To not want to share my bed with a giant spider!

[onlyoranges]

Night 3 he has appeared! He is massive, big chunky body, very think long legs. My dh is away on business and don't know if it's that but it's starting to freak me out. I was up and after I him glimpsed him but he had run under a pillow thought I had him but he disappeared again!! What am I going to do? Has he set up home in my bed? He always shows himself around now. Shaken all the pillows and the duvet and have sprayed the bed with perfume??? Thought the smell might put him off. Help! Help! I do not want to share a bed with this enormous thing.

Apparently it is mating season. You need to let him know that you are very anti extra marital relations.

Let him down gently though, no need to hurt his feelings eh?

There will be an even bigger lady spider under the bed that he is trying to get to...

I'm sorry, WTAF is all this about SPIDERS being in BEDS?
My mother promised me when I was 5yrs old that spiders HATE beds and would never go into mine!

If George is as big as you say, then it's more likely that George is Georgina. We've had the males running around for a few weeks, but I saw the first female on the move this evening.

My ex-flatmate woke up in bed with a spider in his mouth.

He was not amused.

I had one run along the kitchen floor at me the other day. That big I could hear it's feet tapping on the flooring.

Anyone else now not going to be able to sleep tonight?

I thought they were more scared of us than we are of them? Somewhere is there a lady spider asking 'AIBU my dsh (darling spider husband) keeps finding a human woman in his bed. Should we burn our web down? '.

That quilt cover is terrifying. Sorry op I've been no help. A spider catching device? Conkers in the bedroom? A cat? Or burn the house down x

KingJoffrey - I thought all those stories were urban myths?

Nah, this happened.

Didn't see the 'event' but witnessed the 'aftermath'. Lots of squealing, sheet changing and mouthwash.

Kill them.

Kill them all.

No surrender.

It'll be a male looking for a female. He's obviously settled for you

Is anyone else quite touched by the romance?

Have to at least admire his persistence

I wouldn't worry. You'll probably end up eating it while you sleep!

If ask for this to be moved to relationships, op.

Aww this is sweet and horrifying

Coax it into the bathroom, corner it, and squirt bleach over it!

Ah nooooo, not the bleach that's mean. If you can, just catch him in asaucepan with a lid and evict him from the premises x

And then dispose of the saucepan...

Op, I've found him a more suitable girlfriend. She's slim with legs up to her armpits. If you could pick her up to go and be with him, asap, that would be great. Until then I'm hiding in the dining room.

YADNBU burn down your house and start again

I was bitten by a house spider in England and it has left a scar. Will post a picture if you want to see. Kill it and you'll sleep much better!!

This has really made me laugh but then it's daylight. Searched high and low for him this morning. Nowhere to be seen. I am very worried about later!! He won't appear again tonight will he? Can they tell the time??

All he wants is a ((((((((((((((((Hug))))))))))))))))

You SLEPT???

You, love, are fucking nails. Oranges for PM.

He may give you a lovely surprise by appearing where you least expect him: