To ask for your experiences (+ve and -ve) of IVF?

[StackladysMorphicResonator]

DH and I are about to start IVF after TTC for 2 years and being diagnosed with "unexplained infertility". I think it's fair to say we're a bit shell-shocked - we never expected to be in this position (probably no-one does), and although we understand how the technique works we don't really know what else to expect.

If you have any experience of undergoing IVF please could you share this with us? I'd post on the Infertility boards but those threads are generally people who are going through it currently rather than those who've come out the other side (with or without a child).

Thanks in advance.

Did it, twice, got twins and a singleton. 3 for 2!

No regrets. Have you a list of questions? Loads of people have had it, and will be happy to answer! Good luck!

One round, much less hassle than I thought with the injections etc. Done at a time when there was no pain relief given for the egg harvest, which was without doubt one of the most painful things in my life. I think you get anaesthetic now.

You get a scan at around 6 weeks, so get to see your (hopeful!) baby earlier than most. It is very special. After that, it was pretty much business as usual in terms of monitoring etc.

DD is now almost 16 and heading off on her silver DofE expedition this weekend. After her, we had 2 others "accidentally" after the consultant said I could never conceive naturally "in a million years".

Good luck!

Have sent you a pm :-)

Out of interest - how can infertility be 'unexplained'?

Does it mean that everything is working fine, it just hasn't happened? In which case, two years isn't that long really, surely?

Minecraft "unexplained" just means they haven't run the test which shows what the problem is but after two years, there's a problem. Some clinics are more investigative than others.
Two years is really at the top end of how long you leave it without bringing in treatments. And considerably less so if the woman is over 35 or has other issues.

And Slicedfinger, they do egg collection under sedation. You don't feel a thing these days, it's like a lovely rest!

OP, I went to a very intensive and invasive clinic, but with great results and although it's all encompassing at the time, now I can hardly remember it, such is its significance to my life. My children are all under 6 so not that long ago either.

I just find it curious - surely it would be more...sensible?...to find out what the problem actually is before recommending IVF?

Well in an ideal world, of course. Most clinics run standard tests for both parties, and if all looks fine but you're still not pregnant then they call it "unexplained." But the treatment is often the same as if you DO know what the problem is, so you may as well have the IVF.

A number of years ago now we did 2 (or 3?) lots of IVF with fresh eggs plus a couple more with frozen. No success. Very tiring (from the drugs and emotionally). Glad we tried though as I think we woulod always have wondered 'what if'.
Then went on to adopt our lovely girls.

Ours was "unexplained" in that none of the tests we had were conclusive. There were still tests they could do for other causes but, if it did turn out to be one of those causes, the treatment would still be IVF. Hence, it seemed like a waste of time having the tests we decided to cut to the chase and have the IVF.

This was quite some time ago (1995). We had one round and it was successful! Our lovely DD has just entered her second year at Uni.

DH was taught how to do the injections so I didn't have to go to the clinic every day.

For the egg collection I had a choice of general anaesthetic or local and a sedative. I went for the latter and there were a couple of painful moments but mostly I was completely out of it.

It wasn't so prohibitively expensive for us. Although we didn't go NHS our GP did get us the drugs on prescription so we only had to pay for the treatment. Also we had no spare embryos so thee was no cost of storing frozen embryos. I think it cost us £1000, but that was 20 years ago!

The diagnosis of "Unexplained Infertility' is often misinterpreted as 'Nothing wrong'

I believe a more accurate translation would be 'Medical science has not yet advanced enough to determine what is wrong with you'.

It is one of the most difficult diagnoses to treat, as they won't know what the problem is, and therefore will have no idea how to fix it.

My wife and I went through it 3 years ago. She was incredible with what she had done to her, with this test and that test. I was lucky, I just w4nked into a cup. The doctors couldn't find any reason why we couldn't conceive
We were entitled to three try's on the NHS. When they retrieved the eggs from my wife they only managed 3 eggs total. Which broke my wife's heart, and she kept blaming herself, although the nurse kept saying its about quality not quantity.
5 days later my wife went back to have the fertilised egg implanted. And was told of the three eggs, only 2 were viable. On the NHS their only allowed to implant one at a time. So they did their thing.

6 days later, my wife had her period, so that was that. She phoned them up to let them know, so we could start the next cycle of drugs and they told her she still had to do a pregnancy test, due to the dangers of the drugs IF there was a baby in there.
So she waited two days then did it. And shock horror, she was pregnant. Never cried so much through happiness.

