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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not see a problem with men using robots for sex

336 replies

ReallyTired · 15/09/2015 10:54

www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-34118482

Yes, its a bit sad and perverted, but I can't see how a glorified sex doll hurts anyone. I would be horrified if a sex doll looked like a child. However if a really sad sexually frustrated man masturbates with a sex doll that looks like a grown adult, no one is getting hurt.

I don't think it that robots will be sophisicated enough to replace a real spouse in my life time.

OP posts:
BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/09/2015 18:33

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VoyageOfDad · 15/09/2015 18:40

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/09/2015 18:44

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YonicScrewdriver · 15/09/2015 18:46

"a believable humanoid robot in the form of a very beautiful woman"

You honestly don't think it would pose problems?

Out of interest, do you think increased viewing of porn that simulates rape poses any problems? Because I think it's the same sort of thing - be visually and sexually stimulated often enough by a particular model of non or meaningless consent and it can't stay in the "box"

YonicScrewdriver · 15/09/2015 18:47

...it seeps into RL interactions.

zippey · 15/09/2015 18:50

Jude Law plays a kind of sex-bot in AI, its a really good film.

Looking at the OP's original post she labels men sad and perverted if they use a sex robot. Would she say the same for women if they were to use a sex robot? Im wondering if she would say the same for men and women using sex toys etc.

VoyageOfDad · 15/09/2015 18:51

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/09/2015 18:57

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YonicScrewdriver · 15/09/2015 18:59

"Would she say the same for women if they were to use a sex robot?"

The concerns about humanity/poor models of consent would be the same, yes.

VoyageOfDad · 15/09/2015 19:07

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OutsSelf · 15/09/2015 19:11

Well if she's got an AI she's definitely not having sex with some git who wants to fuck women but without the tedious business of accepting their basic humanity

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/09/2015 19:15

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WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 15/09/2015 19:20

I was thinking about this earlier and I think I got a bit to why this makes me feel uncomfortable.

It is not unusual for girls / women to be treated as a collection of attractive / appealing / sexy body parts by men that they encounter around the place (street harassment etc). Many of us will have been addressed by strangers referring to a part of our body that they like the look of. We know that in many societies female submission is de rigeur. In our own terribly advanced western society I am sure that many of us will have experienced a man behaving in a aghast manner when we express some knowledge / an opinion about something that they didn't expect us to know about / something they don't think you should have an opinion on. My grandfather for instance had excellent form for this. Financial matters and gardening were two areas where he woudl actually get quite angry if a female chipped in.

Anyway. So we know this. We know that a depressing number of men the world over would quite like it actually if we kept our bobs shut and our legs spread and the fridge stocked. Some men are around the world believe it is wrong for us to do anything else. Maybe throw some production of babies and childcare in there.

So anyway. I think what jars for me is that this is a literal representation of that. A selection of holes in a female body which is not responsive / responds exactly as you want to it (animated / or not).

With men, and male sex toys, how many women literally think of men as just hard penises? And sure yes we can objectify men but the history and all that, it's not quite the same. Women on the whole do not think of men in anything like the terms that we know a depressingly large number of men think of women as.

So there was that. I do think that this underlying knowledge of how lots of men think about and treat lots of women is why some women on this thread have a really instinctive adverse reaction to this.

Then on the "it's OK to have an adult woman one but not a child or an animal". Why?

If it's a sexual fantasy with no carry over into real life, why not?
If it's to do with crimes, the consent of the doll is not sought, it's inanimate. The man might well not "make lurve" to it he might punch it in the face and assault it. Sexual violence as a fantasy is hardly rare. Would the men have to promise that they would not be nasty to the dolls otherwise they couldn't have one? It's nonsensical.

What about dolls of 16yo or elderly women, are they OK? I asked that upthread not sure if people who are pro some dolls but not others responded to that.

Then there's the point that if it's not moving, then it's simulating an unconscious / asleep / dead woman, just there for the man to do whatever to, that also gives a fairly visceral reaction for all the women who have been in that position themselves I would think.

Sorry that was an essay!

