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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell her to jog on? naming day

547 replies

bettyberry · 10/09/2015 14:40

Just received an invite to a naming ceremony.

Its a non-religious thing and is mostly people giving speeches and dedications to the children (Part of me is thinking of the scene in sleeping beauty where the fairies bestow gifts on the baby)

There is a dress code, a gift list (no deviating!) and strict instructions not to drink alcohol even though the venue has a bar. Hmm

There will be no food provided for the 'party' just snacks (crisps, nuts etc) or drinks apart from soda.

It is 3 hours long, early evening, right around dinner time.

The children haven't changed names, no blended family, marriage or ensuring DCs have the same surname etc (I'd still be a bit Hmm for these but understand the value of celebrating a 'new' family set up) parents have been together 10+years.

The children are 5 and 8.

To me it all feels a bit grabby (the specific gift list) and that the host (the DCs mother) is feeling a bit put out both her sisters have had babies recently and no one is interested in her spoilt children.

Please tell me I'm not going barmy and this really is just a 'look at me, I'm here! Look at me!' thing.

OP posts:
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5
Gottagetmoving · 10/09/2015 15:56

Just don't go. You don't have to so say you are busy.

StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2015 16:01

Love the idea of all the adults going in christening gowns. Don't forget the frilly bonnets.

shutupanddance · 10/09/2015 16:01

Your her sister op aren't you?

mumofthemonsters808 · 10/09/2015 16:09

I've read many bizarre things on MN over the years, but this one takes the biscuit, even if I had not been invited anywhere in a million years and was bored senseless I would not give this event the time of day. I would not even bother to make an excuse I'd just say No. They will be lucky if they get more than a handful of guests. For me, the most insulting part is being told not to drink at a paying bar, the other option is to go, provide no gift and get intoxicated and become abusive. There are some very strange people in this life.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 10/09/2015 16:09

I would message her or actually id call and say iv just got the naming ceremony invite wow I didn't know you were changing the kids names, (don't let her get a word in) won't that be confusing for them or is it them that wants to change their names and what are you going to name them?

Then when she answers eh no their names are staying the same, pause for quite a long time then say........ OH.... Oh right, I'm confused why are you having a naming ceremony at 5 and 8 when,......well.........we all know their names....quite well actually.

TheCatsMother99 · 10/09/2015 16:15

Naming day for 5 and 8 year olds? That's it, I've heard it all now.

These used to be surrogate christenings for those who weren't religious (but wanted to show off their new baby and have a party) but to do it for kids that age is bonkers.

PunkrockerGirl · 10/09/2015 16:16

I would go, not take a gift and get completely rat-arsed.
She sounds unhinged Confused

itmustbeglove · 10/09/2015 16:25

I'm wondering if there's a hidden agenda.
Are the parents getting married perhaps and they're getting these guests there under another pretence?

AcrossthePond55 · 10/09/2015 16:26

In conjunction with a PP upthread??.I triple dog dare* you to call her and ask what the Sam Hill this is all about.

*No one is allowed to turn down the infamous triple dog dare. I expect an update after your phone call. Grin

AcrossthePond55 · 10/09/2015 16:27

Where the hell did that '??.' come in my post? My laptop must have gremlins.

AcrossthePond55 · 10/09/2015 16:28

come from!!! Shit, I give up.

GloGirl · 10/09/2015 16:30

This reminds me of when Carrie Bradshaw made her own invite up just so she could have a gift list for a pair of shoes.

You HAVE to go, this has Live Thread written all over it Grin

WeAllFloat · 10/09/2015 16:33

Go dressed as baby.....and for one thousand mumsnet points, shit yourself during a speech.

Original poster
bettyberry · 10/09/2015 16:42

DAmn it you got me! Yes, I am her sister. Its not for another 7 or 8 weeks yet either.

I was initially told way back ON my DS's birthday!? Shock and thought it was a joke (we have a weird sense of humour) but no. The invite arrived today and well...

I could share so much about this sibling but it would out me to anyone who knows us even in passing its glaringly obvious and extreme like the wedding day fiasco

Yes, to PPs, I am going to message her.

OP posts:
MrsGentlyBenevolent · 10/09/2015 16:55

Are you one of the sisters who recently had a baby then? I would soooo be that annoying parent, and make it all about you and baby if so. You know, get everyone cooing over little one, not moving if crying, making everyone remember there's an actual baby around. And when she's reaching the end of her tether with your baby-showboating, just smile and say 'gosh, you look like you need a drink'.

You do need to message her though, I would my own sister. I wouldn't hold back either, I'd be asking why isn't there some marbles on the 'gift list', as she's obviously lost hers.

DriverSurpriseMe · 10/09/2015 17:00

Puts me in mind of an acquaintance who, pissed off over never getting married or having a baby and therefore missed out on a lot of presents, decided to throw a "virtual party" for all her FB friends - and set up a gift list. She actually said it was payback for all the money she'd spent in the past on wedding and baby gifts Grin

Now OP, your friend might have some neck, but it's not as extreme as that person.

strict instructions not to drink alcohol even though the venue has a bar.

Hahahaha. I would make a point of drinking a glass of wine in a very clandestine fashion.

DriverSurpriseMe · 10/09/2015 17:05

Sister, not friend!

OldCrowMedicineShow · 10/09/2015 17:06

Wear a subtle hat subtle and elegant hat

Original poster
bettyberry · 10/09/2015 17:12

MrsGentlyBenevolent no I'm not. The others have had babies though. I'm just at the end of my tether with it and this is the last straw. I'm laughing and screaming at the same time. No one dare tell her how stupid this is because she will 'get upset' and you know what? I'm at the 'don't give a fuck this has to stop' point of it all. this isn't the first time, nor will it be the last and I dread the day OH and I get engaged/married/plan a baby.

I already know of 3 invitees who are not going because they feel the same as what other posters have said. That its ridiculous, grabby and attention seeking.

Did I mention she announced her pregnancy the day after I gave birth to my own DS? Not casually but at the hospital in front of me and other relatives then got pissed off no one really cared! she had known for weeks already. The second one on xmas eve? and no she didn't wait until the 12 week mark for either of them.

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 10/09/2015 17:12

I was about to say, this level of madness can't be reasoned with, so just say you're already busy and leave it at that. However I'm guessing it's hard to plead that another event takes priority if it's your sister. Tricky.

Original poster
bettyberry · 10/09/2015 17:15

HAHA I want that hat! I need a homer simpson T-shirt too. yep. I might just go to this thing after all.

OP posts:
ChristineDePisan · 10/09/2015 17:15

I'm just sorry there wasn't a poem in the invite as well

ShadowLine · 10/09/2015 17:16

This is bizarre. I can see why someone might have a naming day for a baby, but at 5 and 8? No. That's just silly, and it does come across as grabby.

A christening at that age would be a different matter. I have some religious friends who attend church weekly, but did not have their children christened, because they want the children to be old enough to make an active and informed choice about whether to be christened themselves

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 10/09/2015 17:21

bettyberry, for all the jokes, you sound like you're at your wits end with her. What she is doing is ridiculous, it has to be pointed out as people around her will take the mick, not turn up and possibly even get quite pissed off at the blatent grabbyness. She may 'shoot the messenger', but what the hell, she's treating friends and family like fools (or her own Xmas bank account, which is possibly worse). It's a waste of everyone's time, and the poor kids must be rather confused as to what the hell it's all about anyway.

shutupanddance · 10/09/2015 17:26

I knew it, damm it I'm good Wink

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