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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about my son's lunchbox

109 replies

Bogeybrains · 22/09/2015 21:00

Sorry for what is probably a boring topic to many but would like opinions on this. Since he has gone back to school, my previously picky eating 7 year old has transformed. The school are rewarding the children with stickers and rewards if they finish everything in their lunchbox. DS now insists on eating every single crumb as opposed to hardly eating anything.He is looking so much healthier. However, DS is coming home upset and cross because he is missing playtime with his friends because he spends his entire lunch break in the hall. Surely this is not normal. I'm wondering if I am giving him too much but I don't think I am. He normally has a tuna and cucumber sandwich on 2 slices of bread, cheese stick, yoghurt, piece of fruit and a flapjack/cake. Is this a normal amount for a 7 year old or am I overfeeding the poor thing making him miss playtime?

OP posts:
OhWotIsItThisTime · 23/09/2015 11:00

Ds1, 7, has packed lunch on school trips:

Ham (naice), cheese and pickle sandwich
Olives
Handful of twiglets
Banana and either plum or apple
Yoghurt
Protein (usually leftover chicken wing or thigh)

He's not overweight. But once I worried his lunch was too big, so left out the chicken. I overheard him asking dh for advice on how he could tell me he needed more as he was still hungry.

Gottagetmoving · 23/09/2015 11:04

I think some mums worry too much about their kids going hungry at school and over do the lunchbox. I should think a sandwich and a piece of fruit is enough. A child does not have to be 'full up' after eating. They just need enough to keep them going until their next meal.
I couldn't eat a sandwich plus a Yoghurt, plus a cheese stick, piece of fruit and a cake at lunch so I think it IS too much for a 7 year old, no wonder he doesn't have time to have playtime. If the other kids are managing that amount quickly they must be stuffing it down.

MiaowTheCat · 23/09/2015 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DamnBamboo · 23/09/2015 12:02

Am perfectly chilled worra

Not sure what relevance working for Gordon Ramsay would have in this context but let's not confuse the issue here.

The reality of it is that you are not always right - it's that simple!

It pains me to read some of the utter shite people type when it comes to advising other people on how to bring up their kids and your statement was a very definitive one, and given your subsequent qualification of it's broader meaning, obviously badly written and factually incorrect as a response to this poster. You've been quite rightly called on your irrelevant post - just move on.

TiredOfPeople · 23/09/2015 12:16

I don't think I know any kids who would just have a sandwich and fruit and it be enough either

^This. There was one tiny waif of a 7 year old at my friend's school who would eat that, but the kids were all so hungry come lunch time a two-slice sandwhich and fruit would nowhere near be enough. I guess though if you're not an active child it would be though. I showed that advice to my husband (just a sandwhich and a piece of fruit) and he laughed.

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2015 12:32

It pains me to read some of the utter shite people type when it comes to advising other people on how to bring up their kids

And who are you? Mary fucking Poppins? Grin

No-one's forcing you to put up with such pain. You clearly think your opinion is the only right one here, and with an attitude like that, I can't see the pain easing any time soon.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 23/09/2015 12:38

My three year old eats that much for lunch. I'm shocked at how little I should be giving him then!

MinecraftWonder · 23/09/2015 13:29

I should think a sandwich and a piece of fruit is enough

I don't understand how you can have such a generalised opinion tbh - not just this post, but plenty of others.

So this ^ 'should' be enough for who? All primary children? The four year old girl and the ten year old boy playing competitive sport?

TheExMotherInLaw · 23/09/2015 13:46

Why not ask the lad himself?

Gottagetmoving · 23/09/2015 13:49

I cannot see how a sandwich and a piece of fruit can not be considered enough for a child at lunchtime unless they are not getting any dinner until about 7 pm - which I think is too late for a young child

I think the tendency is to over feed kids these days and it is getting worse. No child is 'starving' after having a sandwich and fruit. They may be a bit hungry or peckish a few hours later.

yeOldeTrout · 23/09/2015 13:51

I worked as MSA for a while.
I'd suggest one piece of bread & maybe lose the yogurt (mess waiting to happen anyway).
What 7yo in OP had would be more than I would expect most 7yos to be able to finish.
It's literally twice as much food as my own 7yo could finish for lunch. Mine is a very slow eater, too, but wasn't the worst in his yr group at all.

yeOldeTrout · 23/09/2015 13:52

... What OP described was also much more than any of mine would ever eat in yr6.

rainbowunicorn · 23/09/2015 14:00

my 10 year old has gone to school with the following today

around a third of a chicken breast cut into small chunks
a small piece of cheese chopped up
a scone with butter
around 20 gapes
1 small carrot cut into sticks.
he also has a little pot about 15ml of sweet chili sauce

he had shreddies with banana for breakfast at 7.30 and will eat his meal around 6 this evening

DamnBamboo · 23/09/2015 14:02

I don't think my opinion is the only one that is right at all.
Err, how can I say this again, clearly so it's easy to grasp.

Yours wasn't an opinion! Does that clear it up for you?

Aah resorting to swearing and personal attacks I see Hmm

MinecraftWonder · 23/09/2015 14:21

No child is 'starving' after having a sandwich and fruit

Mine eat breakfast at 7.30am.

