Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rottweiler and MIL

127 replies

Maisy313 · 14/09/2015 19:49

Supposed to be travelling from London to Wales to visit PIL's with 5 week old baby, but it's just been dropped into conversation that they are looking after a neighbours Rottweiler. I'm not prepared to go until the dog is back with its owners, which would mean going the following weekend instead. Mil is very upset, she is insistent that the dog is safe around children as it's spent time around the owners grandchild (4 yrs old I believe). My point is that a newborn baby to a dog might not seem like much more than a rabbit and I'm just not willing to take the chance. There is a bit of bad feeling as mil felt that if my mother was going to attend the birth then she had the right to be there too, neither were in the hospital as it happens, but I think she isn't feeling involved enough. Am I being ridiculous and precious?

OP posts:
FrancesNiadova · 14/09/2015 21:11

YANBU. I love dogs; used to have a beagle!
This is not your or your MIL' s dog.
The dog is away from its humans & home, it is out of its comfort zone.
A baby is very vulnerable & takes all the attention. A baby smells very different too.
I wouldn't take a baby into a situation like the one you describe.
Stick to your guns, you know you're right! Flowers

CatMilkMan · 14/09/2015 21:12

It's a dog you don't know so it's understandable if you refuse to go, on the other hand it would probably be very easy to manage the situation and keep the dog away from the baby.

GoneGirlGone · 14/09/2015 21:18

You sound sensible and far from unreasonable. I would not even contemplate visiting while the dog is there. And as an aside we so often hear, after an attack, that the dog in question was described as gentle, soft, non aggressive and so on. I wouldn't trust any dog around an infant or child.

Jux · 14/09/2015 21:18

You don't know the dog, and nor do your ILs. They are only looking after it, it's not theirs. How do they do that they could control it if it suddenly decided your baby was a rabbit? They've not had years of training it, bonding with it, ensuring that it knows that it is subordinate to them.

Don't do it. It'll be bad enough doing that drive with a small baby as it is.

LieselVonTwat · 14/09/2015 21:21

You would BU to even consider going. You don't know the dog and it doesn't know you. It'll be in a strange house. MIL is blase and minimising risks, and appears to be allowing her hurt feelings over the birth to influence her assessment of the safety of the situation. If she's doing that now, you can't be sure she won't do it when you're there. And honestly, with a 5 week old baby you're going to be so tired. The last thing you'll want or need is to be vigilant for a whole weekend. You won't be able to relax or enjoy the visit. The only people who've said you're BU are clearly incredibly stupid.

Also, not that the welfare of the animal would be a priority for me in this scenario, but I can't see that it's fair to the dog either. It'll already be in a strange place with different people. Cooping it up for the weekend and simultaneously forcing it to deal with people it doesn't know at all seems unnecessarily cruel. I'm surprised any dog lover would think this was desirable.

AdoraBell · 14/09/2015 21:28

Speaking as the owner of dogs, YANBU at all. I wouldn't even have my own dogs around a small baby never mind a dog I don't own.

Battleshiphips2 · 14/09/2015 21:33

Yanbu. I love dogs and have a dog myself but I would still be wary about having a tiny baby around an unfamiliar dog. Even around my own dog I would be extra vigilant, making sure the dog and child were never alone.

Whoknewitcouldbeso · 14/09/2015 21:41

Only an entirely manageable situation if the MIL plans to manage it. Personally if she is making noises as though she can't be trusted to ensure the dog is kept separate from the newborn then I wouldn't risk it either.

kali110 · 14/09/2015 21:50

Are rotties now the hated dogs instead of staffies?
So you wouldnt be scared of a strange Labrador, but you are of this dog, simply because it is a Rottweiler?
I would go, i would just keep the dog away from my baby, as i would any Strange dog.

kali110 · 14/09/2015 21:55

btw it's a myth about lock jaw, no dog can do that.

kali110 · 14/09/2015 21:56

However it comes on every thread about big dogs, rotties, staffies etc just depends which is the hated dog at the time.

BackforGood · 14/09/2015 22:00

YANBU AT ALL.

the dog - however wonderful it may, or may not be - is away from it's owners, away from it's home, and then more strange people are being thrown into the mix, and one of them is a tiny baby. No-one knows how it might react. Of course YANBU. I would wait until the dog has gone home.

Crazypetlady · 14/09/2015 22:06

YANBU about not wanting your baby around a strange dog.
YABU about naming the breed as it doesn't matter.It's more dangerous singling out breeds as people become complacent with others deemed friendlier or safer.

PunkrockerGirl · 14/09/2015 22:07

Where did the Op say she wouldn't be scared of a strange labrador? Confused

coconutpie · 14/09/2015 22:09

YANBU at all, your MIL sounds like a right wagon. There is no way I'd be visiting a house that lets a dog roam free like that with a newborn baby. MIL can sulk all she wants and she sounds like a right stupid twat for putting the safety of your baby last.

99percentchocolate · 14/09/2015 22:16

YADDNBU. You and MIL don't know this dog, what will upset it, and what it's triggers are. Absolutely no way in hell would I take my baby into that situation, and honestly, I would judge you if you did. Sorry, but I would.

MrsJorahMormont · 14/09/2015 22:16

YANBU. Go the week after.

Lurkedforever1 · 14/09/2015 22:18

Off topic but no spatch not everyone is knowledgeable about what a dog is signalling, or about training them. However it is the absolute duty of anyone in charge of one with children to be that knowledgeable. And if they aren't, and something does happen, it is entirely the adults fault, not the dogs.

Marbleslostthem · 14/09/2015 22:22

Kali the OP said she wouldn't want to even if the dog was a Lab.

WalfordEast · 14/09/2015 22:31

YANBU at all. You dont know this dog, you dont know its past and you never will for certain. Even with that said id be inclined not to risk it. Tell your MIL to put her dummy back in.

featherandblack · 14/09/2015 22:32

Your MIL is well out of order for taking on a rottweiler the same weekend as you're visiting with your baby. Having spent time with a four year old, in the presence of its owner, means very little. MIL sounds like a very unreasonable woman. Definitely say no and let her stew.

featherandblack · 14/09/2015 22:35

I have the soppiest golden retriever in the world and I wouldn't vouch for how she could react if she was on edge in a strange house with an unfamiliar creature. Unless the house and grounds are kitted out for dogs (sounds like they won't be) it would be very difficult to ensure baby and dog don't meet. Very draining for you to police and isolating for the dog as well. What an awful woman.

RueDesTroisFreres · 14/09/2015 22:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 14/09/2015 22:47

I've got a rottie, he's lovely and the breed isn't inherently aggressive. However, they are clever enough to open doors by themselves, big enough that they are impossible to physically control while holding a baby, strong enough to clear a baby gate in a single bound and more spooked than most breeds when their owners go away.

I'd laugh if someone suggested doing this with my dog, then I'd find somewhere else for him to stay.

DisappointedOne · 14/09/2015 22:59

Just go the following weekend. Or go and stay in a hotel/B&B.