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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is my baby being u?

77 replies

ReRegRhonda · 10/09/2015 12:50

My baby is 15 short weeks old. He's ebf on demand and cries when he needs something. Yesterday my dm had hold of him and he started to make a noise, like a half cough half cry, just a shout to let us know he needed something - he's started to shout/make noise like this rather than all out cry. So my dm said he was trying to force himself to cry because he wanted attention because he's spoilt! My aibu is, am I actually spoiling the child, can babies force a cry for attention at 3 months or is my mum crackers? I genuinely can't decide, I feel that babies this small can't be 'spoilt' but she's made me wonder!

OP posts:
MadrigalElectromotive · 10/09/2015 12:52

She is bonkers. Babies that young aren't able to manipulate people.

Just carry on with what you're doing and ignore her.

Seeline · 10/09/2015 12:52

Babies can't be spoilt!
Nor can they 'pretend' to cry to get attention that starts at about 2
He's just discovered that he can make a different sound and is experimenting.
Your Mum is crackers Grin

RachelZoe · 10/09/2015 12:52

Your mum is crackers, absolutely crackers.

Bullshitbingo · 10/09/2015 12:52

She's crackers!
Yes babies do learn behaviours to get your attention. No that does not make them 'spoilt' utter tosh.

Ohfourfoxache · 10/09/2015 12:54

She's batshit - just smile, nod and ignore.

duckbilled · 10/09/2015 12:54

Don't listen to her dribble!

Original poster
ReRegRhonda · 10/09/2015 12:54

Thank god! She keeps saying that he's spoilt. Because I rock him to sleep (I can't get him to self settle yet), feed him on demand and try to feed to cues without him crying etc. I knew she was mental.

OP posts:
WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 10/09/2015 12:54

You cannot spoil a newborn! He's 15 weeks old, the only way he has of communicating is to cry.

Your mum is bonkers, ffs!!

LaContessaDiPlump · 10/09/2015 12:55

Oh, of course babies will cry out for attention at 3 months.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't give them some, though! Poor babies.

Your mum is being a bit daft.

WhatTheJeffHasGoneOnHere · 10/09/2015 12:55

Oh, my 1 year old coughs at me purely for attention. But he's 1, and it's funny.

BathshebaDarkstone · 10/09/2015 12:55

Your mum's crackers. He's FIFTEEN WEEKS OLD! He wouldn't even understand the concept of forcing himself to cry!

Original poster
ReRegRhonda · 10/09/2015 12:58

Grin I knew it! I have always blindly taken what my mum says as gospel but since having ds I've realised she talks a lot of shit old fashioned nonsense.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 10/09/2015 13:00

In the nicest possible way, ignore your mum and trust your instincts. Self-settling is useful but something that, generally, happens much later. And it will be years and years before he'll be able to wait patiently for your attention.

MadameJosephine · 10/09/2015 13:01

She's barmy. Responding to your baby's needs is not spoiling. I cant understand it when people say babies 'just want attention'. Their need for your love and attention is just as valid as their need for food and water! You enjoy your lovely new baby, cuddle him all day long, he won't be a baby for long so make the most of it (very jealous, my baby boy is currently packing for uni)

noiwontstoptalking · 10/09/2015 13:03

You are right, your Mum is crackers.

Small babies cry to communicate that's all.

You can't spoil a baby.

Original poster
ReRegRhonda · 10/09/2015 13:03

Ah I do love my snuggles, it makes me sad that I have to put him down sometimes Grin. She loves telling me that my cousins' babies who are 5 and 6 months old can self settle and sleep through the night. Mine is currently having a sleep regression and she knows it. cow

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 10/09/2015 13:05

She's crackers for sure, but there's a lot of it about. There's a whole other thread running about a similar issue - a parenting describing their 7 month old baby as 'naughty'.

Pretty scary stuff

Sighing · 10/09/2015 13:14

I was a stuck at the end of the garden in the pram to 'get on with it' until my feed was actually due. I did not thrive well until solids were introduced.

Original poster
ReRegRhonda · 10/09/2015 13:19

Lotta- Surely babies that age have no concept of naughty?!

Sighing- That's awful, ds is thriving and gaining lots of weight so I must be doing something right.

OP posts:
Lottapianos · 10/09/2015 13:24

No of course they don't ReRegRhonda and they're not capable of being wilfully difficult. You know that, and I know that, but not everyone does it seems!

Alexjoy · 10/09/2015 13:27

She is totally crackers.

And it's not even Christmas!

ppeatfruit · 10/09/2015 13:28

Can someone link to the other thread for Reg ? Grin

Your DM is talking rubbish believe me. Reg

Booboostwo · 10/09/2015 13:29

Sorry but your DM is completely crackers. Your baby is not spoilt, he is looked after. Ignore her.

TimeToMuskUp · 10/09/2015 13:31

Both of mine were picked up and held constantly, both were ebf on demand, both co-slept. Neither has grown up (9 and 4) so far to be anything other than happy, healthy children. It's not possible to spoil them with affection. With treats, toys and junk food, yes. With love, no.

Self-settling and soothing takes longer than 15 weeks, and I think older generations tend to look back on their own babies through rose tinted glasses. Take it with a pinch of salt and parent whichever way suits you both best.

nottheOP · 10/09/2015 13:31

She's not bonkers, it is just how she did it along with everyone in her generation. In 30 years time, the next generation will be weaning at 7.3 months, breastfeeding will be replaced by frog's milk, napping will be deemed unnecessary and this generation of parents will be berated for being out of touch.

Just nod and smile, then ignore!