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 15/09/2015 19:22

16yo boys that should say

Also gobs not bobs!

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 15/09/2015 19:23

And not dead women Grin they are unlikely to react to much at all!

VoyageOfDad · 15/09/2015 19:31

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IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 15/09/2015 19:39

the fact that you assume that a plastic man with an erection is the equivalent of a plastic woman with a couple of handy orifices really does reveal more than you'd probably like it to reveal about the real issue here

Both the same in my eyes TBH, but that's because I'm clever enough to realise that neither is real.

To be honest, the main sort of people that will be using a full sized "sex robot" are the same people who get vilified for using prostitutes & escorts now. They're not, on the whole, likely to be in, or form, a long term relationship.

On the plus side, it may have a knock on effect of reducing their reliance on prostitutes & escorts.

Also, in my humble opinion, it's no one's business what 1 living being does in it's own private room/house - whether that be masturbation via robot, hoover, plastic cock or orange in the mouth & bag on head......

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 15/09/2015 19:41

how many women literally think of men as just hard penises?

Hmm, never seen a hen night group in a club then? Or had the joy of being mobbed by one & having your crotch grabbed??

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 15/09/2015 19:44

So it's just about the physical form of the type of being to which you're sexually attracted? So we're back to asking about childlike bodies, the bodies of elderly people, the bodies of animals.

Ah, didn't realise it was "distasteful" for the elderly to have sex - I'll put that in my filofax....

And you know what, I don't actually care if someone has sex with something the shape of a wilderbeest either.

Because it's not a wilderbeest.

So I don't care.

Beca.....

BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/09/2015 19:52

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VoyageOfDad · 15/09/2015 19:53

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BuffytheReasonableFeminist · 15/09/2015 19:56

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WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 15/09/2015 19:57

"To be honest, the main sort of people that will be using a full sized "sex robot" are the same people who get vilified for using prostitutes & escorts now. They're not, on the whole, likely to be in, or form, a long term relationship."

Erm. Loads of men who use prostitutes are in, or have been in, or will be in long term relationships.

Men who pay for sex aren't all socially inadequate weirdos, that is a stereotype and an inaccurate one. Blimey. Whenever we have a prostitution thread we always have people posting to say that men who use prostitutes are often married, quite normal etc. Also, paying for sex abroad is not uncommon now among some groups of young men, they aren't socially inadequate either.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 15/09/2015 20:02

"How many women literally think of men as just hard penises?

Hmm, never seen a hen night group in a club then? Or had the joy of being mobbed by one & having your crotch grabbed??"

Seriously? Was your penis hard when they grabbed it? Would be the first and most obvious point to make. Men don't have erections unless they are aroused, usually. To be quite frank, women are far more likely to objectify other parts of a man's body than their cocks. Not that that's great, but you know, history of oppression and all that.

Anyone who draws a parallel between what men do to women all over the world all the time, including in the UK, in terms of objectification, with how men in the UK are treated by women in terms of objectification, is not seeing the world through very clear eyes I think.

If you want to talk about men being objectified, why not talk about imagery and porn and stuff aimed at gay men? That's far more objectifying and far more of a reasonable parallel.

How about a teen male sex bot aimed at the gay market. That's probably going to get more takers than the version aimed at women. For a number of reaosns.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 15/09/2015 20:10

So, I guess, the reason lots of women get a visceral reaction to this, for me anyway, it is a Western man buying what the men in Boko Haram and Isis and certain parts of India and Afghanistan and so on, get given in the flesh.

I would be interested to hear of anywhere in the world where the reverse is happening.

I think (personally) it's unlikely that owning one of these would make a man more likely to commit sexual violence (don't know that for a fact it's my feeling) as lots of people have all sorts of fantasies that remain just that.

For me it is a visceral reaction to a reminder of what lots of men actually want, and what they would have if they could. That the men in our society are at their core no different really from the men in much more oppressive societies, in how they view women and sex and so on.

That is a totally personal viewpoint and I'm sure lots of people on both sides will disagree with different bits of it Grin

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