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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My DD opened the car door into a stationary car today.

87 replies

purplebaglady · 22/09/2015 03:01

I had just popped into the supermarket today with my two DC. My DD opened her car door into a vacant parked car next to us causing a small ding (size of a one pence piece). I didn't have a pen so we went into the shop. When we returned to the car a short time later to leave a note on the windscreen it had gone. As i had the children back in the car I drove home and immediately called the supermarket and reported it leaving my contact details. AIBU to think i have done all i can?

OP posts:

westcoastnortherneragain · 22/09/2015 03:04

You've done all you can, perhaps keep a pen and note pad in the car in future?

Bulbasaur · 22/09/2015 04:18

I wouldn't worry about it. It's just one of the hazards of parking in a parking lot. I've come back to my car with dings and scratches, it's just part of life.

I'd be doubtful if they even contact the store to figure out what happened.

Osolea · 22/09/2015 07:51

Yes, you've done all you can, your karma is safe!

I bumped a car in a car park once and did manage to leave a note. The man phoned me later and said he was so impressed with my honesty that he wouldn't dream of charging me anything!

MrsTedCrilly · 22/09/2015 07:56

You've done all you can! Bery honest OP They probably won't notice until later and won't know where it happened.

AyeAmarok · 22/09/2015 07:59

You should have taken a photo of the car's registration and tracked them down that way.

YABU.

I think if someone did that to you, you'd say that was a pretty poor excuse.

latebreakfast · 22/09/2015 08:03

YANBU

OneBreathAfterAnother · 22/09/2015 08:07

Did you take the cars registration number? Store it in your phone or take a photo?

You're going to get a range of opinions on how much it matters but you did damage someone's property, so it should be their choice to say it doesn't matter or seek a fix. If they can't contact you, you've taken away that choice.

FlopIsMyParentingGuru · 22/09/2015 08:11

You should report it to the police and today as there's a time limit. They have a central database of this information that insurers search for matching details if someone makes a claim.
Otherwise it's an offense I think

Lurkedforever1 · 22/09/2015 08:11

I think doing all you could would have been going to customer service first with the reg, so they could announce it on the tannoy, and/or borrowing a pen from staff to leave a note straight away.

jevoudrais · 22/09/2015 08:25

YABU. Not good enough. I won't sit here and say there there accidents happen. Might as well not have been an accident for all the owner knows. Basic moral conduct. No one will die, but that's not the point.

They probably drive to many places and won't think to call that supermarket they stopped off at on the way home on the off chance. They probably won't notice til they wash the car, and no, being small doesn't make it better.

Yes, this was an accident, but I don't think you did all you could to rectify it. You know you haven't else you wouldn't be having a battle with your conscience and posting on here. Your child has damaged someone else's property and they will probably never know you felt vaguely guilty and might have paid for it.

This is why I let children out the car in supermarkets etc. and also why, I don't park near cars with child seats in if avoidable. See, the whole parental population gets judged because of incidents like this. Most of my friends and family avoid parking near cars with child seats too.

whois · 22/09/2015 08:38

I'm somewhere between the two sides here. It's really bloody annoying when people damage your car and I don't think it's just 'something that happens when you park in a car park'. However in reality you did try to leave a note and most people wouldn't get a dent the size of a 1p piece fixed.

It was a very careless incident though and if your child can't be trusted to open car doors carefully she shouldn't be opening them herself. Child lock and you open the door for her. And I hope you told her off for being so careless.

Geoff0409 · 22/09/2015 08:45

I think you did all you can under the circumstances and have been very honest. YANBU in my opinion.

TwistyFyas · 22/09/2015 08:46

Dd done this in a car park when we were at gymnastics. It was a brand new car! I walked into the waiting room in gymnastics and sort of done a shout out to the owner of X car. Luckily she was sitting in front of me so saved me having to go round asking everyone I explained what had happened took her out to show her the damage and explained I'd sort it out. We swapped numbers.
I knew that even though it wasn't very big the area that would need repainting to blend in would cost a fortune - sure enough when I took the photo of it to the body shop it was around £600! It was almost Christmas and I was gutted.

Luckily when I text to ask when would be convent for her to take the car she said it really didn't matter, it was an accident and they were just grateful if owned up. I was so relieved especially when I found out her she was a policeman so could probably access the cctv for the area (had I not said anything). I bought her flowers, wine and chocs as a thank you for not making a big deal of it. Of course every time I took Dd to gym and saw the car I cringed

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 22/09/2015 08:46

and most people wouldn't get a dent the size of a 1p piece fixed.

To be fair - it depends on the car and the person, you can't really make such sweeping statements!

Someone let go of their trolley & put a dent in my car - it's the one that annoys me the most every time I see it, because it's the one they just ran away from.

If they'd have said or left a note I'd have said "no bother" though....

TwistyFyas · 22/09/2015 08:47

And yes, I think you done everything you could.

HeighHoghItsBacktoWorkIGo · 22/09/2015 08:47

This happens to my car all the time. No one ever leaves a note. I think it's inevitable in supermarket parking spaces. You made much more effort than most would. I'd forget about it now.

(This is why we should leave the parent child spaces free for people with children. The DC really do need a bit more space until they are more aware.)

Italiangreyhound · 22/09/2015 09:00

Yes, you have.

OneDay103 · 22/09/2015 09:00

i think as you've left your details, its fair enough.
You could have taken down details, so maybe next time keep some paper and a pen in the car.

BitOutOfPractice · 22/09/2015 09:11

The police will not be in the slightest bit interested - unless someone was injured. So the PP saying it's an offence not to report it to the police is wrong I'm afraid

BikeRunSki · 22/09/2015 09:13

I would have to get a dent the size of a 1p fixed. I drive a lease car, and that size of dent would need to be repaired at my expense before it goes back.

Devonicity · 22/09/2015 09:18

It's fine, and U would have done the same. I'm making a mental note to put paper and pen in the car now...

Devonicity · 22/09/2015 09:18

I, not U. Bloody autocorrect.

jorahmormont · 22/09/2015 09:18

I think you did all you could, YANBU. For some people, you'll never have done enough unless you took the registration and hired a private investigator to track the person down so that you can personally buff out the dent and send them endless bouquets of flowers and bottles of wine to apologise, as you are now forever in their debt.

peggyundercrackers · 22/09/2015 09:19

YABU - it was someone elses property you damaged. as someone up thread said you could have taken a note of the number, went into the store and asked them to make an announcement asking the owner to come out.

its absolutely infuriating that people think its ok to put a ding in a car door and walk away from it - it is not part of life - its not one of those things that happen - its being neglectful of other peoples property. p.s. no your karma Is not safe!

we got one fixed as it happened when my car was 1 week old - it cost us £738... not a small amount of money by any stretch of the imagination.

Atathania · 22/09/2015 09:24

A 1p piece? How hard was the car door opened?!

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