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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DD opened the car door into a stationary car today.

87 replies

purplebaglady · 22/09/2015 03:01

I had just popped into the supermarket today with my two DC. My DD opened her car door into a vacant parked car next to us causing a small ding (size of a one pence piece). I didn't have a pen so we went into the shop. When we returned to the car a short time later to leave a note on the windscreen it had gone. As i had the children back in the car I drove home and immediately called the supermarket and reported it leaving my contact details. AIBU to think i have done all i can? Sad

OP posts:
MissDuke · 22/09/2015 09:27

Op yanbu, you have done all you could. Children have scraped my car on their bikes before when it was parked outside my house and I would never dream of getting angry with them, everyone makes mistakes. I had someone hit my car once and they waited to tell me, they insisted on a mechanic friend replacing the door immediately and offered to then pay to respray it to the colour of my car which I refused - it would have cost more than the car was worth! I quite liked having a different coloured door in the end anyway Grin

Sparklingbrook · 22/09/2015 09:27

Threads like this always make me a bit Confused as if damage to cars is just a hazard of owning one and you should just suck it up.

I even now tell my two teens to be careful opening their doors when we are next to parked cars. We bought a new car and someone dinged the door the day we picked it up. Sad A huge vertical dent. No note left.

When you hire a car they go round it checking for stuff like that when you hand it back.

In the OP's scenario I think what they did was enough, it's not like they drove off unconcerned like many do.

ConfusedInBath · 22/09/2015 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bakeoffcake · 22/09/2015 09:33

The thing is, if the person reports the "damage" then you will have committed an offence by not leaving your details. There may be CCTV etc which will track you down. Leaving your name with the supermarket isn't enough, as the person might not think to go to them.

To make it all above board you need to report it to the police. Maybe phone 101 and ask their advice?

Bakeoffcake · 22/09/2015 09:35

And my BIL was prosecuted for doing exactly the same thing I a supermarket car park. He thought he was ok to just drive a way. He wasn't and ended up with a fine and points on his licence.

Every1KnowsJeffHesUsuallyACunt · 22/09/2015 09:38

Must be freezing up there on the moral high ground Hmm

Op, yanbu.

gonerogue · 22/09/2015 09:44

At least you tried to do something about it. A friend of mine told us at dinner one night how he reversed into a space and scratched the side of use car alongside him.
He then checked for cctv cameras and seeing none parked in the other section of the car park, Shock really changed my view of him because if the shoe had been on the other foot he would have been cursing the other drivers' carelessness.

YouBastardSockBalls · 22/09/2015 09:44

You should report it to the police and today

Grin Yes, and then ltb.

People do this kind of thing every day and don't leave details anywhere. Life's a bitch sometimes and there's no such thing as karma.

Just move on OP, shit happens.

SarfEast1cated · 22/09/2015 09:46

I think under the circumstances you did OK. You must have been flustered and not sure what to do for the best. I think leaving your information with the supermarket was pretty decent. You could always ask to see the CCTV footage and get the licence plate and track the owners down that way I guess?

tbtc20 · 22/09/2015 09:59

Outside my house there are 3 cars next to each other.
Mine, BMW, Audi

DS2 (6) sits on the side opening onto the BMW. He CANNOT open that door from the inside as I have child lock on. He knows not to open the door from the outside himself.

Interestingly, the BMW driver leaves a much bigger gap between him and the Audi than him and me, indicating to me that he is more nervous of Audi door being opened onto his car, than mine.

KevinAndMe · 22/09/2015 10:11

The thing is, if the person reports the "damage" then you will have committed an offence by not leaving your details.

Actually the OP will have done all she could do to leave her details and can prove that her intention WAS to leave her details.
She will have the CCTV showing her going back to shop and coming back with a pen and paper.
She will also have a record of her leaving her details to the shop just in case.
So I'm struggling to see how it could be an offense. It's not like she was in a 'hit and run' type of scenario.

Some people on this thread are very unrealistic on their expectations tbh.

Iusedtobeapenguin · 22/09/2015 10:12

Sorry but I don't think the size of the dent is relevant. We also had somebody do this to our car when it was nearly new and therefore spotless. The dent was really small but didn't stop it being really expensive to fix.

