to think we don't need godparents?

[lilyb84]

Expecting first DC in January. Have several good friends who'll be 'aunt' this and 'uncle' that, I'm sure. DH has already mentioned to one that he can be godparent - I don't think entirely seriously.

We're not religious, my own godparents were my aunt and uncle who I've never been close to and who certainly didn't provide any guide of moral guidance - or anything else - in my life.

I don't see the need for our DC to have godparents and would rather avoid potentially putting people's noses out of joint if we were to pick one person or couple over others.

AIBU? Do (non-religious) people still have godparents? Or come to think of it, christenings which I also don't want?

[MissBattleaxe]

Gosh some religious people have rather fixed views don't they

But we're talking about a religious ceremony so I think religious people are entitled to have an opinion about that.

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

We had a naming ceremony and chose 4 supporting adults who do the 'godparent' thing - they are just friends who we wanted to have a closer connection with DS.

We also have two legal guardians named and three trustees.

Small family (just me, DP and DS) - gotta think about these things.

[IssyStark]

Battleaxe our kids were not christening but we had a naming ceremony and had 'sponsors' for them who we call godparents because people understand that relationship.

They are they to be special (non-related) aunties and uncles. An adult who the kids can turn to if they need someone who isn't their mum and dad to talk to, an adult with whom they have a close relationship but whom they know will not be judgmental if they need help.

[Groovee]

My children have special friends who were at their naming ceremony. They basically do the job of a godparent. I had no one to turn to as a child, where as I feel if my children had these role models who they could turn into if they needed someone who wasn't their parents.

One set are the family without blood (close enough to us to consider them family) and the other set are a blood related auntie and uncle.

[mrsnec]

I'm christened and so is dh but we're both agnostic. We had pressure from family to christen dd because we live in a very religious country and she could be excluded from things at school if I had said we were not religious so I get all the benefits of having a christening without having to have had the ceremony just by putting c of e on her paperwork which suited me. Regarding godparents we might actually have them but without having a christening. Dh has a relative who was best man at our wedding but not a witness and didn't feel important enough so we were going to make him godfather to make him feel better. But we would have had to pay for his flights to a christening so we didn't have one.

Also in my family there are a couple who might not be able to have children of their own and they have lots of godchildren because some people think that's helpful for them to be godparents. All of the parents make sure this couple see their godchildren regularly and are part of their lives.

My godparents were aunts and uncles and I was never that close to them but it's each to their own isn't it.

[Laquila]

Interesting thread. I wasn't christened (and therefore don't have have godparents) as I was prem and very ill, and the hospital chaplain wanted to get me baptised asap. My parents seemed to want to make a point that because they were adamant I was going to survive, I didn't need immediate baptism, and then I think they wanted it continue making that point for the next thirty-odd years! I consider myself a Christian, though.

I haven't had my son baptised as my husband is an atheist. I do agree with a pp who said that they find non-believers getting married in church less strange/confusing than non-believers having their kids baptisd in church.

[mightypissedoff]

I am a Christian and have not had my DD christened. I am firmly of the belief that children should decide if they wish to follow a religion and my DD is getting baptised in a couple of months, She will be 19 and it is totally her choice.

I always seems stange to me why people of no faith have christenings if they do not intend to follow that religion.

[AliMonkey]

A PP said you can't have godparents without christening. We do - we had a dedication for the DC (so a Christian ceremony promising to bring them up in a Christian way it leaving them to make the decision for baptism themselves when they are older). It was also something that DH could truthfully agree to without him having to make statements he didn't believe, as he isn't a Christian. He has though made them as godparent at oue god daughter's Christening, which I was slightly uncomfortable with but then as her parents aren't Christians it was OK with them as they were doing it themselves!

[PurpleDaisies]

MissBattleaxe some Christians don't think that baptising a baby is right because the child can't make the decision themselves to follow Jesus, and baptism is just an outward sign to others showing that you've decided to do that. So I. Put church we have many children who have Christian parents and are being brought up as part of the church but they won't be baptised until they themselves choose that they want to do it if that makes sense. The role of the godparents there would be exactly the same as godparents of christened babies.

[PurpleDaisies]

Oops-in our church not I. Put church above.