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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross with DH

65 replies

Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 13:31

I'm in hospital as a day patient, nothing serious but I've had to have a general so I can't do much.
"D" H has been pretty uninterested. He decided to go to work this morning, even though he said he would work from home which means I have had to drive myself in and spend the day alone. He's just called and said he's going to walk over to see me. Except I'm in a completely different hospital, which he has clearly overlooked. AIBU to feel neglected and frankly fucked off with his total disinterest?

OP posts:
cailindana · 10/09/2015 17:00

You poor thing, he really is being a twat.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:00

I might be in anyway as my bp is 102/57...

OP posts:
Duckdeamon · 10/09/2015 17:02

Hope you're feeling OK soon.

He has been selfish and uncaring: don't excuse him. It is not OK.

Bet he doesn't need to have things explained and managed for him at work!

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:02

Without wanting to make excuses this is very out of character for him. Shockingly so.

OP posts:
catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 17:02

If you need to stay in, get a nurse to call him and explain why.
I don't think his attitude is helping your BP.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 10/09/2015 17:04

Do not pee for 3 days!

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 17:05

Oh just realised your BP is actually low. Maybe he's trying to get it higher?

ObiWanCannoli · 10/09/2015 17:10

He's maybe worried or scared for you. My dh was like this but I'd had a seizure, he sent the neighbour with a message dc upset so he'd tried to see me tomorrow. Neighbour was lovely.

Eventually when he turned off his Borg function he could communicate and became extra kind, helpful and generally lovely.

Hopefully your dh will sort himself out soon.

Hassled · 10/09/2015 17:18

Does he have issues around sickness etc - I know I have a tendency to be "for god's sake pull yourself man" when my nearest and dearest are ill but I'm actually using that to mask my catastrophising and general anxiety. Could it be something like that?

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:27

Nope, unfortunately he's just being a Dick.

OP posts:
bilbodog · 10/09/2015 17:34

If you want to go home tell them you have peed even if you haven't. I learnt that when I was age 7 having my tonsils out - they wouldn't let me out until I had 'opened my bowels' nd I had to stay in an extra day and have vile medicine. I've just come out of hospital having had a knee replacement and just said 'yes' when they asked. It was never going to happen without my usual routine and breakfast !

Namechangenell · 10/09/2015 17:34

Wow - you poor thing. It's at times like this people show their true colours. What an absolute arse he's being. Focus on you and he'lol just have to deal with the rest. In some ways, it would be great if you were to stay in an extra night as he'd then see just how much you do at home.

Do you have a good friend who can come and visit at least once you're home?

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 17:39

They want to measure my pee, so I can't fake it!
He's apparently coming at 6.15. With the DCs, just what I want.

OP posts:
Hassled · 10/09/2015 18:36

Hope he's sorted himself out by then. If this isn't what he's usually like, it really is bizarre behaviour. I think getting someone else to spell it out to him is a really good idea.

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/09/2015 18:40

My DH doesn't respond well when I'm really ill either. Hugs op xxxx

LindyHemming · 10/09/2015 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 18:46

I'm trying not to be a bitch but I'm so cross.
Said he would be here at 6.15, called at 6.30 saying he would be here at 7.30 as he's off to drop the DCs at my Mum's, because its a school night!?!?

I've verbally tore him a new hole and he's coming over now. I probably wouldn't mind if he grovelled a little bit, but he isn't. I've told him I'm one step closer to divorcing him helpful

On the bright side I can pee and shuffle so I should be home tonight.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 10/09/2015 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 10/09/2015 18:49

A lot of men don't like it when their wives are ill, incredibly knobbish behaviour. I think you see someones true character in situations like this.

SingingSamosa · 10/09/2015 20:17

My DH is really rubbish when it comes to me being ill or incapacitated too. I recently had to have a colonoscopy done (a fairly regular thing as I have IBD) and because DH said he would be far too busy with work (even though he was working from home on that day), I had to have the procedure done without sedation - in order for me to be able to drive myself home afterwards. It was agony!

catzpyjamas · 10/09/2015 20:27

Samosa Shock

Chipped, I hope you got home and are being waited on, hand and foot.

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 10/09/2015 20:30

Hope you're ok.

FoxesSitOnBoxes · 10/09/2015 20:31

Hope you are home and he's stopped being a dickFlowers

Original poster
Chippednailvarnish · 10/09/2015 20:40

I'm home and he's washing up. I'm going to not discuss it until I am feeling a bit less "foggy" as its not worth the argument. He'll probably apologise tomorrow which will calm me a bit!

Samosa that's very unkind of him, mine is a knob at times but this is an exceptional example.

Thanks for all the good wishes!

OP posts:
EngTech · 10/09/2015 21:18

Hope you feeling a bit better

From a male perspective - I got my ear bent for being a "Mother Hen" and to stop fussing when my OH had a GA !!!!!

But at least I tried to do the right thing