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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think some depression is incurable

59 replies

Shiningdew · 08/09/2015 17:02

If someone won't take tablets and counselling or other therapy isn't an option, then what happens - do you just put up with it (for the record its me i'm talking about!)

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 08/09/2015 17:06

My dh's depression is incurable with meds and therapy and he has been trying for 20 odd years.

Depression is often manageable, not curable in many people.

And yes, if someone won't take meds or get therapy they have to put up with it. It might go away for a while and come back again. I have had short periods of depression that did go away without treatment but it came back again a few years later.

TheoriginalLEM · 08/09/2015 17:10

May I ask why you wont take medication or counselling? I suffer from depression and anxiety - i have had both and am still on meds. I expect to be on them for life.

You do not have to put up with it! There are lots of things you can do to help yourself. There are online CBT courses that might suit you if you are more of a private person.

I find that exercise helps me immeasurably. Best thing i ever did for my mental health was buy a pair of trainers. I couldnt manage without medication though.

Original poster

Shiningdew · 08/09/2015 17:14

I can't afford therapy and to be honest I can't even afford meds at the moment, but anyway I don't think I'd take them even if I could.

OP posts:

Lottapianos · 08/09/2015 17:15

Agree very strongly with LEM. Fellow depression sufferer here and there is a very real danger of getting stuck in a rut with it, and accepting it as just the way you are. It doesn't have to be that way!

Exercise is utterly bloody marvellous, if you're at the stage where you feel you have enough energy to manage it. Even a 20 minute brisk walk outside every day would be brilliant.

Why not meds OP? And why not therapy? They're 2 separate approaches although many people use them together. Another question - do you feel that your depression is a reaction to a particular thing, or do you feel its more organic, like maybe a chemical imbalance?

SacredHeart · 08/09/2015 17:16

Beating in mind how difficult it can be and how long the wait for counselling I do not understand why anyone would not do it? Meds I can understand as it can be a never ending cycle trying to find the right ones.

Depending on the level and the support from others (and the response to that support) then little improvement can be expected at best and a sliding slope into worse depression and potential harm at worst.

Lottapianos · 08/09/2015 17:17

Sorry, you just answered 2 of my questions! You can have therapy on the NHS, short term. X

Wheretheresawill1 · 08/09/2015 17:17

You need a combination of medication at higher than usual limits for treatment resistant depression plus psychology plus lifestyle changes
Look up Californian rocket fuel

Original poster

Shiningdew · 08/09/2015 17:19

Too short term to make any difference and a long waiting list.

Thanks for answers but I definitely don't want pills. There's a history of addiction in our family and I won't go into it but I don't currently take any medication; I won't even take the pill (and never have.)

OP posts:

KittyandTeal · 08/09/2015 17:20

I have bipolar II. I was medicated but had to come off before ttc dd1 (who is almost 3)

I never went back on it. I cannot have ssris as they send me manic. I manage my condition by working part-time to reduce stress, I have lots of help with dd1, I have had lots of therapy to deal with underlying issues and to recognise when my mood dips (I've not been manic for years now) I exercise at least 3 times a week - any less and my mood dips, and I eat well - lots of fruits and veg, well balanced etc.

I still have low times but they are no longer crippling. We lost dd2 in jan, it could have been a trigger for a huge depressive episode however I got myself off to specialist counselling to help me learn how to deal with grief (I don't do stream emotions well) and so far I have been ok, as ok as you can be.

I would say depression can be managed without medication in some cases but it takes a huge life change. My lifestyle change wouldn't have worked in managing my condition before dd1, I was so unstable that medication was the only option.

BrandNewAndImproved · 08/09/2015 17:21

My dad has had clinical depression since he was a teen. Hes been sectioned, years and years and years of therapy and meds and he still has depressive downward spirals frequently. Hes in his 50s now.

I think 'normal' depression is more upto you and if your willing to tackle core issues and make lifestyle changes.

