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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not being arsed about the house being in his sole name for now?

57 replies

ThaiRice · 10/09/2015 13:23

Our house is actually officially DP's house as I am not on the mortgage or deeds.

Originally he put around ??20k on the deposit. I contributed ??2.5k. Since then we have jointly paid the mortgage but obviously on paper, I have no rights.

The idea was that we'd get the house in both names when the time came to remortgage. This time is now fast approaching (October) and now that DP has looked into it, he's apparantly discovered that it will cost us a fortune in stamp duty to change the title deeds or something.

We're getting married in May so my legal protection will come from the marriage from then on anyway so I'm tempted to just wait until we're legally married and then I have rights to the house anyway (I assume).

Part of me (cynical side) saw this coming - that the time would come to change the deeds and DP would discover 'issues' with doing so.

AIBU to think that we may as well wait until May as I would have my legal protection regarding the house after the marriage anyway or should I be pushing to get it done now? is he taking me for a mug or what?

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheLane · 10/09/2015 13:27

I think you're right to be suspicious. Stamp duty? You'd only have to pay that if you were taking on more mortgage (half of what it is) than the current Stamp Duty Land Tax.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 10/09/2015 13:28

How much is the house worth?

morecoffeethanhuman · 10/09/2015 13:29

Marriage doesn't give him joint ownership tobthe house btw

StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2015 13:29

I was nodding along until I came to

Part of me (cynical side) saw this coming - that the time would come to change the deeds and DP would discover 'issues' with doing so.

Don't you trust him? Why are you marrying him?

morecoffeethanhuman · 10/09/2015 13:29

To the *

Sighing · 10/09/2015 13:30

I previously divorced. You're better off spending money to cover your legally (and get proper wills) than you are spending it on a big party. Pay for it out of the wedding budget as it's a commitment to cover both your interests in case of 'the worst'.

Original poster
ThaiRice · 10/09/2015 13:30

Really? I thought it sounded odd.

Basically the house was ??140k.

We have paid off around ??26k

So we need to remortgage for around ??115.

Both working full time. No debts. But we want to change the deeds and mortgage from his name to a joint account.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThaiRice · 10/09/2015 13:31

just to make it clear, I don't want 50/50 ownership as I realise he has paid a lot more into it than me. I just want my share protected and legal protection from a) being thrown out of it and b) from my kids getting nothing should I die.

OP posts:
Micah · 10/09/2015 13:32

Do you have legal protection after marriage?

I think it gets complicated in that you have to prove that you have "contributed"- paid for repairs, towards mortgage, upkeep and the like. You would need legal advice, and your share would be decided on him much you contribute. I'm not sure the marriage certificate make any difference to that.

You would need to be very careful to keep the evidence of what you pay- receipts, bank statements. My dp is not on my mortgage and all payments for the house are made from my account, so he technically couldn't prove any money he might give me is for the house.

Also, did you move in at the same time? You likely will have signed a document for the mortgage company declining any rights to the property.

If I were you I'd get some proper legal advice and go from there.

kewtogetin · 10/09/2015 13:32

Get a trust deed for now, if he baulks at that I think you've got bigger problems to be honest.....

Moonatic · 10/09/2015 13:33

Imagine your dp is run over by a bus tonight. If you name isn't on the house deeds and he hasn't left it to you in his will, then you may find yourself homeless.

NoMoreRenting · 10/09/2015 13:33

We moved the house from one name to both. No stamp duty is payable for this. None. I hope alarm bells are deafening you at this moment.

fairyfeatures · 10/09/2015 13:34

I am in the same situation as you Thairice with very similar input values. Time has come to remortgage and I am getting married next year. Thinking about it, are you me??

Anyway, time to remortgage and I said to DH2B, he should just remortgage in his name as he put substantially larger deposit down than me. He is point blank refusing and is definitely the 'whats mine is yours, vice versa' kind. Anyhow the cost of adding my name to the deeds is ??250, that's all. No other charges than what he would pay to remortgage anyway.

On the forms, he is able to protect his ??20k deposit so should you part ways, he will still recover his deposit. Again my DH2B is having none of it, but I would certainly not claim it if the worst happened, and would make sure he got his ??20k one way or the other. Not sure what happens then when you are married, but I think it will be 50/50 then.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 10/09/2015 13:34

I'm no financial expert but it doesn't sound like the house is worth enough to mean you have to pay stamp duty on remortgaging.

OP if I were you I would make an appointment with a financial advisor and ask them....so you know what's what yourself. No point listening and nodding along if it's not true is it?

Or....make an appointment and then tell DP you want to both go together. If he kicks up a stink then you know that you've got an issue.

Collaborate · 10/09/2015 13:34

As you're getting married you're right that the marriage would give you legal protection in the event of separation.

It doesn't protect you though if he has creditors and/or he is made bankrupt.

Stamp Duty would be payable only if the mortgage outstanding is greater than ??250k. See this

Original poster
ThaiRice · 10/09/2015 13:35

How do we get legal advice without spending a fortune on solicitors? I keep telling him we need to go and seek proper legal advice and he always refuses saying he'll "Look into it" first. But it's got to the stage where I don't want him to keep "looking into it" - I want us to go together and speak to someone whether it be a solicitor or a mortgage advisor.

Why won't he do that?

OP posts:
Collaborate · 10/09/2015 13:36

Just seen your 13.30 post OP. There's no SD to pay. Get married quick!

TheHouseOnTheLane · 10/09/2015 13:36

Don't high street banks offer a free advisory service? Just use two or three of those....see who offers what and in the process, you will learn about any "costs" Hmm

OP you're right to be concerned.

fairyfeatures · 10/09/2015 13:36

Reading Micahs post, I would advise that if you do not have a joint account, you get one that you both pay the mortgage in to and the mortgage DD comes out of at the very least, at least that way you can prove you are paying half the mortgage.

MakeItACider · 10/09/2015 13:37

Get him to sign a contract assigning you 50% beneficial ownership of the property. This doesn't have to be registered with Land Registration, so no cost implications.

If he refuses to do that then you have a relationship problem i'm afraid.

yorkshapudding · 10/09/2015 13:39

Surely, if you have to ask whether he is "taking you for a mug" you should be having a serious think about whether you should be getting married at all. You're clearly suspicious of his motives and I don't blame you since the stamp duty thing sounds like complete bollocks. The bigger question is why would you entertain the idea of marrying someone you clearly don't trust?

fairyfeatures · 10/09/2015 13:39

Also, I don't mean to sound flippant of 250 pounds either. I appreciate that this can be a small fortune.

kewtogetin · 10/09/2015 13:39

I think you've hit the nail on the head OP. He doesn't want your name on the mortgage/deeds so it's time to question why, time to question why he lied to you about the non-existent stamp duty payment and time to question why you're marrying this man.

NoMoreRenting · 10/09/2015 13:40

Why won't he do that?,

Really? You need to ask? He clearly isn't keen on putting the house in both your names. You need to ask yourself why. You need to ask him why. Tell him you've looked into it yourself and it will cost you ??50 admin (true) and that you don't think keeping it in his name is the way forward into marriage (hopefully true)

MidnightVelvetthe3rd · 10/09/2015 13:40

He's doing this as it benefits him & he doesn't want to change the status quo to benefit you.

I'd be interested in your financial relationship tbh, do you share money? Do you know how much he earns for example?

As you were correct in your instinct last time, what do your instincts tell you about trusting him?

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