Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with DH

65 replies

Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:31

I'm in hospital as a day patient, nothing serious but I've had to have a general so I can't do much.
"D" H has been pretty uninterested. He decided to go to work this morning, even though he said he would work from home which means I have had to drive myself in and spend the day alone. He's just called and said he's going to walk over to see me. Except I'm in a completely different hospital, which he has clearly overlooked. AIBU to feel neglected and frankly fucked off with his total disinterest?

OP posts:
nottheOP · 10/09/2015 13:33

Yanbu, you need grapes, flowers and chocolate, surely? Hopefully he'll redeem himself

TurquoiseCat · 10/09/2015 13:35

Not at all! He's got some serious twunt points to work off!

Are you okay to drive after a general? My mums always had to have someone with her when she's gone under?

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:35

And now I'm crying ffs.

He needs to now organise a lift so he can collect me and the car in time to pick the DCs up at 3pm. I'm going to be here forever waiting for him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:35

I'm not allowed to drive...

OP posts:
TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 10/09/2015 13:36

I thought you couldn't drive for 24 hours (or something) after a general?

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 10/09/2015 13:37

X post. What an idiot. Did he seriously not think of any of this?

TurquoiseCat · 10/09/2015 13:38

Right. He is in charge of EVERYTHING tonight. Kids, bedtime, dinner, cleaning up. And you require a magnum of champagne. Minimum.

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 13:38

Oh sweetheart, I had a GA a week ago and I'm still not right. DH was rubbish until he came to pick me up and a nurse told him what support I would need. He has honestly been great and I usually do everything round here. Get your discharge nurse to speak to him.
Feel better soon Flowers

MissingPanda · 10/09/2015 13:40

YANBU

What Telephone said

TheBunnyOfDoom · 10/09/2015 13:40

YANBU, sounds very selfish. Hopefully whoever discharges you tells you exactly what care you need and he starts to step up.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:47

He's not selfish as such, he just needs things explaining to him in words of one extra short syllable.
He's going to have to get my parents to give him a lift here. And God love them. But my parents can turn any minor medical procedure in to a drama of epic proportions Sad

OP posts:
Houseworkavoider · 10/09/2015 13:52

I hope your Dh pulls his finger out and is a star latter.
FlowersCakeBrewWine

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 13:52

Mine too but my nurse was very patient with him Hmm. Hope he sorts himself out! My DH has been really good and it has had the added benefit of making him realise exactly just how much I do every day.
Take any help offered and do nothing that you don't need to.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 10/09/2015 13:55

I think a grown adult shouldn't need it spelling out that when someone is in hospital for an operation, they will need to be looked after.

Still, you know him better than we do - maybe he was just worried and didn't want to show it. I hope you feel better.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:57

He's just functionally thick. Unfortunately.

OP posts:
catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 14:00

Chipped, I can relate to "functionally thick" Grin

TheBunnyOfDoom · 10/09/2015 14:02

Grin love that phrase!

Topseyt · 10/09/2015 14:07

What a dolt he sounds. Why didn't he drive you to the hospital this morning. He should have realised that you would be unable to drive after the procedure, and it would have made much more sense for him to have the car, especially as he needed to pick the kids up later.

He is an arse. Speak to your discharge nurse if you get the chance before he arrives to take you home. Ask if she will drum into him how much you need looking after for now.

I agree that he must be in charge of everything tonight as already suggested above. I would say also for the next few days.

SheSparkles · 10/09/2015 14:10

To take your parents out of the equation is him
Getting a taxi to the hospital feasible? You will need help afte a GA though -I've had a few and they've knocked more out of me than the procedure I've had them for has Flowers in case he overlooks them!

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 14:17

He turned up with my DF, then had a long conversation about who is picking the DCs up. Confused
I told them to sort it, DF then said I seem a bit peed off. Yup!

OP posts:
Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 16:53

Well DH (now known as DickHead) is coming to see me later, with the DCs.

Apparently I'm not being very helpful!

OP posts:
cailindana · 10/09/2015 16:56

Eh? Did he say you're not being helpful???

SaucyJack · 10/09/2015 16:56

"Functionally thick!"

Ha! I have one of those.

Poor man- having to do his own thinking for a change.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 16:59

I can't leave until I pee and as I can't pee on DH's command I can't tell him when I can leave.

I'm actually very upset. His attitude has been unusually shit.

OP posts:
catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 16:59

Please speak to the ward staff before he comes and ask them to tell him what you will need for the next few days. I think he needs to hear this from someone else.
I honestly didn't realise how bad I'd feel after surgery. I have been totally honest and just said "Sorry, you're just going to have to deal with that" for anything I wasn't up to.
Mind you, you could always ask to be kept in...

Swipe left for the next trending thread