To send a polite message back?

[mojitomother]

Was collared by an old friend last week who had a lot of grievances to air against me. She has a long history of this and her claims were very me-me-me and quite ridiculous. I was so shocked at the time that I couldn't defend myself but know deep down that that's what she's like and she won't listen to any thing I say in my defence. Wrote a few therapeutic letters which I was going to send but have now decided against it. She has since messaged me saying how it was very healthy for her to get everything out!

We are in a wider group of friends, all of whom know my side and I think find her behaviour just as unreasonable as I do. So for that sake I don't think I should completely cut her off.

I don't know what to do though. Do I say anything back? Either way she's not going to change so I'm torn. Wwyd?

I'm fortunate that I haven't had to do this very often in my life at all, but I think it's the same principle as getting over an X. If that person was capable of seeing life from a rational the same perspective as you, you wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place. Nothing you can say or do will make them see the error of their ways. They will only change if they make that discovery themselves, and frankly, most people don't.

Therefore, don't waste your breath. Accept that you will always see it differently. If the injustice of that stings, find a way of releasing the anger. I went for lots of stomps walks with the dog while having imaginary conversations in my head until I walked it out of my system.

Yes second pound Exercise is a great healer. Whenever you're feeling wound up about it all, get out and focus on something else. Sad to say I don't have a lovely dog to walk (don't think the cat would tolerate it either...) but personally running helps me...
Take care of yourself, you are probably a bit all over the place but remember to spend time on you

Thanks v much cat and pounding, walks are definitely a good shout, I don't do enough exercise as it is so I guess she has done me a favour of sorts

Have been keeping busy over the past few days which has helped and really happy now that I didn't message back in anger (thanks to you lot!), I feel like I've retained the moral high ground if only in my head and relieved I've not been drawn into an argument too!

Have hidden her on FB etc and it feels good. Onwards and upwards, cheers and thanks all for being so lovely

Onwards and upwards. Good for you.

burn the letters might make you feel better?

Haha goaway I might just do that

They're all typed actually haha or written in notes on my phone (bloody technology) and deleting them is nowhere near as therapeutic...! Next step is voodoo right? only half joking

Go for the voodoo - not that I believe in voodoo, but taking your anger out on a representation of the problem is great. When I had a similar(ish) situation, my lovely boyfriend (now DH) made me a stick-figure picture of the person to deface - it was incredibly therapeutic! Other than that, ranty diatribes in your head about all the things you could say to her should you meet again. Pretty much the same process as getting over an ex really!

Best wishes with it all - I know how much it sucks