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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In saying that my house is not a public loo for people on the local Jumble Trail

108 replies

MercedesDR · 16/09/2015 19:27

Sold a few things outside for a local Jumble Trail which was a lot of fun and I made a bit of money too. What I didn't like was being asked by a few people if they or their child could use my loo. My reply was that my home is not a public convenience! Well perhaps I was a bit more polite than that in making my point, but I will not allow anyone I don't know in my house.

Was it unreasonable to direct them to a nearby cafe?

OP posts:

Pennybun4 · 17/09/2015 08:10

She was the Vicar's wife so into caring sharing with all. My sister babysat for them making it quite clear she was doing it was to raise cash to see her through college and was given a box of chocolates instead.

colley · 17/09/2015 08:10

Up to you, but you do sound uptight.
And adults with certain disabilities can't just plan better if they really need the toilet. However many of them simply don't go out unless to a building with a toilet in it because of this.

ginslinger · 17/09/2015 08:11

Someone came and slept in all our beds and then ate the porridge.

Pennybun4 · 17/09/2015 08:11

Love the idea of your Jumble Trail though, might think about something like that round my way.

Original poster

MercedesDR · 17/09/2015 08:13

Pennybun have a look at the website - you can start one.

OP posts:

colley · 17/09/2015 08:15

And most cafes will not let you use their toilets without buying drinks or food from them.
There is a real lack of public toilets.

Pennybun4 · 17/09/2015 08:16

Can you do food? Was thinking egg sandwiches.

Original poster

MercedesDR · 17/09/2015 08:18

Yes you do food. I made jam and stuff and sold it all. Made forty quid.

OP posts:

hattyhatter · 17/09/2015 08:20

In all the years I've done it I've never asked anyone to use their loo. If the offer is made and I do need to go, I'll accept. But I'd never ask in a stranger's house, I find a pub or cafe and buy a drink.

You mean clients just offer you use of their loo? Just in case?

SoupDragon · 17/09/2015 08:20

Why are you asking if you are being unreasonable when clearly you don't think you are?

Original poster

MercedesDR · 17/09/2015 08:20

Yes they do but not often.

OP posts:

hattyhatter · 17/09/2015 08:21

Oh my word. Watch they don't spit on a tissue and wipe your face

Original poster

MercedesDR · 17/09/2015 08:22

That last was for HarryHatter.

OP posts:

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 17/09/2015 08:27

I also think its mean not to let a smallish child especially use your loo, especially if they've just bought some of your old rubbish for cash!

Healthy looking adults I'd think its a bit cheeky to ask especially if they haven't bought anything - though of course you never know if they have problems meaning they have to go to the loo promptly when they need to, which must be massively limiting!

The fact your toilet is upstairs makes it more understandable that you want to say no, but people presumably don't know you don't have a downstairs loo when they ask.

I live by a playground and let kids use my loo a few times a week, would never say no to a child under 10... tbh I wouldn't say no to a teen either as long as I vaguely knew them, but absolutely think its properly antisocial and unpleasant to say no to a preschooler... I do know most of them though (if they're not the same age as my kids I don't always know them well, but well enough to know the child's first name). We sometimes sell stuff on a local selling site and always let people us our loo if they ask when they come to pick stuff up - it never crosses my mind there's anything odd about asking (we are a drive from anywhere and I can't think of any public toilets nearer than half an hour's drive away though).

tigermoth · 17/09/2015 08:57

I think it's totally reasonable not to want strangers entering your house, unless very old/young/ in an emergency.

However, a jumble trail is an event - it is publicised as an event - so it is reasonable for people attending the event to expect be able to go to the loo somewhere. As jumbletrails are publicised online, people could have travelled long distances to get there.

It's good that you were able to direct them to the nearest public loo. The event organisers need to be clear in advance what the loo arrangements are for visitors, so every seller at the event can pass on this info to their customers.

contractor6 · 17/09/2015 12:29

Yanbu, if you don't know them, letting strangers into house could invalid your insurance, I leave my keys on shelf on way to bathroom, could easily be picked up.

Gruntfuttock · 17/09/2015 12:52

Sparkletastic No way would I let strangers piss or shit in my loo. I struggle letting DH use it.

"Letting" him use the loo in his own house? WTF? What exactly is the problem? What do you think he's going to do?

Muckogy · 17/09/2015 12:58

YANBU.
i would not like strangers in my house. i would be afraid that they might steal something. or worse.

ArcheryAnnie · 17/09/2015 13:00

I'm going to boggle forever at the vicar's wife scrambling Penny's eggs.

SitsOnFence · 17/09/2015 13:13

Jumble Trails look fantastic

I thought initially you were near some sort of a walking trail and people were popping in randomly on a daily basis. The house I grew up in was set between a popular wooded walking area and a small village and in the summer months loads of people would randomly knock on the door and ask to use the loo. We had a very old spider infested and never cleaned outhouse which we would direct people to, but if it was a parent with a young child my parents would let them in the house. It only ever bothered my parents when people would take a short cut across the garden. They would still be offered use of the outhouse, but it would be delivered with catsbum mouth and a hard stare

With the OPs situation, I would say it is more than acceptable for people purchasing items to ask to use the loo, since you have invited initial contact through the jumble stall (i.e. they're not 'cold calling'), but equally acceptable for you to politely decline them, especially if there is somewhere else nearby for them to go and you don't have an easily accessible loo although I do think you'd have to be fairly hard hearted to turn away a young child.

AnnPerkins · 17/09/2015 13:17

I would feel very uncomfortable letting people go into my house unescorted, unless I knew them at least a little bit.

If a small child was desperate I would take them in with their parent and wait for them.

There was a Jumble Trail in our village last month. It was very successful apparently. It's a great idea.

ArendelleQueen · 17/09/2015 13:19

Only on MN would people claim to willingly open the doors of their home to a complete stranger.

YANBU, OP. It's common sense that you don't let strangers into your house. Just because they're a parent with a small child, doesn't meant they ain't casing the joint.

shutupanddance · 17/09/2015 13:23

You sound delightful op. I hope you get caught short often

Fratelli · 17/09/2015 13:26

Yanbu it's your house, your choice
I'd let kids use it though tbf

Oriunda · 17/09/2015 13:29

I had a stall at a jumble trail last week. I let people come in to the sitting room/kitchen to try clothes or or look in the mirror. No one asked to use the loo, but we live near to a pub so they could nip in there. Usually jumble trails are very local affairs - most people walk following a map - so it's unlikely you'd get people coming from far off. It's a great way to make cash - our trail had loads of stalls donating proceeds to charity. My stall made £150 for my chosen charity!

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