AIBU to go to someone's wedding and wear white

[BollockyBollocks]

When they came to mine in white very recently?
Yes, I know it's petty and I should do the grown up thing but it pissed me off quite a bit.
It was a very white, very wedding type dress.

Here are some ideas OP if you want to upstage her. www.funny-city.com/photos/4921-top-10-sluttiests-wedding-dresses.
I like 3,4 and 6 the best.

I couldnt of cared less if someone had worn white to my wedding. She probably doesn't see it as a big deal either and probably wouldn't care.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways - thing is, a lot of people do care, and with some good reason. Not exactly the same, but a few years ago I went to a wedding where the MotB dressed almost exactly like the bridesmaids. No one would say anything, but it look really odd. Out of all the dresses a woman can choose to someone's wedding, why choose a white/ivory number? It's not criminal behaviour, but it is bad manners and social decorum.

Yes the text on that Brides article is horribly bridezillaish isn't it? I didn't read it, it was just the first link I could find to Raquel's memorable Mother of the Groom outfit.

NO! wrong wrong wrong

Why?

It wouldn't bother me. If I look at my group wedding shot, there probably are a couple of women dressed in obviously non-bridal cream or white.

Go looking stunning in something that is not white.

Take some of your own wedding photos if she is in them and show them to her guests at the reception, feel free to point out how like her wedding dress that outfit was, but you thought Great Aunty Maud would like to see it.

This plan has the advantage that you can just leave the pics in your bag if you change your mind.

Oh and don't forget to turn up with some small girls dressed as flower girls and get them to follow said woman down the aisle - I believe you can get child actors for a reasonable amount.

does she have a colour scheme? could you clash and look fabulous?

beautiful white/cream/ivory dresses around that aren't in the least bit bridal, that surely it would be fine to wear

.. but I just wouldn't. It might be OK and the bride might not mind (or more likely won't show that she minds) - but why choose these when there are so many other colours? Especially if you are MoG or MoB - or anyone significant who will be photographed a lot. But I wouldn't anyway.

Several people commented negatively on the photos of my mother (in cream lace) at my wedding 30 years ago. I hadn't said anything or shown any signs because I thought I was being precious, but evidently there were plenty of people who thought the same. Obviously it hadn't occurred to Mum - it was a colour that suited her - but lots of colours suit her. She still has no idea to this day.

I suppose it depends on whether or not what guests are wearing on your wedding day is a particularly important part of your marriage.

A good friend wore the Raquel dress to my wedding. The cleavage was spectacular. I knew her well enough to know she was not trying to upstage me (she was still breast feeding her second, it was the only dress that fitted her) but quite a few people, including DH, were irritated.

The other way of attention-seeking is to turn up looking scruffy. One odd friend of a friend wore ski pants, a baggy old jumper and a parka to my sister's very smart wedding. Odd woman made it painfully clear all day that she did not want to be there. I could never do that.

Basic rule of weddings: go with a good grace or don't go at all.

Yabu to bother attending the wedding of a twat.

Wear black with a veiled hat i was at a wedding where a woman wore a low cut white lacy jump suit i couldnt take my eyes off her which was probably the reaction she was going for

I don't get the angst about wearing white to a wedding.

Because traditionally, you don't.
First rule about a wedding, you do not upstage the bride.
Second rule, don't wear white, it's the colour of the bride (unless she specifically chooses something else). It's not that hard, there are so many outfits you could wear, just be polite. Why would you want to? If the bride is wearing a red dress, but didn't tell anybody (in this country), then it's a different issue.

A white dress with colourful flowers or something is fine. I don't even understand why people think it's acceptable to wear ivory/cream/ white. It just make them look awful.

I had no idea not wearing white to a wedding was such a thing! I've been to many weddings where there were guests in white, so long as it's not "bridal" I don't see the problem.

I think you should wear whatever you like, within reason, because social "rules" like this only exist to make people feel bad for inadvertently breaking them. So the sooner we get rid of them the better. It's turning up and celebrating the marriage that's important!

What does it mean to "not upstage the bride"? If you are very beautiful, should you wear false beard and glasses? If you have Kelly Brook's body, should you wear a sack?

Could you post a photo of the dress they wore?

I don't even understand why people think it's acceptable to wear ivory/cream/ white. It just make them look awful.

No, it doesn't...?

I've see plenty of people look gorgeous in white/pale/nude/Ivory dresses. We're talking simple, elegant, often knee-length dresses here. Not bridal gowns.

OMG I've just remembered that many many years ago (about 30) I wore an ivory suit to a wedding .......

"What does it mean to "not upstage the bride"?

It means dressing smart and modestly, what do you think it means? Nothing wrong with being gorgeous, but think Hepburn meet Kate Middleton on duty.

Are you seriously wondering why you don't try to draw attention to yourself on somebody's special day? If you do, you must have some serious issues.

I don't think you necessarily need to dress "modestly". Sometimes a wedding is your best opportunity to "attract the attention" of a friend of a friend you've had your eye on for ages and many young women in that situation dress accordingly, which is a perfectly reasonable interpretation of wedding protocol.

See, if somebody I liked enough to invite to my wedding wore a clearly non-bridal white/Ivory/whatever dress, it wouldn't even occur to me to think they were trying to upstage me! I'd just think that was the dress they liked!

Obviously this doesn't apply to the OP who is trying to be provocative, but generally, in real life.

Getting precious about guests wearing white or other pale neutral colours at your wedding is veering into bridezilla territory - aren't most brides having way too much fun to even notice this sort of thing?

I wore a ivory, knee length shift dress to my sisters wedding, about 25 years ago. I had refused to be bridesmaid as I did not like her. No way did I think my dress was wrong though. No one commented,

Hmm, see, wearing white to the wedding of a sister you don't like, does look bad. Completely different scenario from good friends attending the wedding of people they actually like, in good faith, in a white frock because it's a summer's day and then dress suits them.

People might not have commented, but ...