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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

about my son's lunchbox

109 replies

Bogeybrains · 22/09/2015 21:00

Sorry for what is probably a boring topic to many but would like opinions on this. Since he has gone back to school, my previously picky eating 7 year old has transformed. The school are rewarding the children with stickers and rewards if they finish everything in their lunchbox. DS now insists on eating every single crumb as opposed to hardly eating anything.He is looking so much healthier. However, DS is coming home upset and cross because he is missing playtime with his friends because he spends his entire lunch break in the hall. Surely this is not normal. I'm wondering if I am giving him too much but I don't think I am. He normally has a tuna and cucumber sandwich on 2 slices of bread, cheese stick, yoghurt, piece of fruit and a flapjack/cake. Is this a normal amount for a 7 year old or am I overfeeding the poor thing making him miss playtime?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/09/2015 21:45

defineme that's just a rough guide.

SingingSamosa · 22/09/2015 21:48

My 7 year old daughter eats a wrap (filled with philadelphia, cucumber, lettuce), a yoghurt (petit filous Big Pot, or a Frube), a small pot of grapes (about 10) and either a small pot of sliced radishes (yes, I know - but my kids all love radishes for some reason!) or some whole almonds/walnuts and raisins or other dried fruit. She always finishes all of her lunch.

BrandNewAndImproved · 22/09/2015 21:51

Mine don't eat a lot at lunchtime so I don't bother putting a lot in for it all to go in the bin.

One piece of bread for a cheese sandwich. Sometimes a sausage roll instead.
A frube
Some sort of fruit or carrot sticks or cherry tomatoes
Packet of crisps on a Friday only.

They buy toast for tuck. They're 8 & 9 and would eat double that at home but they prefer to play outside then eat their lunch.

cruikshank · 22/09/2015 21:54

I think as others have said it completely depends on what else he's eating, and also what your circumstances are. My dcs' day at school starts at 7.45 having had their breakfast at around 7 and doesn't end until we get home from after-school club at around 6, with another half hour to prepare a meal for them to wait until they eat. So that's over 11 hours and really a sandwich, bit of fruit and a drink is in no way enough to keep them going for all of that time.

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2015 21:55

What do you serve for lunch when you are all home at the weekend? That should give you an indication of how much is needed.

MNerAnon · 22/09/2015 22:02

If it were me, I'd experiment on cutting portions on the weekend, where you can add in extras if needed and prevent unnecessary discomfort of a rumbly tum or weak legs at school where he's powerless to change anything that day.

It seems a lot to me, I'd probably start with cutting the 2 slices into 4 squares and only giving 3 of them (cut down slowly!) and like everyone else says, I'd do one source of calcium, so either cheese or yogurt, but not both.

If he's asking for fruit to be excluded maybe you could switch to tiny portion of blueberries and a plum so it doesn't seem as much? (But actually is!)

ShiningWhite · 22/09/2015 22:08

My 8 and 6 year olds have a similar sized lunch. My 8 year old has two sandwiches (and is very skinny, he has hollow legs!).

sproketmx · 22/09/2015 22:08

Mine get a sandwich or a roll, juice, packet of crisps and a yoghurt. I dont think what you're giving him is a lot. How long does he take to eat it?

Notoedike · 22/09/2015 22:10

That lunchbox would have been far too much for my dcs at 7 years old but they are all different. Personally I hate the finish up your lunch box/ plate police - it really is quite an unhealthy approach to eating....my dcs have a variable appetite some days they feel like a lot other days not so much. Some days they eat a massive breakfast, little lunch and a massive dinner, they are verging on the skinny side of healthy.
I feel lunch time is about a break from adults and a time for unstructured play as much as it's about eating. The dcs need down time too.

WorraLiberty · 22/09/2015 22:10

If he's eating breakfast and then dinner when he gets home, I can't see rumbly tum or weak legs being a problem.

Honestly, they just need a light lunch before they go running round the playground or doing PE.

When I visit my local primary school lunch hall (as a governor), some of the kids have a banquet crammed into their lunch boxes, instead of a light lunch.

The school dinners are far smaller than some kids packed lunches.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 22/09/2015 22:11

OP I wouldn't eat that much for lunch now - even dinner unless in a restaurant. Incidentally I was an awful eater til about age 9, and still eat slowly but I now eat basically everything(except devil food aubergine). I would half the sandwich and do 1 calcium thing?

