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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH is being a bit precious?

80 replies

Loki17 · 12/09/2015 08:01

4 year old DD just came bursting into the bathroom whilst I was putting on a sanitary towel. She asked what I was doing and then asked why. She already knows that babies are made from a mummy's special egg and a daddy's special seed then grow in their mummy's tummy. (She has 5 little cousins- we've had the 'where do babies come from' question a lot.) Anyway, I told her that when mummies and daddies don't want to have a baby, the mummy gets rid of the special egg by having a period and then a new one grows in its place. The sanitary towel takes the egg away. She accepted this and went on her merry way. DH thinks I have destroyed her innocence and should have lied. He also thinks that once I had told her this I should have told her that she must not talk about it to anyone else ever. Hmm He is a primary school teacher and apparently 'there is a reason we do not educate children about this until the age of 10'. I'm not going to lie to my dd and I thought id given an age appropriate explanation given the direct nature of her question. I'm doubting myself because dh is cross about it. Was I unreasonable?

OP posts:
Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 12/09/2015 08:03

Of course you're not!! Very worrying about primary school teacher thinks that as my daughter started her periods at 9. He is very unreasonable to suggest keeping quiet! !!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/09/2015 08:04

No you weren't unreasonable and yes he is being a bit precious.

She probably won't give it another thought.

I'm keen to hear what his explanation would have been to her.

Oysterbabe · 12/09/2015 08:04

I think what you said is absolutely fine. I definitely knew about periods before 10.

Original poster
Loki17 · 12/09/2015 08:05

He would have lied. He would have said it was a sticker to protect my pants.Confused

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 12/09/2015 08:06

YANBU, he is being precious. Educating children doesn't remove their innocence.

pinkyredrose · 12/09/2015 08:07

Wtf is he on about, 'destroying her innocence' ffs. What does knowing about periods make her guilty of?

LindyHemming · 12/09/2015 08:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fugghetaboutit · 12/09/2015 08:08

Proper lol at destroyed her innocence. Twat

HumphreyCobblers · 12/09/2015 08:08

It says a lot about his attitude to periods, doesn't it?

VimFuego101 · 12/09/2015 08:08

He is ridiculous.

BadgerFace · 12/09/2015 08:09

My periods came at 10 - it would have been useful to have been aware of them earlier!

I would ask DH what he would have then done when DD wanted a sticker in her pants to be like mummy...

browneyedgirl86 · 12/09/2015 08:09

I don't think you are unreasonable. How would your DH have lied to her?

I think you handled it well. I don't think you should have lied. How else could you explain it without scaring her possibly?

HemanOrSheRa · 12/09/2015 08:10

What on earth did he think you should have said?

My DS knew about periods from about the age of 5 or 6. He did the same thing as your DD, coming into the bathroom etc. So I told him very simply what it was all about. Much the same as you did. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Littlefish · 12/09/2015 08:10

I'm a primary school teacher and gave my dd a similar explanation at a similar age. When she was about 6 we had the same conversation again and I did say that it was something that we talk about at home, but some mummies and daddies hadn't chosen to talk about it yet so she mustn't discuss it on the playground.

So yes, he is being a bit precious, but I also think you need to be a little bit aware of other parents' choices at this young age.

stopfaffing · 12/09/2015 08:10

I love the way you described it, OP, perfect. Smile

Debinaround · 12/09/2015 08:11

A sticker to protect your pants from what? That would have been my 4 year olds question if I said that. YANBU.

Fairylea · 12/09/2015 08:12

He's being ridiculous. I said the same thing to my dd from the same age. Age appropriate sex education is so important. I can't believe he's a teacher with that attitude!

browneyedgirl86 · 12/09/2015 08:12

Oops updated already,

A sticker for your pants? Oh dear. No, no, no. You did the right thing OP.
Your DH is being unreasonable!

Original poster
Loki17 · 12/09/2015 08:13

He's not religious but he grew up in a household where these things weren't talked about. My parents were very liberal. He thinks other parents will be cross if dd tells them. I don't think she will give it a second thought.

OP posts:
Every1KnowsJeffHesUsuallyACunt · 12/09/2015 08:13

What a twit he's being.

Fwiw, I had to have that conversation with mine pretty early on when ds decided to stick my pads to his head. The dd's think it's hilarious to drop my tampons in the toilet and watch them swell up Hmm Grin

zippyswife · 12/09/2015 08:14

I think you explained that really well. I might be copying your explanation!!

Hassled · 12/09/2015 08:14

'there is a reason we do not educate children about this until the age of 10' - that's complete bollocks. We do educate children about this before they are 10 so that they are prepared for the event and don't have the fear of god put in them when they start their periods at 9. Clear, factual explanations are always the best way.

fastdaytears · 12/09/2015 08:18

Sounds like the perfect explanation to me and why would anyone leave it to 10? Loads of girls have periods before then. Not sure why your DH is even talking about school based explanation (though for the record, Shock that they leave that to ten in his school), surely he doesn't think that parents haven't mentioned anything to their DC until he does his lesson?

BathtimeFunkster · 12/09/2015 08:18

He's being ridiculous.

Her "innocence" is destroyed by knowing about periods? Hmm

So little girls should be kept in ignorance about their physiology until after the age many of them will have started menstruating because a man thinks periods are evil?

Dick.

vdbfamily · 12/09/2015 08:19

This may sound contradictory but whilst I withdrew my children from the schools sex ed programme in Primary school because I really hated the videos used and the kind of info given, I do strongly believe that if your kids are curious about stuff and ask you questions,you answer them honestly and as factually as you can and if they never ask,you make sure they know what they need to before it is too late. Younger kids deal much better with this sort of info as they are not embarrassed to discuss it. Just be aware though that as kids,if you just give them the very basics they will build their own explanation. My son at the age of about 6 was very curious as to what the function of his testicles were. I explained that they stored lots and lots of seeds to be used when he is a grown up and wants to have a baby. He then wanted to know how the seeds got out. I explained that there was a sort of mini explosion and they all rush out at once through his penis. It was about a year later he was looking very thoughtful and concerned and I asked what was up. He explained that he was worried because he thought he might want several children and was wondering how he would do that once his 'balls had exploded' !! Made me realise that I needed to be a bit clearer!!