Dinner is at 5.30pm.

Ten hours. Yes, mine would be hungry if all they had was a sandwich an an apple in that time.

It's clearly turned into a 'who feeds their kids the least' competition Hmm . But whilst some dc can clearly function all day on no more than a cup of water and a chunk of dust, surely, surely you can understand that some dc need more?

Ds1 aged 7 - I posted his lunchbox earlier. Firstly, he's much bigger than your average 7 year old and looks more at home with some of the year 6 boys than the year 3's.

He plays sport. A lot. Not an inch of spare fat on him.

Today at school he has outdoor PE - 1.5 hours of fairly heavy exercise. He has an afterschool dance class 3.30-4. That's without his play times, when I know for a fact he'll be playing football non-stop.

He uses a lot of energy. And no, a sarnie and an apple wouldn't cut it. Maybe for your dc it would be enough. So speak for yours - not for all.

Battleshiphips2 · 23/09/2015 14:36

My ds has hot meatball wrap (food flasks are fab),tub of grapes, small cornflake cake and a few nachos in a tub. He will eat his wrap, grapes and mini cornflake cake but the nachos will be scoffed on the way home. Tomorrow it's hot homemade sausage on a bun and a different piece of fruit with a biscuit. Try him with sandwich, cheese or yogurt, fruit and maybe a small biscuit.

hebihebi · 23/09/2015 14:40

This thread has turned very strange but then lunch box threads often do for some reason.

Honestly, it depends on the child. This is why I hate lunch box policing.

I think it's great that the OP's son is doing so well. As he asked to drop the fruit from his lunch box then I'd be fine with that. There's plenty left in there to fill him up and keep him healthy. Mine usually have some fruit with breakfast or after school.

If after a week he decides he'd like the fruit back. Then you can put it back in. It's not like he's asking for a Mars bar and can of full fat coke.

My 7 year olds are twin boys. They have completely different appetites. Twin 1 would eat all that no problem. Twin 2 is a picky eater and seems to live on milk and bread. They're the same height but there's an 8kg difference between their weights. They actually introduced the sticker system at their school and Twin 1 was so proud as he got a sticker almost every day. Twin 2 wasn't bothered and never got a sticker. They stopped the system after a term. I guess someone complained. Twin 1 was very sore about it.

bexcee8 · 23/09/2015 14:42

My children have a sandwich (2 slices of bread), a piece of fruit, either a yoghurt, yoghurt drink it some cheese and then a little packet of mini cheddars or a cereal bar of some sort. They tend to eat the biscuits/bar at break time then the rest at lunch.

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2015 16:23

Exactly Gottagetmoving

Most schools finish approximately 3 hours after the child has eaten lunch.

If they come home hungry, how is that not a good thing? It means they'll be looking forward to dinner.

If dinner isn't until much later, then a glass of milk and a banana for example will keep them going.

But I doubt any child would be going back to their classroom actually hungry after a sandwich with 2 slices of bread, a piece of fruit and a drink.

sproketmx · 23/09/2015 16:52

Mine would be hungry an hour or so after that. They had a roll on cheese and ham, a packet of crisps, a biscuit, a yoghurt, a juice and a baby bell today and ran in here for a jam piece at five past three before running out to play with their pals. Oldest been back in for a bowl of cereal since. Il be putting their tea on in a half hour and they whollop that down too

Gottagetmoving · 23/09/2015 18:00

I agree Worraliberty the length of time from lunch to hometime is really short. It's well known that the more a child gets used to eating in a sitting, the more they want to feel satisfied.
There seems to be an obsession with kids being hungry or a fear they won't cope if they are not full up.
Some kids are greedy not hungry. There is a difference.
Perhaps some are given too big a portion from the start.

OhWotIsItThisTime · 23/09/2015 18:40

Surely if you don't make your kid clear their plate, limit junk, feed them healthy stuff and they're not over weight, then it doesn't matter how much they eat?

Kids are different. Ds1 eats loads, ds2 not so much. Both are healthy.

cruikshank · 23/09/2015 18:45

But not all children come home at 3 o'clock!

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2015 18:59

Of course not all kids go home at 3 o'clock, but surely they'd get a chance to have a banana or something before doing whatever they do after school?

I mean rather than packing them out with loads of food in one sitting at lunch, when they'll be running around or doing PE straight after.

Besides, if they're used to big lunches rather than light ones from such an early age, they probably will still be hungry again at 3 o'clock before long, because it'll take more to fill them up.

Gottagetmoving · 23/09/2015 19:11

They may not have a weight problem now, but being used to lots of food in one sitting will eventually turn into a weight problem later on.
I have a good appetite but at lunch (12 o'clock) I have a sandwich which I make myself to take to work and a piece of fruit. No way could I eat a yoghurt, cheese stick and a cake or cereal bar on top of that, and I don't have evening meal until 6 pm..I think kids get used to the amounts you give them. I don't think it's good to feel full after a meal. You just need enough to satisfy you.
I think it's more about mums fussing and worrying than what a child actually needs.