To ask for your experiences (+ve and -ve) of IVF?

[StackladysMorphicResonator]

DH and I are about to start IVF after TTC for 2 years and being diagnosed with "unexplained infertility". I think it's fair to say we're a bit shell-shocked - we never expected to be in this position (probably no-one does), and although we understand how the technique works we don't really know what else to expect.

If you have any experience of undergoing IVF please could you share this with us? I'd post on the Infertility boards but those threads are generally people who are going through it currently rather than those who've come out the other side (with or without a child).

Thanks in advance.

Re trying for a sibling - We decided to use our frozen embyros and then stop. I think a lot of people set a limit in terms of number of attempts or a time limit when trying for a sibling. We cannot conceive naturally so we knew there was no more possibility of pregnancy which in some ways made it easier.

To hear "well you can always adopt" is a kick in the teeth. I am sure not everyone will feel like that but to me it is unnecessary.

Adoption isn't always an option either. Many couples are going through IVF in their late 30s or 40s, and at that age many authorities don't allow couples to adopt babies. Because of my husband's age we would only have been able to adopt an older child, and given that many of the children of that age up for adoption have had a rough start in life, the specialist care and time they need is not something that everyone can give. My family fostered many children like this when I was younger and I am under no illusion of the difficulties faced when adopting an older child. For me, adoption would never have been an option, even if IVF hadn't worked.

Haven't read the whole thread, but FWIW I found IVF much less emotionally draining than "simply" TTC with clomiphene and with other drugs. It's not every single month, and somehow having the eggs taken out of me and handled by doctors made me feel as if it wasn't only me failing if it didn't work. But it did eventually work, btw, and was absolutely worth it. As others have said, I've had worse times at the dentist.
Remember you're a hero for having to go through all this; pat yourself on your back for your courage and steadfastness. But honestly, the physical part of IVF is nothing. It's the emotional disaster of TTC that was a problem.

I had had enough once I had gone through treatments such as chlomid and metformin (PCOS). So instead of IVF, I went for acupuncture at the gerad kite clinic. I reasoned that it was nice to do something for me, get my cycle sorted, feel less stressed )PR high maintenance job and if I got pregnant, that would be a great bonus. It was expensive but cheaper than IVF. The good news is that after four months of treatments. I was pregnant. There are other options x

Everyone is different. I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant following ICSI so obviously I've had a happy outcome but it has been a long, hard road getting here.

From my experience, it was not comparable to going to the dentist! It is manageable, but it was not enjoyable to inject myself every day, to go for internal scans and blood tests every few days, insert pessaries for months, be constantly bloated and constipated, be sedated for egg collection, and deal with OHSS. Like I say, it is entirely manageable but it should not be minimised as a process. The emotional side of it is difficult, although compared to years and years of heartbreaking nothingness it was a vast improvement as it felt like some progress was being made at last.

There are a lot of other factors to take into account: the stigma of IVF, the sheer time and effort involved in attending the clinic constantly, the feelings of inadequacy, the effect on your relationship... Everyone has their own hurdles but for me it has been a real roller coaster.

We were lucky in that other than a cancelled transfer for OHSS, we had a successful cycle with some frozen embryos. I can't begin to consider how I would feel if it had not worked out so well. The pain of TTC was horrendous, the pain of unsuccessful IVF I can only imagine and my heart goes out to those who have not had success.

I've been through it and came out the other side with an adopted child.

Going through three cycles was hideous; the peaks and troughs of hope and despair was unlike anything else I've ever experienced.

My advice would be to have a plan and stick with it. Decide before you start how many cycles you're prepared to have/can afford. Start thinking now about what you'd do if they don't work (ie looking at donor ivf, adoption or accepting childlessness).

Several years of unsuccessful treatments. Clinic we were using claimed a success rate above 35%. It was only with hindsight I realised I should have asked for the age-related success-rate, which would have probably been in the region of 12%. Switched treatment to egg donation, at a clinic abroad where donors were available. That worked at the second attempt.