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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to refuse to pay for a cancelled hotel room six months away at a family wedding I can no longer attend?

94 replies

Hainesy123 · 18/09/2015 09:29

Earlier this year my DHs brother announced he is getting married in Thailand next April. We are dairy farmers and this is our busiest time of year with calving, so despite being a bit put out that there was no prior discussion about dates (they live in Hong Kong and we specially arranged our wedding last year so they could go to another wedding in the same fortnight), we decided to find a way to get there, as DH is really close to his brother. However, we have since found out we are having a baby and the wedding day is the due date! We let them know we would no longer be able to go, and although disappointed they seemed understanding. However, we have now been told we have to pay £100 cancellation fee for the hotel! I think this is out of order as the wedding is still six months away and they should be able to re sell the room. Also, it was their choice to book out the rooms so far in advance - there is always a chance people are going to have to cancel. I'm happy to contact the hotel myself and explain why I won't pay, but I'm really irritated by the whole situation. If it was up to DH he would just pay for a quiet life...

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 18/09/2015 10:40

that does seem quite unfair of the hotel; they can easily resell the room in that time.

I'd call the hotel. It's six months away not six hours. How the hell would 6onths be too short notice

When you book hotels you can generally book a non-cancellable pre pay deposit or full balance rate which is cheaper or you book a cancel able flexible rate which costs more in the end.

If you chose the prepay rate and then cancel its tough shit basically- time until the booking isn't relevant- the hotel will probably resell the room but that doesn't mean you don't pay the cancellation fee you agreed to when you booked that rate.

why not tell the brother to resell the room

Who would he be likely to sell them to? Its unlikely anyway will suddenly decide they are going to attend a wedding on the other side if the world at short notice.

Bearbehind · 18/09/2015 10:41

Anyone not anyway

MatildaTheCat · 18/09/2015 10:43

Definitely email the hotel and explain. High chance they will waive the fee.

Congratulations.

00100001 · 18/09/2015 11:27

I'd complain bitterly about having to pay and refuse.

All these people telling you to "suck it up" I don't see them offering to give £100! £100 is a lot of money!

I had to cancel a CentreParcs holiday 3 hours after booking it as I realised I'd got the dates wrong. This holiday was for 15 months time, they initially refuses to refund and insisted on me paying the deposit.

I emailed the MD guy and said it was utterly ridiculous that I was being punished for a genuine mistake and that they had done no administration, suffered no loss and had over a year to fill that space. I did point out that if I was giving 15 days notice, then fine, I could see their problem, but they had no way of saying they lost custom due to this.

Take it higher!

Mistigri · 18/09/2015 11:30

Whose name was the booking in? Technically, the person who booked the room will be liable...

Arabidopsis · 18/09/2015 11:37

I'm not clear about whether you were consulted about the hotel booking or not? Makes a difference, imo.

sparechange · 18/09/2015 11:41

Have you got travel insurance? If so, you could pay up and then claim it back?

lorelei9 · 18/09/2015 12:37

I find this a bit strange

when he booked the rooms, he should have checked with people that they were okay with any cancellation costs.

if you are telling us that you knew what the cancellation costs were and went along with it, or told him to book a room for you and didn't bother to find out what the costs were then YABU.

But if you had no idea that he'd even booked your room at that point, then it's different. More facts needed in order to make a judgement.

Leelu6 · 22/09/2015 17:31

YANBU. You can't attend the wedding for a very good reason, you haven't simply changed your mind. Did BIL confirm what dates they were booking hotel for and how much it would cost? Why didn't they book rooms on a flexible rate which would allow them to cancel the booking?

Have you called the hotel to explain the circumstances and asked if they would waive the fee in light of the circumstances?

If the hotel insists on the cancellation payment and the BIL did confirm dates/cost with you, I would pay the £100 but then not send a wedding present.

whois · 22/09/2015 18:16

I'd call the hotel. it's six months away not six hours. how the hell would 6onths be too short a notice.

I'd be very surprised if the would he a fee to pay this early on

^^THIS!!!

lalalonglegs · 22/09/2015 18:21

Has your BIL booked the whole hotel for the wedding and therefore will be unlikely to sell the room back to the hotel?

chickindude · 22/09/2015 18:24

YABU
I imagine your BIL had to pay a deposit for the room, why should he loose out?
If the hotel can re-book the room they might waver the fee ( minus admin charges) if they can't re-book then it is only fair you pay up.

Thelushinthepub · 22/09/2015 18:27

If it were the hotel direct- yanbu. It always makes me smile when people say "it's in the Ts & Cs!" As if that's the end of it. Live and die by the Ts&Cs Grin it's in Thailand, who gives a shit what's in the Ts&Cs?

Also you should be aware lots of company put things in their Ts&Cs which are not legally enforceable. Don't fall for it.

BUT, in your case, if BIL was the one losing the £100 I think I'd have to pay up, sorry. I couldn't see family out of pocket. I'd ask him to try and resell though.

NewLife4Me · 22/09/2015 18:36

I too would call the hotel and check their t&c.

revealall · 22/09/2015 18:50

Bollocks to that. A venue deposit is one thing but rooms in a hotel are different.
If your brother has paid up front then it's paid surely? How much were you expecting to pay towards the holiday out there.

MamaLazarou · 22/09/2015 18:55

YANBU- were you aware of the hotel's cancellation policy when you booked? Or was the room booked by your BIL on your behalf? Surely they have plenty of time to invite someone else in your place.

Fluffycloudland77 · 22/09/2015 19:02

I'd be on the hotels website looking for a cancellation fee. I've never had to pay one that far in advance.

Unless they pre-booked you all in advance to get a discount....

Bulbasaur · 22/09/2015 19:10

If it's a group package where everyone's room is individually cheaper, yes there will be a cancellation fee because the hotel is making money by selling for cheaper in bulk vs. individually at full price. It's how they keep profits.

Sometimes life happens and you have to do things you don't want to. It's all part of being an adult I'm afraid.

jay55 · 22/09/2015 19:30

£100 seems like a lot for a hotel in Thailand if its's a one night cancellation fee.

Can they really not get someone else to take the room? Anyone already going sharing more people to their room than they'd like who might take it from you at a reduced rate so you get something back.

IsItMeOr · 22/09/2015 19:38

YABU if this is a cost that your BIL has incurred.

As others have said, take it up with the hotel direct if you want to try to persuade them not to make the charge.

But your BIL should not be out of pocket because you changed your plans due to pregnancy.

The bit about them not having checked the date with you first seems irrelevant to me. But I wonder if you are still annoyed by this and want to "punish" them by making them pay rather than you.

Congratulations on the baby btw :)

Viviennemary · 22/09/2015 19:48

If you knew the dates and knew the room was going to be booked then I'd say you should pay for the cancellation. If you didn't agree to the booking then you have a case not to pay up. I think it's a bit mean of the hotel charging such a large fee when the cancellation was made so far in advance.

Lweji · 22/09/2015 19:57

If you didn't book it yourself and there was a cancellation charge, then you should have been informed of it. How were you going to pay for it and how was it booked? Did your BIL pay to book it?

Autumnnights1 · 22/09/2015 20:02

6 months in advance! of course you arent being unreasonable at all.

ForChina · 22/09/2015 20:04

Sounds like your BIL just wants you to pay for the actual room as he has booked out a set of rooms for guests and hasn't got anyone else to fill it. NOt your problem. No way would I pay.

LieselVonTwat · 22/09/2015 20:04

I don't understand why so many people have decided YABU when we don't even know whose idea this booking was, who made it, when, and whether you were given any choice in the matter.