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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have done this?

58 replies

IceCreamBandit · 20/09/2015 20:42

I had a lovely day out at the seaside today with my family. We'd bought fish and chips and were sitting on the sea front to eat them. There was a woman on the next bench who kept looking over and giving me funny looks. I didn't think much about it and finished my fish and chips. The funny-look woman went to her car, parked just along from the bench we were sitting on while I went for lemon tops (so we passed each other next to the car.)

She looked me up and down again and muttered something that I didn't catch, so I ignored her and went for ice cream.

Anyway, once I'd bought the ice cream I went back to the bench and handed them out, then sat down to enjoy mine. I'd had a few licks (ooh er!) when the other woman came marching over and told me I was disgusting for eating what I had, how dare I when I was already fat, and a few other things in that vein. (I know I'm fat- that's why I'm

I told her to fuck right off, of course and her husband pretty much dragged her away. The encounter put me right off my ice cream so I waiting until they were out of sight then went to her car and smeared it all over the window and under the door handles.

Now I've had chance to think about it, I feel like a bit of a shit but at the time it was very satisfying! Was it a really terrible thing to do?

OP posts:
verenti · 20/09/2015 21:06

The fish and chips/ice cream were within my allowed calories
Tell me about this diet - it sounds great!

Blackcloudsbrightsky · 20/09/2015 21:06

We are nine months into the year!

FarFromAnyRoad · 20/09/2015 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Backforthis · 20/09/2015 21:07

I don't know if this happened but that kind of stuff does^ happen.

Blackcloudsbrightsky · 20/09/2015 21:08

FarFrom

My friend weighed 23 stone.

I won't bother enlightening you with the maths ...

Backforthis · 20/09/2015 21:09

And a McDonald's can be eaten as part of a calorie controlled diet.

DoctorTwo · 20/09/2015 21:09

YWNBU in the slightest, she was a rude arsehole. And well fucking done on your weight loss. Just keep doing things your way and fuck those who criticise you.

ShadowLine · 20/09/2015 21:10

She was very, very rude to talk to you like that. What you eat is absolutely none of her business, regardless of your size.

But you've completely lost the moral high ground by smearing ice cream on her car (as well as wasting a perfectly good ice cream).

MissFitt68 · 20/09/2015 21:11

Well it's possible op has another 6 stone to lose

Original poster
IceCreamBandit · 20/09/2015 21:11

Well done Miaowroar! :D I'm not on any plan- I walk at least five miles a day and swim as often as I can so I'm using lots of calories. It was a half-lot with only half of the chips, and yes, they were lovely! (It works out at about 400 calories IIRC.)

I'm a firm believer that people should face consequences for their actions- I could have stood there and argued with her until I was blue in the face, and all it would have done was made me mad. It probably wasn't the right thing to do but there was no damage done to the car in the long run.

OP posts:
Backforthis · 20/09/2015 21:12

I'd have put some chips on her car under the windscreen wipers and let the gulls do the rest.

MotherOfFlagons · 20/09/2015 21:25

I would say that I am stunned that someone would actually approach a stranger and say these things. But I have a friend who is morbidly obese (not saying that I think ice cream is) and she constantly gets people giving her unwanted advice.

I was sort of a bit sceptical about it until one night we were out having dinner and a total stranger walked past our table and told her that she shouldn't be eating pizza as it would make her even more fat. I followed him outside and had a massive go at him but he genuinely didn't see what he'd said as wrong and thought he was being helpful. Jeez.

Original poster
IceCreamBandit · 20/09/2015 21:28

flanjabelle- by being very strict with what I eat and drink, and by exercising lots. No sugar, no junk food and lots of veg. I swim as much as I can- at least five times a week for an hour (burns about ~800 calories.) I walk at least five miles a day (easy done when you have two big active dogs!)

I used to be very fit and active but an injury and a bout of depression left me very fat (I'm ashamed to type the actual number, but it was in the low twenties!).

OP posts:
TimeToMuskUp · 20/09/2015 21:33

I'm shocked that another person's size and diet could possibly bother a complete stranger unless they were entirely unhinged.

Well done on the weight loss, and for not telling everyone "I used those diet shakes" because the way you're doing it is the best way; lifestyle changes. You're brilliant and that's that.

