Rottweiler and MIL

[Maisy313]

Supposed to be travelling from London to Wales to visit PIL's with 5 week old baby, but it's just been dropped into conversation that they are looking after a neighbours Rottweiler. I'm not prepared to go until the dog is back with its owners, which would mean going the following weekend instead. Mil is very upset, she is insistent that the dog is safe around children as it's spent time around the owners grandchild (4 yrs old I believe). My point is that a newborn baby to a dog might not seem like much more than a rabbit and I'm just not willing to take the chance. There is a bit of bad feeling as mil felt that if my mother was going to attend the birth then she had the right to be there too, neither were in the hospital as it happens, but I think she isn't feeling involved enough. Am I being ridiculous and precious?

YA definitely NBU.
I wouldn't take a newborn to stay with anyone who has a dog.
Your MIL is plain bonkers and needs to cop on to herself.

I thought the op said she wouldn't feel the same if it was a lab?

The breed of dog is secondary to the fact that the dog is out of it's own comfort zone and it doesn't know the OP or the baby, as well as the MIL's clear disregard for the wellbeing of anyone except herself . The dog might well be safe around children and babies, but MIL isn't going to go out of her way to make sure the baby is safe.

The potential consequences here are :

1. Miffed MIL, or
2. Too horrible to contemplate, or
3. No actual danger, but a very fraught and anxious new mother who is reluctant to let the baby out of her arms for fear of the dog,
4. A week's delay.

Really, a pissed-off MIL is very small fry. And she isn't going to melt if she waits a week. She clearly wasn't that bothered about seeing you all if she arranged to take on the dog.

I don't care what sort of dogit is, I wouldn't do it.

I'm another rottie owner and I want to start by saying they do NOT have lock jaw and they are NOT any more dangerous then any other dog breed. I would trust mine with my life!

However ALL dogs have the potential to bite, ALL unknown dogs should be treated with caution and ALL dogs should not be truste with a tiny baby. Therefore I would not be happy to visit and YANBU.

The breed is irrelevant to that fact and there is a lot of misinformation on this thread!

As the dog is not normally resident with your DM and you don't know the dog, YANBU.

I live in a large house and we would struggle to keep a dog separated from a baby over a weekend.

Your baby, your choice. MIL may be impatient to see baby but the best things are worth the wait

yanbu

why would anyone have a dog that size with the strength it has around babies or small children

go another time

A friend owns a Rottweiler. She's Swiss, and says she had to do a special course over there to be allowed one. She wouldn't allow our tiny little Cavalier puppy in the same house as her Rotty - it had to stay in the car the whole time.

She adores her dog and it is beautifully trained and a big softie, but she says they are hugely powerful animals and must be treated with respect. That would also include never, ever having a child, let alone baby, in its territory.

You don't know the dog. It will be unsettled anyway, as a visitor in that house. The baby is a newborn. Why on earth risk it?

Am I being ridiculous and precious?

No, but a MIL feeling injured because a woman wants her mother with her when giving birth, rather than her MIL, certainly is! Blimey.

Incidentally, if I owned a dog and asked people to mind it while I went away, and then the dog was destroyed after (possibly very badly) hurting a child because of the stupidity of the people I'd asked, I would be devastated. And not primarily over the loss of a much-loved pet, either.

You're not the only person being disrespected here.

Words of wisdom there TastingtheRainbow - I haven't read the whole thread but I can imagine there has been a lot of talk of Rotties being "dangerous dogs" which of course is not the case. It all depends on the owners and how the dog is treated, nothing to do with the breed.

However I totally agree that the OP should not visit with her young baby, while the dog is there. Yes the dog could be kept in a separate room but the mom is going to be on edge all the time, and that's just not fair. The other worrying thing is MIL's attitude - claiming the dog is all right around children. I would worry about anyone making a statement like this because as you say Rainbow any dog can bite and no dog should be trusted with a young baby.

I've just been looking at stuff on the internet my DGD has "liked" and there are loads and loads of pictures of babies with dogs, and it's all very cute, baby laughing at the dog's antics, but I am astonished at how parents let their dogs so close to sometimes very tiny babies.

I had two kittens when my son dil and grandchildren came to stay one time (and the baby was only 3 months old) and I assured them that I would ensure that the kittens would never get anywhere near the baby, especially her pram or cot, as it's well known cats like to jump in warm places and could suffocate a baby. My DIL was very relieved as she'd been worried about this, but she knew about the kittens.

We had a yellow lab when my first DGD was born and they visited often, but we never ever left the baby and dog in a room together when no one else was there. Labs and golden retrievers are notoriously soft, BUT I heard of a horrendous thing with a golden retriever (much loved family pet) who (without provocation) attacked the 11 year old boy of the family. He bit his lower jaw very badly and fortunately the neighbour was an off duty paramedic and was able to pack the jaw and get the boy to hospital or it could have been a lot worse. Apparently the vet said the dog must have had a "rogue gene" - so who knows.

YANBU

I love dogs grew up with them my dad is a great trainer but when I was visiting with dd as a newborn parents dog then was sent along to aunts for duration of the visit.

