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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to refuse to pay for a cancelled hotel room six months away at a family wedding I can no longer attend?

94 replies

Hainesy123 · 18/09/2015 09:29

Earlier this year my DHs brother announced he is getting married in Thailand next April. We are dairy farmers and this is our busiest time of year with calving, so despite being a bit put out that there was no prior discussion about dates (they live in Hong Kong and we specially arranged our wedding last year so they could go to another wedding in the same fortnight), we decided to find a way to get there, as DH is really close to his brother. However, we have since found out we are having a baby and the wedding day is the due date! We let them know we would no longer be able to go, and although disappointed they seemed understanding. However, we have now been told we have to pay £100 cancellation fee for the hotel! I think this is out of order as the wedding is still six months away and they should be able to re sell the room. Also, it was their choice to book out the rooms so far in advance - there is always a chance people are going to have to cancel. I'm happy to contact the hotel myself and explain why I won't pay, but I'm really irritated by the whole situation. If it was up to DH he would just pay for a quiet life...

OP posts:

hibbleddible · 23/09/2015 20:05

I think this is between yourselves and the hotel. If a cancellation fee is in the t&c s then you have to pay.

£100 isn't a huge loss, and I'm sure you are saving a fortune when you consider how much it would have cost you to attend.

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 20:14

Three points:

An LLB is a law degree - it's a BA in law. An LLM is a Masters.
It isn't Thailand, actually. The OP states it's Hong Kong.
The comment of mine to which you responded so very definitely was: I think a lot of posters are assuming the law is the same in overseas hotels and there wouldn't be a cancellation fee unless the BIL booked a non-refundable rate. Don't think that is so. You said, There is no law about hotels! Blimey people you're easy to get money out of You are now contradicting yourself completely, and actually conceding my own statement - the one you took issue with it the start - by saying you seem to be forgetting a) this is in Thailand- what are the consequences? What is the likelihood of these consequences occurring? And b) curious to know why you think Op hasn't mitigated the circumstances or why it matters when her BIL is the one who booked the rooms?

I am not the one demonstrating forgetfulness in this exchange. I already stated that the different jurisdiction meant the assumption that English law applied was very faulty, IMO.

In answer to the second question, you misunderstand the concept of duty to mitigate loss. It's the duty placed upon an innocent party in a breach of contract (so here, a hotel would be that party) to mitigate their own loss, and thus the breaching party's liability.

Look, it doesn't actually matter, anyway. It's a minor issue on a MN thread: who is right and wrong is trivial. What does matter is that you chose to respond so rudely; that you had no clue on the topic just makes it worse. It's the bad manners, not the lack of knowledge, I take issue with (Lord knows I am totally ignorant on a swathe of areas myself, and actually a contract lawyer would wipe the floor with me in seconds, as my understanding is undergrad level at best). But I would certainly hope never to be that rude without cause or provocation.

Ill manners when someone is contributing something really valuable isn't ideal, but ill manners from a position of total ignorance is really unfortunate.

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 20:18

hibbleddible I don't think the OP has any contract with the hotel? The BIL booked and paid, so he's the one who has a contract with them, I think.

I still think it comes down to whether she knew he was doing so, in which case she agreed to it, and he shouldn't be lumbered. If she had no clue, and he took it upon himself, then that's a different matter.

I also think that given the OP says her DH is very close to his BIL, and it's a relatively trivial sum of money, it's probably wisest just to let it go. If a family schism starts over £100, then even if they do get it, it'll be a pretty Pyrrhic victory, surely?

Thelushinthepub · 23/09/2015 20:34

What the actual fuck are you on about? I haven't noticed you at all until your patronising response about contract law from your a level you have no idea whether there is a contract or what is in it if there is. That is my point, and my point about "hotel law"
was in response to all the posters saying "legally you have to pay" - that is shit. I haven't noticed your posts before and am
Glad that's the case because they're really irritating.

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 21:03

Contracts are formed by offer, acceptance, and consideration. They don't need to be written down. There's a contract. Just, you know. FYI.

00100001 · 23/09/2015 21:44

if it's only £100 hibble - why not give £100 to OP?

hibbleddible · 24/09/2015 08:36

001 because I haven't cancelled a holiday!

It is perfectly normal to expect a financial penalty when cancelling a holiday, and in this case the penalty is very small with regards to the total cost.

hellsbellsmelons · 24/09/2015 08:49

I think that's crazy.
Could you go on line and check their T&Cs?
I book hotels all the time and cancellation is usually the day before or more often than not, on the actual day.
As this is a holiday destination I would expect it to be slightly longer but 6 months is plenty of notice of cancellation.
I would not be paying. Not a chance.

PressTheAButton · 24/09/2015 09:02

I'd pay if I were you.

00100001 · 24/09/2015 09:03

But to say it's "only" £100 is not fair. £100 is a lot of money to lose out on when the hotel will suffer no loss from this.

ClaudiaNaughton · 24/09/2015 09:11

I'd pay with good grace. The £100 will be remembered forever if you don't. Think how much you're saving by not going. I'd try the hotel first though.

Lweji · 24/09/2015 09:23

I hope the OP has sorted it out. :)

toucantoucan · 24/09/2015 09:23

ClaudiaNaughton has summed it up perfectly:

I'd pay with good grace. The £100 will be remembered forever if you don't. Think how much you're saving by not going. I'd try the hotel first though.

The Ts&Cs and legalities are neither here nor there, the real issue is surely avoiding a family row over a relatively small sum compared to what you would presumably spent on flights etc etc.

toucantoucan · 24/09/2015 09:25

Oh, and I really wouldn't try approaching the hotel - the arrangements are all in your BILs hands and the potential for confusion/cock-up if you try to wade in are endless. With potential language barriers at play you could even end up inadvertently cancelling the whole thing!!

Bottlecap · 24/09/2015 09:35

I'd be surprised if you can't cancel this far in advance.

If the hotel stands firm on the basis of T&Cs, in no circumstance should you get your BIL involved in selling the room along to someone else. Just pay it.

Beeswax2017 · 24/09/2015 09:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfHands · 24/09/2015 09:59

DH's best friend is a solicitor specialising in contract law.

He says "chill out ffs".

Etak15 · 24/09/2015 10:02

Have you checked directly with the hotel, I think your bil might just be saying this because they are annoyed at you not going! Most hotels worldwide you can cancel up to 24hrs before arrival, I think you should contact the hotel yourself.

ClaudiaNaughton · 24/09/2015 10:17

Hadn't spotted it was in Thailand. Wouldn't contact hotel in that case. Congratulations by the way.

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