Scaredycat3000 · 22/09/2015 22:12

We had a new HT last September. She started a similar reward system. I pointed out she was teaching children to ignore their bodies and in many cases overeat. Many of the children are already overweight, some very. It stopped fairly quickly. Whilst this sounds good for your son, overall it's teaching poor eating behavior. Maybe try to give him foods that quicker to eat, a banana/plum/peach is quick to eat an apple not so quick.

cruikshank · 22/09/2015 22:12

Agree about the finish your lunch brigade, Notoedlike and others - I think it's much better that children learn to regulate their own food intake and just eat as much as they need to.

ouryve · 22/09/2015 22:15

I'd give him the sandwich plus two other things. Yoghurts are a faff to eat, anyhow.

WorraLiberty · 22/09/2015 22:16

I agree the finish your lunch thing is outdated and awful, especially as many parents give their kids far more than they can/want to eat.

It's far better imo for the school to have a 'no bin' policy. So they put all empty wrappers/leftover food back in their lunch boxes....that way parents know exactly what they've eaten and left.

Glasspumpkin · 22/09/2015 22:18

Mine refuse to eat a banana or apple at lunch because the core and skin are yucky in their lunchbox afterwards apparently.

Mine also refuse sandwiches and prefer a wrap instead.

All fruit is now grapes or berries anything basically that doesn't leave any remnants.

My Dd 8 eats far less than my DS 9 although OP I generally give them what you do.

Jw35 · 22/09/2015 22:23

I think leave it. He's looking healthier, everything's going well. He will learn to speed up if he wants to play!

LooseAtTheSeams · 22/09/2015 22:24

The packed lunch sounds great! What I would do to give him more playtime is keep the sandwich and fruit as the base lunch and then add either yoghurt or cheese stick and don't putting the cake in. My nearly 11 year old had tuna wrap with spinach, a packet of dried mango and a yoghurt today and I put a carrot in for the healthy snack. That seems to work. The fact that your DS is looking better for eating the lunch suggests you just need to cut back on wasted calories not the size of the sandwich!

sproketmx · 22/09/2015 22:26

Yeh my next one starts p1 next year and I don't think she'd eat that much. The boys are machines tho. Shovel it in then out to play. Same at tea time too. Shovel it in then out to play with their pals. Depends on the kid. Do they have sittings at his school? Like here p1 2 and 3 eat in the assembly hall then 4 5 6 and 7 get theirs

WorraLiberty · 22/09/2015 22:30

I genuinely couldn't eat as much as the OP's 7yr old and my nearly 13yr old and 16yr old wouldn't eat all that in the middle of the day either.

I know we're all different, but the OP's child is asking for less food and I think she should listen to him.

That doesn't sound like the words of a child who is going back to class, hungry after lunch.

DamnBamboo · 22/09/2015 22:43

Sandwich, 1 piece of fruit and a drink is all they need to keep them going until home time

Codswallop! And a ridiculous generalisation.

I have 3DS. All tall, lean kids. My 7 year old would not be full on that.
Breakfast at 7:30 and then just a sandwich and piece of fruit until later in the day?

DamnBamboo · 22/09/2015 22:46

Sandwich, drink and some sort of veg side!
Some dairy (small piece of cheese or a yoghurt), a piece of fruit and a small treat (chocolate finger etc).

This and reasonable variations thereof, in an active child with a balanced diet is a perfectly balanced lunch

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 22/09/2015 22:46

Is his fruit quick/easy to eat?
A small banana is pretty quick. A large, uncut apple could take all lunchtime.

Try varying his fruit. A handful of grapes? Some chopped strawberries?

Ditch the yoghurt. Too slow, unless its a frube thing.

He is doing well, ask him what his new favourites are.

If he has cheese in his sandwich, he won't need more cheese.

Try this one day

Two slice cheese and cucumber sandwich
Small pot of cut strawberries
Small flapjack
Frube

Juice box if allowed/bottle of water

WorraLiberty · 22/09/2015 23:00

DamnBamboo Well of course I'm generalising. I can hardly post the dietary requirements for every 7yr old in the UK.

But in general a light lunch is all that's needed if a child has eaten breakfast and will eat again after 3pm.

They're only at school for 6 or so hours. I don't see why an average 7yr old would be going back to class hungry after a sandwich (standard 2 slices of bread) and a piece of fruit.

DamnBamboo · 22/09/2015 23:15

I disagree completely Worra and 'in general' you are wrong.
Your opinion is clearly your own, but it is not to be confused with fact and saying that a sandwich and fruit is all that is needed is rather pointless as it won't apply to so many.

6 hours is a long time and small children are growing at a very high rate so their RMR is significantly higher than say yours or mine.

A healthy growing child will need more than your suggested lunch and none of my dietitians would say differently.

As a governor, I too am alarmed by some lunchboxes - quality more so than quantity though.

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