to think that there should be a warning on self-published books on Amazon, so that...

[ElizaPickford]

... you don't end up spending actual money on the biggest pile of self indulgent, unedited, garbled bollocks by someone with the writing ability of an eight year old?

My poor DH recently bought me a book as a gift because it was about a subject I'm interested in and at a glance it had 5 stars and great reviews. I was looking forward to reading it, but when I picked it up on holiday I found it had capital letters randomly strewn throughout sentences, not a speech mark IN THE ENTIRE BOOK and as for the story line; it was so unbelievably incoherent and shit I was amazed. On closer inspection obviously someone (with no grasp of grammar or language) has just cobbled some ridiculous thoughts together and my well meaning DH actually spent a whole £6 on it.

This makes me really angry. I'm sure that there are perks to self publishing, but I really think there should be a warning somewhere so that you know that you could be buying utter drivel. It seems very unfair and almost fraudulent. I'm thinking I should create a coffee table compilation of my youngest child's most fantastical line drawings and charge unsuspecting victims customers £15 for a hardback edition.

IABU?

I suspect that the reviews were written by her mum. It's so disingenuous.

Good grief - just read a bit of one of her books using the "look inside" feature - what a nightmare - a jumbled collection of sentences, none of which makes any sense at all. I wonder if she wrote it all using voice recognition and autocorrect?

Glad I wasn't alone in not making head nor tail of it, CocktailQueen

Cocktail - I'm an editor too, I think that's why this has annoyed me so much!

I might offer her my services.

Which one did you buy? None of them seem to have any reviews?!

Not all self-published books are bad, Squoosh!

Sorry I didn't mean to imply they were. But any old crap can be uploaded to Amazon these days so it's just a case of being aware that these books haven't gone through rigorous testing as such. I'd always read reviews and do a bit of googling before buying a self-published book.

Rather you than me, Eliza :) Go for it!

So many exclamation marks in the description of that AoGG book!

These days I always look at who published the book before buying it. And I'm suspicious of books that only have five star reviews. I think it's usually a sign only their mum, OH and cat have read the book and they feel obliged to give glowing reviews.

Absolutely, Squoosh - and I've used the refund option several times when a book hasn't been as good as I've been expecting.

I do love the 'Look Inside' feature. I've had a read of the first few pages of Back to Green Gables: Romance & Tea on Prince Edward Island (vom!). The only explanation is that she was hitting the currant wine hard when she wrote this.

Oh dear, she has given her own book a five star review on Goodreads!

Fortunately someone else has set the record straight. She really has a brass neck - it also looks like she's charging £7 for an old catalogue she's photocopied.

Is that even legal?!

I'm self-published, but I agree there is an awful lot of self published crap out there. I looked at a sample of one of this woman's books; I've seen better fanfic written by people whose first language is not English.

I always use the 'Look Inside' feature or download the sample before parting with any money, just as I'd skim the first chapter before buying a book in a bookshop.

Self published books on Kindle are generally cheaper than traditionally published books, which is a benefit for people who get through a lot of books.

I got a headache from the first paragraph alone!

She's written TWO books on antique chocolate moulds.

It was very entertaining reading Brianna's one-star review on Goodreads - can't believe she managed to plough through it.

This is the problem with self publishing. There is a very good reason why some people are forced to go down that avenue.

If the writer is a total unknown and the book is self published you can bet all the 5 star reviews are from their friends and family.

Look at my arms cried Kate, look at my goosebumps
oh my gosh! I have goosebumps too exclaimed
Edwina, that gave me the chills, they both felt a
shudder pass over their bodies. See, they showed each
other we have chills from head to toe.

For her sake I hope there's money in the antique chocolate mould business!

It's dire! Can't find the OP's review though....the ones I read were somewhat good.

If the writer is a total unknown and the book is self published you can bet all the 5 star reviews are from their friends and family.

If there are only a few reviews and they're all five stars, I agree. I'm always suspicious of that. But I have got quite a few five stars on one of mine from people I don't know at all. But they're balanced out by a few less good reviews.

I can never understand how anyone who has actually read a novel can not know how to punctuate dialogue. It's guaranteed to make me stop reading.

Spoiler alert - one of the women in the AOGG book gets it on with Matthew Cuthbert.

That is truly sacrilegious IMO.

She brought........... sex......to Prince Edward Island?! Are the shades of Green Gables to be thus polluted?

The idea of sweet old virginal Matthew Cuthbert 'getting it on' is really too much for a Friday afternoon. I'd be better equipped to handle such an idea on a Monday morning.

It's "authors" like this one that make self publishing such a nightmare. By the time readers have sifted thought utter shit like this and got to even half decent writing they have given up!