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AIBU?

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Original poster

to tell her to jog on? naming day

547 replies

bettyberry · 10/09/2015 14:40

Just received an invite to a naming ceremony.

Its a non-religious thing and is mostly people giving speeches and dedications to the children (Part of me is thinking of the scene in sleeping beauty where the fairies bestow gifts on the baby)

There is a dress code, a gift list (no deviating!) and strict instructions not to drink alcohol even though the venue has a bar. Hmm

There will be no food provided for the 'party' just snacks (crisps, nuts etc) or drinks apart from soda.

It is 3 hours long, early evening, right around dinner time.

The children haven't changed names, no blended family, marriage or ensuring DCs have the same surname etc (I'd still be a bit Hmm for these but understand the value of celebrating a 'new' family set up) parents have been together 10+years.

The children are 5 and 8.

To me it all feels a bit grabby (the specific gift list) and that the host (the DCs mother) is feeling a bit put out both her sisters have had babies recently and no one is interested in her spoilt children.

Please tell me I'm not going barmy and this really is just a 'look at me, I'm here! Look at me!' thing.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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3littlebadgers · 10/09/2015 20:38

Betty please can you send your sister a text to tell her to look at her facebook? I NEED to know how this all ends!
I knew there was a reason a sister would have been way better than my brother! Hmm

TipsyLipsy · 10/09/2015 20:40

Your Sister is all kinds of batshit crazy betty.

I have plenty of Wine for the bench.

Original poster
bettyberry · 10/09/2015 20:40

For those who think that the post was nasty. Yes, maybe. I wont apologise though. There's also a fair few bits before and after the bit I shared on the same post that contains personal details concerning the people involved and an explanation about it to her.

It sounds petty but in comparison to all the things I have been through with her. She cried when I lost weight because she was 'the fat one now' to blaming me for being a single mum, for my PND - i brought it on myself for not pushing for a natural birth, her trying to diagnose me as bipolar!? amongst other things I had to do it that way and so brutally. She only sees what she wants to see. she is blinkered and living in a bubble and I guarantee she wont 'see' what I've said just what she thinks I have said.

I have had it for years and I know this started out as a 'jog on' to the naming ceremony there has been so much bubbling under the surface for years that has been either ignore by me and the extended family or just dealt with lightly.

To the PP who said this is therapy. Oh god you are right! however, I may have to reincarnate after this for obvious reasons.

Yes, I have had my own bit o' therapy to deal with this all. It has worked I promise but the therapist doesn't sit and laugh with you about the craziness and right now. That is exactly what I need.

For those asking about what my parents think - her father (my step-dad) is an arse and doesn't deserve to breathe, an abusive alcoholic towards me only, no longer in my life and mother wishes she told her weeks ago the entire thing is ridiculous and attention seeking but she is duty bound to go. No body wants to upset my sister for gawd knows what reasons and it is infuriating.

OP posts:
UterusUterusGhali · 10/09/2015 20:40

That so needed saying, OP. Well done!

But....I can't help but think the kids will be a bit disappointed. Ach, they'll get over it. It'll be Christmas soon. :)

jorahmormont · 10/09/2015 20:40

She is batshit crazy Grin

I am far too excited for the response.

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 10/09/2015 20:40

Your my new favourite mn'etter.

For all those saying it was nasty and harsh, what's the alternative? To let her carry on with this ridiculous charade?

Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 20:43

You should have said "stop being such a demanding wanker" Grin

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/09/2015 20:43

I think we can safely assume OP is off the sisters xmas card list!

TheIceCreamCometh · 10/09/2015 20:44

high fives bettyberry
pulls up a seat
fetches more wine for everyone

GladysTheGolem · 10/09/2015 20:44

I love you Betty.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/09/2015 20:44

well, the alcohol ban at the 'do' is obviously in case the DH has a few and gets, erm carried away IYKWIM Wink !

hesterton · 10/09/2015 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glasgowlass · 10/09/2015 20:45

I have my first MN crush!

Original poster
bettyberry · 10/09/2015 20:46

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere thats just it! the charade has been going on for 10 years or so (since she got with her partner) 8 or so years for me where I got back in contact.

Did I mention I did go NC with a chunk of my family because of this kind of twatfuckery?

OP posts:
WankerDeAsalWipe · 10/09/2015 20:48

I vote betty for PM.

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 10/09/2015 20:50

Your my new favourite mn'etter

You're, I meant.

Patapouf · 10/09/2015 20:51

Shock well done OP

WeAllFloat · 10/09/2015 20:52

Op......I salute you.

selsigfach · 10/09/2015 20:53

Best thread ever. You have to swear you'll update us with the fallout though!

Original poster
bettyberry · 10/09/2015 20:55

hesterton I did that before and do you know what happened? I did it face to face, I explained calmly what the problem was. She changed the entire story, branded me a liar, twisted it in such a way that my grandparents refused to talk to me for an entire year.

I haven't humiliated her any more than she has already done to herself by throwing the party and laying out those demands.

OP posts:
ShizeItsWeegie · 10/09/2015 20:55

I think you have done the right thing OP. sometimes it has to be said and putting it on FB is seen as the nuclear option by some but as you say she is prone to twisting, she is reaping what she has sown. Maybe she wouldn't be as nuttily attention seeking if she had been told straight like this while ago. Stick with it. We all have had last straw moments. This is yours. A big fuck up from her needs a big gesture from someone honest and close to her. It may not make a difference but at least you will have tried.....

Crazypetlady · 10/09/2015 21:00

This thread is so good I've missed my tv program I'm glued.

PHANTOMnamechanger · 10/09/2015 21:03

which family member tagged everyone else under your comment on fb? and have any of them liked, commented?

did the tagger intend the tagging as 'support' for you, or was it a 'wtf is betty doing, someone sort her out' ?

Original poster
bettyberry · 10/09/2015 21:05

ShizeItsWeegie thank you. She has been getting away with it for a long time and people are walking around on eggshells whenever she is around. There are subjects we are not allowed to discuss while she is there because she moans to mother who then has a go at me and my siblings about it.

My sister tells us off if we are dressed 'inappropriately'. All of us are cursed blessed with massive mammaries and these things are hard to contain. We have to cover up! The reason she gave to a younger sister 'My husband has to see that!'

She is convinced we will run off with her husband. I think that stems from her dads affairs more than us but still... I laughed it off though. I don't go for younger men!

I know she needs therapy but first she needs that massive metaphorical slap to the face for her to realise it.

OP posts:
InternationalEspionage · 10/09/2015 21:07

Betty Flowers

I have a sister like yours, I think. I hope you are ok. I know this is funny, but I am also feeling for your anger and sense this is you throwing a big familial albatross off your back. Sad stuff.....

Now can we take bets on what happens next Grin

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