To not want to share my bed with a giant spider!

[onlyoranges]

Night 3 he has appeared! He is massive, big chunky body, very think long legs. My dh is away on business and don't know if it's that but it's starting to freak me out. I was up and after I him glimpsed him but he had run under a pillow thought I had him but he disappeared again!! What am I going to do? Has he set up home in my bed? He always shows himself around now. Shaken all the pillows and the duvet and have sprayed the bed with perfume??? Thought the smell might put him off. Help! Help! I do not want to share a bed with this enormous thing.

I once saw a hairy bastard scuttle under my bed

I was terrified and slathered lemon body butter all over my headboard and round the bottom of the duvet cos I heard they didn't like the smell of citrus...

Not sure if it worked but I didn't see it again

Oh I have never heard that about citrus. Will try it.

I would have had to go to a hotel.

Sleep in spare room/bath/kitchen floor/car?
Anywhere other than the bed!

I would be sleeping in the car rather than sharing my bedroom with such an eight-legged fucker.

I hate it when they disappear and you have no idea where they have gone. It makes my skin crawl all over.

LTB (the spider not your husband). I'd be Premier Inn-ing it until return of DH.

... or ring 999 101 (I double dare you!)

OMG! OMG! He is here!! I can't take much more of this!!!!

Like the post about PM incidentally!

How does he know what time it is???????

Awwwww. He luffs you.

I'd be worried about when you don't see him any more (ya' now, coz you might have swallowed him?)

I can understand you freaking out - they can be palm-sized. It's probably a Wolf spider and look frightening but are quite harmless. They're a good sign that your house is warm and dry and well-looked after. And they're more afraid of you than you are of them. Ours come up in the evening from the cellar, looking for mites and other undesirables. DW puts them under a glass for me to throw them out, but the just come back the next evening.

I've just watched a huge spider walking down the stairs. Not sure where he went afterwards.
But they eat flies and I hate flies. So it's not all bad.
But I really don't like them walking over me when I'm in bed!

Ok so what the actual fuck is going on here??? I suspect that the spiders are targeting lone mumsnetters - these monsters arrived in the bath within a couple of hours of DH heading off to visit friends for the weekend. The big one, who I believe to be the ringleader, is easily bigger than the plughole.

That is most definitely a case of burn the house down and run! I'd have been out of the door by now, it's bad enough seeing the photo!

Do I have time to take out some shit-hot house insurance or should I just take what I can carry and cut my losses??

What the FUCK Grand. You have a spider army!

God why did I read this thread. I'm in bed with DD and her toes flicking at my thigh keeps making me think I have a spider in bed with me

grand

It is the ones that didn't get stuck in the bath that I am concerned about...

Scope them into a pint glass and evict the nuggets!

Oh my God! Grand that is an invasion. jane 'don't really like' being walked over in bed!!!! Argh.

The cats tail just touched my shoulder and I jumped up screaming and hitting myself while running about.

Hotel or burn the house down. Only two options I'm afraid

Grand. Hairspray. It is your friend. I don't care if I am evil, heartless and destined for Hell. It is the only way.

How do they get in the bath in the first place? I thought all that plug hole nonsense was a myth? And why are there so MANY of them. Grand, what have you done??