 18:22

tell B. Forewarned is fore-armed. This way B can be ready when she gets asked about - she can explain that it's a malicious claim, social services know that people make malicious fraud claims. It might not stop them investigating her but it will add weight to her cause.

trian · 24/09/2015 18:30

as i understand it, most benefit fraud is committed on a large scale by scumbag landlords fraudulently claiming housing benefit and c tax benefit etc.

and yes, compared to tax evasion (nevermind tax avoidance), it's very small.

I'm not denying that some people defraud the system purely to get rich (well, rich compared to me), but we shouldn't let those few people distract us from the main culprits (see above). They're well known about becuase people enjoy ranting about them, so the gutter press print stories about these individuals.

Sorry I don't have any references to hand in order to back up what I'm saying but I'm pretty sure The Guardian have a good infographic on this.

AskBasil · 24/09/2015 18:42

Here you go Trian

Original poster
CatEyeFlick · 25/09/2015 20:51

well just to update

I told her

she was gutted, and cried, she couldn't believe it

the one positive thing is that it turns out that she actually is now living with her OH (he has moved in) I had no idea as hadn't seen her properly for a while, and they have informed dss.

so at least she wont get in any shit, I hope (cant see why she would now)

she has said she wont tell (A) that I told her, but tbh it doesn't matter if she does because I don't want to know (A) anymore

OP posts:
Starkswillriseagain · 25/09/2015 21:11

Oh bless her, I'm not surprised she was devastated- she's been betrayed by a friend.

Good for telling her though OP, she needed to know and A needs to know she's done wrong.

Shutthatdoor · 25/09/2015 21:14

the one positive thing is that it turns out that she actually is now living with her OH (he has moved in) I had no idea as hadn't seen her properly for a while, and they have informed dss.

So the 'grassing' friend was right then Confused

Tiptops · 25/09/2015 21:17

Errr, no shut

If the friend has informed the DSS about her partner moving in she's done nothing wrong.