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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse to pay for a cancelled hotel room six months away at a family wedding I can no longer attend?

94 replies

Hainesy123 · 18/09/2015 09:29

Earlier this year my DHs brother announced he is getting married in Thailand next April. We are dairy farmers and this is our busiest time of year with calving, so despite being a bit put out that there was no prior discussion about dates (they live in Hong Kong and we specially arranged our wedding last year so they could go to another wedding in the same fortnight), we decided to find a way to get there, as DH is really close to his brother. However, we have since found out we are having a baby and the wedding day is the due date! We let them know we would no longer be able to go, and although disappointed they seemed understanding. However, we have now been told we have to pay £100 cancellation fee for the hotel! I think this is out of order as the wedding is still six months away and they should be able to re sell the room. Also, it was their choice to book out the rooms so far in advance - there is always a chance people are going to have to cancel. I'm happy to contact the hotel myself and explain why I won't pay, but I'm really irritated by the whole situation. If it was up to DH he would just pay for a quiet life...

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 22/09/2015 20:05

You have to pay

YABU

AlpacaLypse · 22/09/2015 20:08

I really don't think an hotel in Thailand will have any difficulty whatsoever in reselling a room, or suite, or apartment, in the next six months. YANBU.

kali110 · 22/09/2015 20:11

Ofcourse you pay!
Doesn't matter if it's 6 months in advance, i wonder how many people they have turned down?
You have to pay.

Doesn't matter if you want to contact the hotel to tell them why you won't pay, if bil paid then the the hotel will chase him not you!

Orangeisthenewbanana · 22/09/2015 20:14

Sorry, haven't rtft but have you got holiday insurance? Are you having to cancel flights etc as well? If so, insurance should cover it anyway!

CookieMonsterIsOnADiet · 22/09/2015 20:29

Of course you should pay, why should they be out of pocket as you have changed your mind.

I imagine your DH is upset enough at missing his brothers wedding without you causing a fuss over costs.

SwedishEdith · 22/09/2015 20:36

No way would I just pay up. 6 months is aaaaaaagggges away.

Thelushinthepub · 22/09/2015 21:33

bearbehind:

When you book hotels you can generally book a non-cancellable pre pay deposit or full balance rate which is cheaper or you book a cancel able flexible rate which costs more in the end.

I stay in hotels fairly frequently and have only ever encountered this in budget hotels like premier inn.

I'll bet the OPs situation is nothing like this anyway- the BIL has had to guarantee booking of a certain number of rooms to either book the wedding venue or get it at a better rate. A friend has had to stay in the wedding hotel for another Thai wedding (co-incidentally) when although she did want to go, she wanted to stay in a cheaper hotel of her choosing. This is also quite common in the UK for hotel weddings

I don't see why the OP would have holiday insurance- she didn't even have a holiday, just accepted a wedding invitation she now can't attend. The BIL took this as them coming and booked them one of his allocated rooms.

Orangeisthenewbanana · 22/09/2015 22:21

You sometimes have holiday insurance through bank accounts etc, or take out an annual policy if you travel a lot. She didn't have to specifically take it out for this trip.

BackforGood · 22/09/2015 22:29

YANBU at all - like most people are saying, a half decent hotel will be able to re-book the room. As you say, it's 6 months away, not 6 days (and they might even then).
If it's some kind of exclusive booking for the wedding, then presumably there are other (more local) wedding guests who didn't make the first round of selection that might want to stay over at the venue.

Thelushinthepub · 22/09/2015 22:34

Yes I know about annual/ bank insurance but surely you have to have a holiday booked to claim against it? But just accept a wedding invitation abroad?

Thelushinthepub · 22/09/2015 22:34

*not just accept a wedding invitation abroad

MargaretRiver · 22/09/2015 22:39

I would expect a hotel in Thailand to charge in Baht if locally-run, or in US$ if an international chain

So the deposit converted into £ would not be a nice round £100

Something odd here

wickedwaterwitch · 22/09/2015 22:47

YANBU

But I rarely book unless I can cancel, which often means paying more.

So BIL is BU Imo unless he said to you "I'm booking, there's no cancellation, it'll be £100 if you do cancel, is that ok?' And you said "yes"

If he didn't then you should not have to pay Imo

FishWithABicycle · 22/09/2015 23:13

You didn't agree to a non-refundable contract. I don't think you should have to pay.

When I booked out a dozen hotel rooms for guests coming to a party, using my credit card and paying an eye-watering amount, I chose the higher rate that meant I could cancel any or all of the rooms up till 3pm on day of arrival because anything can happen even when people have every intention of coming. Your BIL made the choice, took the risk and agreed to the commitment. He doesn't get to pass on the cost. £100 will be a teeny tiny drop in the ocean of their wedding expenses. They will barely notice it.

sleeponeday · 22/09/2015 23:14

Did you know he was booking accommodation, and the cost of it? If so, then I'm afraid I think you should pay. Your pregnancy is neither here nor there - he booked at your sayso, so why should he pay now?

If he just took it upon himself to book, and is now expecting you to meet the bill of cancelling, then no I don't - overseas weddings mean you realise guests may be on tight budgets, and may need to make their own hotel arrangements.

sleeponeday · 22/09/2015 23:15

I think a lot of posters are assuming the law is the same in overseas hotels and there wouldn't be a cancellation fee unless the BIL booked a non-refundable rate. Don't think that is so.

Thelushinthepub · 23/09/2015 07:25

There is no law about hotels! Blimey people you're easy to get money out of

Marynary · 23/09/2015 08:38

Did you say that you were definitely going? Did he warn you before he booked that it was non refundable and check that this was okay with you? If not then you shouldn't have to pay. I might do in your situation though just for the peace.

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 18:51

There is no law about hotels! Blimey people you're easy to get money out of

There are laws about contracts, which is what you have with a hotel. Or so my contract law course taught me. HTH.

Thelushinthepub · 23/09/2015 19:41

LOL. You can put anything in a contract sleeponeday. All you have to worry about is whether the terms are legally enforceable. HTH

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 19:45

Uh huh. So not familiar with the duty to mitigate loss, then? Applicable to all contracts, unless terms are intentionally far more generous so as to throw the risk back upon the other contracting party? No?

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 19:46

Incidentally, where did you get your law degree? I mean, seeing as you have such expertise on the area?

Thelushinthepub · 23/09/2015 19:47

Classic case of a little bit of knowledge being dangerous

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 19:49

I have an LLB and LLM from Cambridge, actually. My second LLM was obtained overseas. On a national scholarship.

Please, go on. I've got a fretful baby, and the amusement is welcome.

Thelushinthepub · 23/09/2015 19:50

I don't need a law degree. Obviously being so high powered you won't have done one either- but something high achieving and academic followed by law school Wink

Anyway, you seem to be forgetting a) this is in Thailand- what are the consequences? What is the likelihood of these consequences occurring?
And b) curious to know why you think Op hasn't mitigated the circumstances or why it matters when her BIL is the one who booked the rooms?