Original poster

Shiningdew · 08/09/2015 17:23

Yes, I think this is it - I'm in no danger of being sectioned and I guess it doesn't really impact on my day to day life; well obviously it does but I can function, I just feel shit all the time!

OP posts:

KittyandTeal · 08/09/2015 17:23

I know nhs counselling is short term but in many cases they will extend it if the therapist thinks it's needed. I've done this.

There are some places that offer therapy at greatly reduced rates. That might be a look. Is it simply finances or is there another reason you don't see counselling as a viable option?

SacredHeart · 08/09/2015 17:24

Meditation and mindfulness can help, maybe look for your local Buddhist centre.

Again, severity affects your options really. But mild depression (as I have) for some people can be kept in check with exercise, mindfulness and reduction of stress.

pointythings · 08/09/2015 17:25

My mum has depression - for very good reasons, life events and lots of stress day to day. My father has dementia and is in a nursing home. They've been married for 49 years and for the past year have had to live apart. It won't get better - when my dad finally dies, that's more sorrow.

She won't take ADs - has tried one kind, didn't get on with them, won't try alternatives. Won't entertain the idea of counselling. It's to see her like this, but she won't be helped.

Badders123 · 08/09/2015 17:27

It's a real shame you won't try non additive anti depressants.
They save lives.

PacificDogwood · 08/09/2015 17:30

Yes, depression can be a chronic condition, like diabetes or epilepsy, but that does not mean that it is not treatable.
And it can of course 'lift' again in some cases.

Have a look at the MIND website
Also have a look at MoodScope and MoodGym - both online self-help tools.
Beating The Blues is another online self-guided resource that need a licence holder to refer you and may not be available everywhere.

Have you spoken to your GP about how you feel?
I totally agree with others here, you do not just have to accept to feel bad

kesstrel · 08/09/2015 17:32

One symptom of depression is to keep rejecting ideas for ways of making things better. Because you don't think they will work/ don't think the effort will be worth it. At the time this feels rational; looking back, once you are better, you can see that it wasn't.

yorkshapudding · 08/09/2015 17:33

You can get therapy (usually CBT) for depression free on the NHS. There will most likely be a wait for this but it's free and an alternative to medication if you're not keen on going down that route. If your local Trust has an IAPT service you can self refer over the phone.

Many people have one depressive episode and recover fully. For some, yes, depression is a chronic and enduing problem but it can usually be managed to an extent with the right treatment or support. A trial and error approach may be needed and if you are able to keep an open mind about different treatment approaches then you're more likely to find something that works for you.

PacificDogwood · 08/09/2015 17:33

"Californian Rocket Fuel" - never heard that expression and had to look it up, but it is a powerful combination of well recognised meds, with or without the flippant name

Itsmine · 08/09/2015 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Shiningdew · 08/09/2015 17:43

Badders, but my life isn't at risk - posts like that make me think i'm probably not depressed to be honest. Maybe I'm not as I can't imagine killing myself - I don't want to be alive but when I think of poor people flinging themselves under a train I feel so far from that. Mostly I just feel detached.

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 08/09/2015 17:45

Sorry OP. I read your post wrong and thought you were talking about someone else, not you.

to you.

Badders123 · 08/09/2015 17:47

I think saying you dont want to be here is pretty conclusive evidence you are depressed.
Took me a while to find one that worked tbh - I am unlucky in that I am allergic to Prozac!

Badders123 · 08/09/2015 17:48

I also think your current state of mind..."no point trying that it won't work" is also indicative of depression

PacificDogwood · 08/09/2015 17:53

Depression is so much more than feeling sad: the detachment you mention, lack of concentration, memory being poor, the inability to enjoy things that you'd previously found enjoyable - all those can be part of depression (and some more: anxiety often goes hand in had with low mood too). Over- or under sleeping and eating are common. Just 'not caring' anymore, the passive 'I don't want to be here anymore' rather than active suicidality is really common.

I agree with those who've said that your assertion that nothing will help and therefore is not point in trying, is part of the illness. It's the depression speaking, not you.

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