Original poster
IceCreamBandit · 20/09/2015 21:37

Aww, thank you! :) I didn't expect this thread to focus on my weight loss, but my ice cream rage!

OP posts:
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/09/2015 21:38

No, YWNBU. Well done on your weight loss so far. And well done for not ramming the cone up the rude bitch's nose Grin

miaowroar · 20/09/2015 21:39

IceCream - well done you, no need to be ashamed but proud. I only wish I was half as fit as you sound, but there is no way I am getting into a swimming costume - even if I had one!

Flagons I have often wondered why people like the man you spoke to imagine that just because someone is fat they must also be stupid as evidently they don't think they know they are fat. I have not been insulted this way in public, but I have been told that losing weight is easy - you just eat less. No shit Sherlock - but it can't be easy because I am really good at doing easy things. In fact, easy things are what I do best! Wink

I would have told him that my friend might be slim this time next year, but he will still be an arsehole.

Original poster
IceCreamBandit · 20/09/2015 21:41

Well, I still have a fair way to go and I'm easing off a bit- now I'm over the hump I'd rather take a bit longer to lose weight and have it stay off than try to rush to my goal weight and rebound. I am very very lucky to have a neighbour with a pool that I can use so I don't have to scare the public at large in a cossie!

OP posts:
Starkswillriseagain · 20/09/2015 21:46

She was a bitch. I wouldn't have wasted delicious ice-cream, I'd have had a shit on her windscreen. Well not seriously, but that's closer to what she deserves. Behave like a shit, get shit.

You've done fantastic on your weight loss, that alone is great but whether you are losing weight or not she should jog on.

MonicaBilongame · 20/09/2015 22:06

For future reference, in case this should ever happen again to anyone, the correct response is:

"I may be fat but I can do something about it. You're ugly - you're fucked!"

ToGrapefruit · 20/09/2015 22:10

You were not unreasonable OP. She bloody was though!!!

I've been there to, have been on receiving end of various judgemental and hurtful and rude comments from random people. Am currently losing weight, about 2 stone over the last 6 months. I have several more to go...

I include these examples for solidarity/ empathy reasons etc, but also to back up the people saying that these things DO happen. Particular gems include-

Person in hospital sandwich and food takeaway shop giving me patronising and hurtful weight loss critique and nutrition advice as I bought high fat snacks and tasty treats for my very ill mum who's incredibly underweight...

group of about 6 young men, walking through a very busy city centre as I was eating some delicious but highly calorific snack while very pregnant, that was a good one, involving drunken advice to me and rude, aggressive comments to my DH advising him to stop me eating so much...

horrendous advice and onslaught of opinions from a poisonous couple in the NHS dieticians waiting room, that one reduced me to tears before the also fairly dreadful appointment...

A long and completely unsolicited and deranged bit of advice in a theatre, during an interval, from a 'concerned' caring type of lady (actually, she was genuinely trying to be nice, but it was humiliating and annoying beyond belief, and she was totally mad), about how I'd never be anything other than a character actress due to my excess weight, and how I should lose it etc. I was a member of the audience at the time, not an actor!!!

I could go on! But won't. Boring and depressing.

You impress me OP! Grin

Starkswillriseagain · 20/09/2015 22:11

You're ugly - you're fucked!"

On behalf of ugly people (of which i am one) can we use 'you've got the personality of a cunt, get fucked' instead?

WannabeLaraCroft · 20/09/2015 22:25

Icecream fucking hell what a horrible situation! That woman was obviously being a complete twit. I like your revenge idea, but also agree with someone up the thread a bit - waste of ice cream! Wink

I honestly don't understand how people can be so nasty. What goes through their minds to think they have the right to actually go up to someone and say things like this?

And a huge fucking well done on your weight loss. You can never tell just by looking at someone what kind of journey they are having in life, what they're going through or feeling. Yes we all make snap judgements but thankfully most of us are reasonable people and not fucking idiots like the cow you dealt with!

Good on you pp, and good luck Flowers

WannabeLaraCroft · 20/09/2015 22:25

*op

Whereyourtreasureis · 20/09/2015 22:40

What Minecraft and Inklewinkle said.