Those saying 'dogs don't attack for no reason' iirc there's been 2 threads on here this summer where exactly this happened and this was in the dogs' own homes with their permanent owners.

Agree too your Mil blasé attitude also a cause for concern.

I would be very surprised if you could find a professional dog behaviourist who would say that any dog, who is in a strange house with strange people, would be a suitable house guest with a young baby.

Why would you take the risk?

^^This. As an owner of a spaniel, who are supposedly 'soft mouthed', (the number of toys he's destroyed give lie to that fact) I wouldn't feel comfortable with him being in the same house as a newborn without me or my partner being there. He has separation anxiety and so frequently is looked after by my BIL or my elder niece. She complains that he doesn't obey her, I wouldn't put any of them (dog included) in the position where a newborn could possibly get hurt. YANBU, OP, go the weekend afterward.

Why put up with stress of dog and baby when can visit another weekend?

Spaniels are soft mouthed - it means they're able to retrieve game without damaging it. Not that they don't have teeth or never chew anything. Especially when they have separation anxiety. Being sift mouthed it's totally irrelevant to either toy destruction or aggression

Yanb the tiniest BU

I think yanbu. I love dogs, but don't trust them. My uncle has a large mixed breed dog, he is solid. My GP's often look after him and he is good with all of us but I won't have him round my 3 year old and baby even if he has a lead on because if he wanted to he would easily be strong enough to pull someone over or jump a gate (has done both in excitement). He is also very curious so could knock the kids over just by jumping up etc.

My concerns would be someone leaving doors open (he has often escaped by someone accidently doing this!), him causing injuries by jumping up and if he did decide to turn and go for the baby, he is such a strong dog it wouldn't matter if adults were present, you wouldn't be able to get him off. This is a dog I know well, no way would I have a strange large dog around my children

YABU - manage the situation, don't just refuse to go.

I think you are being a bit OTT as this could be easily managed. The dog could be kept in another room and even on the lead when in the same room as the baby and never allowed unsupervised access

But why is that easier than simply visiting the following weekend? And is it necessarily kinder to the dog, which is already in unfamiliar surroundings?

YANBU to want to minimise risk to your new baby OP. That's what parental instinct is there for. Why on earth should you be made to feel unreasonable as a new mum doing what you feel is best for your 4 week old baby?!

Why cant MIL come to you for the day? How come she hasn't come before now? If it's because she's agreed to babysit someone else's dog for however long then she's hardly bending over backwards to facilitate this first visit with her new GC is she? Another week wont hurt.

Poor dog...personally I think it's had a lucky escape not having to put up with being locked away all weekend, listening to a screaming baby and people who clearly don't want it around.

Your MIL is not being fair on you, not being fair on her DGC, not being fair on the dog - everyone is going to have a crap weekend - dog included - to be 'safe' as MIL doesn't know the dog - and the weekend after would be much better all round.

I have a dog, and even though i know her, her introduction to our baby was staggered and managed. Similarily my mum has 3 dogs and they were introduced to baby slowly over months in the case of one of the dogs- and thats dogs i know and who know me and are in a space they are familiar with. So i think YANBU in not wanting to put your baby, or this dog, in this position. I know it's hard on MIL but from your OP i take it it's a weekend visit with overnight stays, not a quick afternoon visit which makes keeping the dog and baby seperate more difficult. Ultimately it's up to you and DH on this one- and at 5 weeks get used to constantly having to justify your decisions regarding your own child can you tell i'm fed up with relatives telling me how to parent!

YADNBU I'm a dog lover, have a lab that my 2 yr old rolls around the floor with and am very trusting of her but I would not be taking a new baby to stay in a house with a strange dog.
The dog is in a different environment with people it's not used to etc and then more strangers coming in on top, no way would I be going

YANBU YANBU YANBU! There are some massive red flags about your MIL here. The fact she's even suggesting this. The fact she thought the possibility of your own mother being at the birth gave her the right to be there too. The way she's being so cavalier with your baby's safety and your need not to have unnecessary stress in your life so soon after giving birth.

Is she one of those colossally self absorbed MILs in general? And if so, how does your DH manage her? What does he say about all this, anyway? Is he backing you?

taste completely agree with your post. I wouldn't trust any strange dog, or even my own dog around my bAby, no matter what the breed, even if it's a little tiny breed.
I have been bitten 3 times, by a yourkie, jack Russell and a Chihuahua.
Never by a rottie, staffie or collie that i have been around.
The lock jaw comes up on all these threads, it was on the staffies are evil dogs thread last time.
I don't think op is undeasonable to not go over as it's a strange dog, unfair on baby and dog, but unreasonable to simply blame it on the breed.

nana i have also seen some horrifying videos of children jumping, rolling and pulling on dogs. At the end of one of these videos the dog turned round and went for the child.
It was a warning video to stop parents letting their kids maul the dogs.
It was terrifying how up close and what the kids were doing and the parents just laughing! You could see the dogs getting wound up.