But you left your details with the shop, so at least you did something.

yeOldeTrout · 22/09/2015 10:12

I did this a lot when I was a kid. I mean, I dunno about the dent the size of 1p coin, but certainly plenty of contact. Live in minor terror of DC doing it.

DurhamDurham · 22/09/2015 10:12

You have done everything you can, I'd just leave it now if I were you.

OneBreathAfterAnother · 22/09/2015 10:13

TBT What do you drive?

Audi doors have sharp edges, they leave a nasty scratch.

You can't justify this by saying that it happens. It doesn't. My car is flawless, I'd like it to stay that way. I absolutely would fix any dents. It's the most valuable thing I own, as I rent, so I like keeping it in good condition, as I do the rest of my belongings.

If you're going to use the "stuff happens" argument, than everyone should know exactly what to do when it happens - and that's to take the license plate and ensure the person has some way to tell you themselves whether it's okay or not. You cannot make that decision for them.

yeOldeTrout · 22/09/2015 10:14

Come to think of it... 6 months ago I was sitting in our old banger (since scrapped) when some adults repeatedly banged their car door into my vehicle while trying to get in their car. (No I hadn't parked badly).

At least 5x they banged, while I watched .

That's twattery for you.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 22/09/2015 10:22

YANBU. You have left contact details, you have owned up the best you could at the time. In my experience, this is more than most people do.

I once had my whole door panel caved in whilst parked at Lidl - still absolutely no idea what happened but I can only assume that at the very least a full trolley rolled in to it at some speed. It could have been hit by a car but the offending car would have to have been at a very odd angle Confused. No one owned up, no message on my windscreen, no-one went in to the shop to report it, no note from anyone witnessing it (it was busy that day, there has to have been a witness) etc. etc. Had the person left their details in the shop I would have been grateful to them for their honesty.

I always park as far away from other cars as possible now to try and avoid a repeat - but obviously in lots of places that's just not possible.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 22/09/2015 10:25

And unless you memorised the registration plate of the vehicle, I can't see what on earth anyone expects the Police to do!

Starkswillriseagain · 22/09/2015 10:38

There's no much else you can do with that car OP. The owner may or may not notice or be worried to get it fixed, but if they are you've given them all the information. What you can do going forward is child-lock your DDs door, next time it could e a bigger dent and/or you could need to pay a lot out.

most people wouldn't get a dent the size of a 1p piece fixed

I disagree, it depends on the car and driver. I wouldn't bother if it was tiny, my car is an old banger anyway. My DH would have to, his car is leased and he's liable to fix any dents and dings before the end of three years so he would make sure the other person paid up.

tbtc20 · 22/09/2015 10:43

onebreath I drive a Peugeot.

DadDadDad · 22/09/2015 10:49

As petty as the law might seem, reading www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1988/52/section/170 it's pretty clear that an offence occurs if you damage someone's car in a public car park, AND don't provide your details to the owner, AND don't (as an alternative) provide your details to the police. (If you speak to the owner, you don't need to notify the police).

We may feel that a little ding like this should not face severe legal repercussions, and the police may well be uninterested, but that is the law.

And interestingly, I've read that case law suggests leaving a note on the windscreen is not sufficient, but I've no evidence for that one, and unless it was raining, I think it's reasonable.

DadDadDad · 22/09/2015 10:53

(I meant the law might seem petty in this case: obviously if you smash up someone's car and drive away, and then don't tell the police, you should certainly face legal consequences).

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 22/09/2015 10:56

Dear Christ there's some twats on here.

But you'd be pleased if they gave you their details after scratching your car wouldn't you??

Hypocrite.

millymae · 22/09/2015 11:01

Having had someone bash into the side of mine whilst it was parked up and drive away leaving lots of scratches and a huge dent I don't think you are being unreasonable - it was a genuine accident, not the result of bad driving on your part, unless of-course you're one of those awful drivers who drives a car too big for them and can't park within the lines. Plus you at least made some effort to leave a contact number. As to telling the police - really, I sometimes think some of the advice given on here is OTT

Does your car not have child locks OP?. If so it may be a good idea to use them as bangs like this would be less likely to happen.

Harvey000 · 22/09/2015 11:08

You've done enough.

Most people wouldn't have left their contact details in the store, so good on you.