AIBU to give up work for a while?

[NoonarAgain]

I've always worked. My dds are 11 and 13 and I went back to work both times after maternity leave went they were born.

I'm a teacher - I do a 3 day week. I have a fantastic DH who has a stressful job with loads of evening meetings.

I know this sounds ridiculous, as my children are older , but I'm thinking of giving up work. I just feel a bit burned out. I'd love to spend a couple of years just being at home, being there for the dc and doing a bit of private tuition ( it'd break my heart to stop teaching altogether).

I had a totally surreal meeting with my (very unpredictable) head teacher last week. She flew off the handle over something totally irrational and it has really affected me for some reason. I think partly it's because it's a stressful time of year anyway. My dds started a new school this week, too. I just feel really tired of juggling my job, the needs of the dc, DH and even the bloody dog!!

I just want to focus on the home and family for a bit.

I am lucky, I know I have a good life. People would probably think I was really lazy to give up work with children at secondary school, wouldn't they?

So..AIBU?

YANBU I would love to do that.

Recently I changed jobs and as I was going to a role with a competitor I was sent home on gardening leave as soon as I handed my notice in. It was wonderful a month off on full pay with no stress, waiting to start my new job. I still had the cleaner and gardener and the kids were at school, bliss.

I knew I would love it, but I had not expected DH to be so happy for me to be off work. He realy liked coming home to me happy and relaxed and not stressed about doing supper and sorting out the kids. We had a conversation about me giving up work and the positive effect it would have on our family life. Obvioulsly if I did then the finances would change, but we could manage. Probably something I will do when we have got the kids through uni, but I would love to stay at home now.

YANBU.
go for it.

in the future, if you ever want to get back to teaching part time or full time, i would imagine you'll find it easy to get work.
the UK is crying out for teachers AFAIK.

You shouldn't have to think that you are lazy.

It's sad that lots of mothers feel that way these days if they are not working.

If you are burned out take time off, before you are too exhausted.

My friend felt exactly the same way as you, she was also a teacher, she also left work but is now a supply teacher after a year off and can choose when to work so she is more than happy with that.

rain - if we were living in a world where women and men had equality of opportunity in the work place, the same pay, no "mummy track" career progression, no "maternity penalty", then I would absolutely agree that there would be no problem with me stopping working and DH being the sole breadwinner. As we don't live in this world, personally I want to be a good role model to my children that both men and women can work and earn.

I want to be a good role model to my children by showing them that caring for others is a valuable thing.

Parenting is very undervalued by society, as is caring in other roles too.

I had an SLT role and handed in my notice after having our sixth child. I did discuss it with DH and he was firmly behind my decision. We all find life much calmer. Early in our relationship I was the main breadwinner so that DH could have time with his son, my DSS. Our children from being in their nappies to at university.

I do run my own business and I do quite a lot of voluntary work so the children do see me "working". I have financial security and independence but I am not dashing around meeting other people's deadlines. Our family life has improved immeasurably and therefore if I never work again in a formal capacity I don't think it matters,

YANBU to want to finish teaching in schools - that is the case for probably 75% of teacher currently teaching.
I do suggest you think very carefully about handing in your notice if you want to go back in a couple of years though - I think (as others have said) you will find it hard to walk into a job when you are more expensive than NQTs / people a lot lower down the payscale.
If, however, you want to do something else, as you suggested, or "retire" altogether, and you can afford it, then do it. I certainly would.

part time term time left plenty of time to do housework Oh how jolly for the OP. I quit teaching because of the stresses placed on me by HT. I was a very successful teacher but all the admin ground me down.

I'm bemused that anyone is weighing in to defend the DH against unfairness when he's said he's fine with this. If he doesn't think it's unfair, or does but is ok with that, it's really not for anyone else to decide he's wrong. There are plenty of reasons why this potentially might not be a good idea: pension, eggs in one basket, OP giving up financial independence etc. But that's not one of them.

OP if you don't mind losing out on pension, fair enough. Personally if I had access to the sort of pension that a teacher who's been in the game at least 15 years (which I presume you have) gets, I'd not be giving it up quickly. But that's your call. I'd probably try and keep my hand in with a bit of supply and/or tutoring though. Might as well get some use out of that personal allowance.

I think swapping teaching for something you find less stressful, more flexible or more part time is a good idea. I don't think having 5 days a week free during school hours is necessary though - how long to you think it takes to pre-prepare a family meal? And then doing private tuition is going to mean you're unavailable for your DC exactly when they might benefit from it. If you can't afford to not work at all (or don't want to) then I'd think twice about switching from a school hours/term time job to one that's almost entirely the opposite.

I agree with you that parenting teens can be just as demanding as littleies, but I think a key thing about it is that it's less possible to chose when you do it. I find i need to be very adaptable and grab opportunities when they arise. You may keep one day a week free for your DC after school only to find they text you to say they're at a friend's and will be back for dinner. The next day they may come home with worries they'd like to talk about or want a lift somewhere but you're busy tutoring.

I've seen many teachers take a bit of time off due to burnout (which it sounds like this is) and then get back in without many issues because everyone knows that burnout happens.

It helps if you do something teaching-related in the meantime - TEFL can be great - much, much lower annual salary but good hourly pay and all the fun bits of English teaching. For me - apart from the fact that health reasons mean I couldn't do a full-time job right now anyway - TEFL has been fantastic. I even refuse to work most of the summer (a high point for TEFL) and still get whatever work I'm available for.

I'm one of many teachers who quit the secondary sector for TEFL. I've also been headhunted for secondary jobs (and not just via group emails, but really directly) recently after 4 years out of secondary, so it is possible to go back.

My DH loves me being at home.
He has a stressful job, and he can focus on that knowing the DC are happy, fed, well looked after.
I cook an evening meal from scratch most days, I am there to ferry my kids two and from school (DS) has odd starting times, DD need to be at dance 4 nights a week by 5.30pm, clothes are all washed and ready for the next day, bills paid, insurances kept up to days, credit cards paid on time.

My OH loves this life as much as I do.

My DH has loved having me at home too, goblinhat. I've always said that every working mother needs a wife...

Absolutely!