My daughter has just become engaged.

[Lirael66]

My daughter has just become engaged. I am very happy for her and her fiancé. My family have congratulated them and us as the parents of the bride to be. My In laws have congratulated my daughter and my husband by text and telephone calls, however they have completely snubbed me. I actually feel quite hurt, I know they dislike me, but this feels awful its more than dislike, it's disrespectful. Am I just too sensitive? after all it's my daughter that is the important one and they do love her.

Do you expect people to call you to say 'happy birthday' on your daughter's birthday or send you a 'well done you've passed card' when she took her driving test. Equally does the celebrating by proxy thing cut both ways? does she get a card from you on mother's day?

I think you are being a bit self obsessed and should stop trying to manufacture a drama on an occasion that should be all about your daughter and her fiancé.

Er, when my daughter and son in law got engaged his mum sent me a lovely little card saying how pleased she and her husband were, how fond they are of DD and how much they were looking forward to meeting us all again. Which was really sweet of her and made me feel pathetic because it hadn't occurred to me to send similar. Just a hint, if the ettyquetty of the occasion bothers you.

I wouldn't text a couple separately to congratulate them on something.

You learn something every day. I thought it was only the couple that were congratulated. Certainly never heard of it before. Contratulations to your dd and future husband op. X

Why would one set of parents in law congratulate the other? That's weird. I would not expect it.

We did arrange a couple of meals so the parents in law could meet before the wedding and that was a nice thing to do.

It's not in laws congratulating in laws, it's the OP's in laws congratulating her.

So it would be like my in laws congratulating me if one of my dc got engaged. Which makes no sense at all.

Fluffy , yes my DM would indeed be 105 were she still alive but sadly she is not. I should have made that clear but thanks for the congratulations and flowers.
Nevertheless I still remember many of her pronouncements on random topics, like this one, and often they make sense.