Banned from looking after my DSD son...

[zeezeek]

By her mother...who, as you may already know, with whom I have a tricky relationship.

So...the Christening happened. DSD and her DP and son joined us for an awesome summer in Sweden, during which I looked after my step-grandson alone a number of times. I love him, he seems to love me too. My DDs are also pretty damn well smitten too, if a tad confused about their relationship to him!

Anyway, fast forward to now....my DSD and her DP want a weekend away next weekend and my Dh - their main childcare - has a weekend away planned with some friends of his that I'm not going on. So I offered to look after the baby. DSD is cool with that, as is her DP (his mother died a long time ago and his Dad is useless). However, her mother is now complaining because it is me looking after him. She doesn't want him herself....she just doesn't want me to look after him.

AIBU to wonder what the actual fuck is going on with this woman?

[FantasticButtocks]

it was buttocks comment about it going "wrong" when the DSD talks to her mother about her stepmum, and tells her stepmum what her mother says. Yes, but perhaps I was unclear - So for clarity's sake: I do think that is where it has gone wrong - However, I do not think that DSD is to blame for her mother's reaction. I do not think DSD is deliberately stirring things between her DM and her DSM.

DSD and OP have a good relationship. DSD and her DM have a strained relationship. The fact that DM is unable to behave inappropriately is no one else's fault. But if she starts interfering in her daughter's business then it is her daughter who needs to deal with her. The daughter has chosen to be open with her DM about OP babysitting, fair enough. And her DM is choosing to react badly. It is between mother and daughter. The OP need not be involved in the argument.

SouthAmericanCuisine I don't think we are actually disagreeing here but perhaps some things I said were not clearly expressed and thus open to misunderstanding.

[FantasticButtocks]

oops - unable to behave appropriately

[zeezeek]

*The daughter has chosen to be open with her DM about OP babysitting, fair enough. And her DM is choosing to react badly. It is between mother and daughter. The OP need not be involved in the argument.

That is the position that I have taken for nearly 20 years now. However, my DSD chooses to confide in me about difficulties with her parents. She is an only child and her family basically consist of her mother on one side and myself, my DH and our children/step-children on the other. My two DDs are too young for her to have as support and her step-siblings from my DH's first marriage are all in Sweden. She has a wide circle of friends and her DP, but sometimes wants and needs someone else who understands the family dynamics.

Anyway, regarding next weekend, then arrangements have been put in place for me to have the baby and my girls (who are very young and see Aunty/Uncle as being an older person and don't quite understand that they are Aunties to a child who is only a few years younger than them) are looking forward to it all. As am I. He's an adorable little boy.

[notaprincessbutaqueen]

luckily your dsd is an adult so can choose to ignore her mother!
i have the same issues but dsd is only 6. if dh has to pop to work for a couple of hours on our contact day all hell breaks loose, i get called every name under the sun and contact gets stopped for a couple of weeks. if dh's ex wants to pop to tescos during the school holidays and would rather not take the kids then I'm an ok babysitter then. its just control freak/jealousy. hurtful but not a lot i can do x