Anyway, she went full term and was induced after a 48 hour labour. But what a son we have. And from around January the 11th, we'll be expecting our 2nd. This time it happened completely naturally.

Remember that what you and you partner go through has to be shared, talk, discuss and bottle up nothing. You may have to not too nice experiences, but mentally he's going to struggle too.
I wish you both all the luck I can.

P.S The other nice thing is that the place you go to isn't like a hospital, but more a stately home (we went Bourne hall, Cambridge) and it really puts you at ease.

In fairness though, 2 years isn't that long to TTC - I often think this is one of the cruellest aspects of unexplained infertility, there is always that tantalising possibility that the next cycle could be The One.

In our case (severe sperm motility problems) we knew it was either IVF (+ICSI) or no baby. Somehow, this made it an easier decision and our first attempt was successful.

FWIW, I found it very straightforward. It was expensive, and inconvenient, but we paid privately and had a BFP in no time at all (under 2 months from start of treatment to BFP).

How old are you both OP?

We spent 3 years TTC, diagnosed with MF and PCOS, horrible time. Got BFP first attempt of IVF and have DC1. Everything went fine, though I found egg collection painful, but that was apparently unusual (maybe it was due to the PCOS, i don't know.

18 months later got a surprise BFP and now have DC2.

Negatives
Cost (it's not free in Australa)
Stress
Weight gain
Not knowing if it will work
People making stupid comments about relaxing or adopting
Invasive procedures
Hormones

Positives
None so far as all our attempts have failed

We too fall under the unexplained infertility umbrella. No known issues. Blood tests, scans, laparoscopy etc all normal for both of us.

Unexplained infertility here too. We had numerous failed rounds of IUI before having one round of IVF which resulted in our beautiful DD1. Fell pg naturally before her 1st birthday with DD2 - the biggest (and best) shock of my life!!

The actual process of IVF was fine, actually. I felt sorrier for my DH having to learn how to give me my injections each morning. Think that was more nervewracking for him than me! Egg retrieval was done under sedation and was no bother. The embryo implantation was done awake and was quite painful. I experienced some bleeding after that but thankfully everything was ok.

Best advice I can give (and the hardest thing to do) is try not to stress and keep positive. Good luck x

DaddyDr your post made me fill up! X

We had ICSI due to significant motility issues.
The whole thing was very straightforward although time consuming as I had 3-4 blood tests & scans per week at the hospital (an hour away) during the "Stimms" phase. We got a BFP first time (which is more likely with ICSI/IVF than IUI.

Fast forward 18m and I had a surprise BFP - the consultant had told us we had 0% chance of natural conception ??.

From my limited viewpoint I would say that I feel that IVF is not particularly traumatic when you have a great first cycle (like many of us on here). But I can well imagine that every time you have to repeat the process after an insuccessful cycle the emotional and physical effects get harder to bear.

But I can well imagine that every time you have to repeat the process after an insuccessful cycle the emotional and physical effects get harder to bear.

^ Very valid point

DaddyDr lovely post

Also worth pointing out that it can be an non-invasive as you like - I did all my own scans (inserted the probe thingy myself etc) and had GA for the nasty bits.

Always remember it is your body and you get to determine what happens to it...

Re the sperm sample, my friend went to a different clinic to me and her poor husband had to produce a sample in a cubicle and on the other side of the curtain was a woman trying to send a fax!

Not quite sure how non-invasive IVF can be! I think if you're having it you have to accept it's very invasive. If you have a problem with that you're going to struggle.

No, it doesn't have to be. My treatment (and my DD) are testament to this.

You might need to stamp your feet somewhat, and be prepared to pay extra, but you are in charge of your own body.

I think when people forget this, IVF becomes something that is done to you (so to speak) and it becomes really unpleasant.

Alas not all IVF centres are former stately homes! DH once had to produce a sample in a medical store cupboard.

It is worth remembering that odds-wise IVF puts you back into the realms of a normal couple who conceive naturally - they still may not manage to do so in the first month they try, and it is best to view IVF as a course of treatment (though a flaming expensive one!)

If you have options then do check round what centres are local to you. Embryologists can have hugely different success rates. And if you are working then take into account the fact that you may need regular blood test and scans during the cycle. My local NHS hospital only did scans at lunchtime which was a pain when I worked an hour away.

DS1 was conceived on our 3rd IVF attempt (which followed various IUIs and Clomid cycles). DS2 was conceived on our next IVF cycle. Might have gone for a third but I think we decided we were fortunate with the 2 we had, and they would have been unfairly affected by the time, stress and expense of further rounds.