To think some depression is incurable

[Shiningdew]

If someone won't take tablets and counselling or other therapy isn't an option, then what happens - do you just put up with it (for the record its me i'm talking about!)

Stahl psychopharmacology for those interested in Californian rocket fuel

Shining, none of us here can diagnose you. Many of the things you've written suggest that you may well be depressed, but that's something you'd have to pursue in RL.
Equally we can all post about our own experiences or those of people we know, but nothing posted here is necessarily the right way forward for you.

Help is out there, you do not have to feel as you do forever, but the help will not find you, you have to go out and find it. Posting about it is such an important step, maybe you can make another one in a direction that will help find out more about what's wrong with you and access some help?
As others have said, sometimes you have to try more than one therapeutic option, but it surely is worth it to even try for the possibility of feeling better or even 'cure'?

You are worth having a go at more happiness than what you are currently able to feel. Please seek some RL medical advice.

That's interesting Wheretheresawill. I'm currently on venlafaxine 300mg, which seems to be keeping me at a functional level at least. Fingers crossed it keeps me treading water. My psychiatrist has mentioned that he will be considering lithium next if I go downhill again with the venlafaxine - I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, but if it does I guess I would rather take lithium all my life and fuck my kidneys than end up in a really low period again. I think venlafaxine has def been the most effective drug I've had so far (I certainly wasn't well enough on anything else to cope with the busy full time job I now have) so hopefully it will continue to work.

Another thing, I wasn't totally honest at counseling. There were things from my childhood which I'd managed to convince myself weren't a problem (they were uncomfortable, shaming things) so I didn't mention them.

It was only when I finally did, years later, different counseling, that I felt recovered. So check you aren't hiding anything, deliberately or not, when you speak to a GP or counselor.

The impractical cat- I am on lithium now- I've had no side effects. I was well on the rocket fuel combo but after 10yrs was finding the side effects difficult- weight and sweats- I'm 5 stone heavier and my clothes were soaking. However if there was no option available I'd have put up with those side effects as it gave me a normalish sort of life. The aim now is to reduce venlafaxine down to 225mg and stop Mirtazapine.

Being fat was the worst thing for my mood. I never got over doubling my body weight on drugs like olanzapine, quetiapine - I've lost 4 stone since I stopped those drugs. I hated the comments I got from people surprised by my rapid weight gain- I also see this in the patients I look after

Oh yeah I hate being fat as well - I want to lose it but I also want to eat.

So is there an alternative to medication? Genuinely interested. My Fil won't take his meds and I don't know what else to suggest.

Shiningdew, there are meds that will not pile weight on you.
I think you need to make an active decision to seek help - it is out there, but it won't find you unless you go looking for it. I know how hard that can be when you are in the midst of it all and apathy has you in its grips

MsAdorabelle, in a nutshell and IMVHO there's not much you can do. You FiL has to reach the conclusion that he does not wish to live like this any more.
What you can do is change your own responses to your FiL's problems. Don't enable him. Have firm boundaries in place about what you will and won't do for him ("I'm happy to take you to your dr's appointment. I will not go over the same ground with you again re. how you feel"). Don't fall in to some co-dependent trap.
Tbh, I think it sounds like your/your FiL's situation may be worth a whole new thread of its own