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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think someone else should just have given her a seat!?

69 replies

ollieplimsoles · 07/09/2015 14:09

Sorry its a Daily Fail article (hope link works)

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3224978/Eight-months-pregnant-woman-forced-stand-train-half-hour-businessman-refused-seat-d-booked.html

it seems like we see this or a variation of this every other day on here. Yes he was an ass hole for not moving but are you really telling me that NO ONE else stood up and just gave her their seat?

OP posts:
WaitingForEgg · 07/09/2015 14:16

Agreed he is an arsehole for not moving and of course someone should have offered her their seat, or at least intervened and told him to move. I don't really understand why she didn't speak to the conductor though, she had the seat booked, they would have asked him to move or found her another.

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 07/09/2015 14:20

I also find it strange that no one else offered a seat.

It sounds like the reservations system was not working so this must be what man was relying on. But it would have been common courtesy to give up a seat.

I also find it hard to understand why she didn't go and find a member of staff to help her out or failing that just gone and sat in first class. If a ticket collector had then come along he/ she could have helped the woman find another seat if they didn't let her stay in first (unlikely).

Tootsiepops · 07/09/2015 14:23

I'm 30 weeks pregnant, and up-the-duff hormones are making me rage at this utter fuckwit of a man. I would have exploded in sheer temper at his shitty attitude, or I'd have burst in to hysterical tears.

I think she should have spoken to the conductor though (if there was one - do they still exist on all trains?).

TenForward82 · 07/09/2015 14:23

People have a mob mentality on trains. I once fainted on a train. No one helped.

I agree that she should have gone to get help, but maybe she didn't think to. I'm not sure I would have.

ArendelleQueen · 07/09/2015 14:24

She could have asked someone else but that wouldn't have enabled her to court publicity.

SaucyJack · 07/09/2015 14:26

Maybe there wasn't a ticket collector.

Down here, the "big" services that only stop at large stations with barriers don't have conductors.

But yeah- someone should have done the decent thing and given her a priority seat as was her due.

ollieplimsoles · 07/09/2015 14:26

I once fainted on a train. No one helped.

You must be joking..

Im 34 weeks pregnant and the thought of standing up for that long makes me feel sick..I just can't believe no one else offered her a seat, or at least told her where to find the conductor. Are trains really this nasty!?

OP posts:
diddl · 07/09/2015 14:27

Well it would have been nice if someone had given up their seat. But there was only one person at fault & that was the idiot in her seat.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 07/09/2015 14:28

I love the fact that one of the comments below blames it on the feminists. Ha ha so when are arseholes it's still all women's fault.

cuntycowfacemonkey · 07/09/2015 14:28

when men are arseholes that should say

Toughasoldboots · 07/09/2015 14:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ollieplimsoles · 07/09/2015 14:29

I love the fact that one of the comments below blames it on the feminists. Ha ha so when are arseholes it's still all women's fault.

Oh shit don't read the comments! This is the DM here..

OP posts:
Toughasoldboots · 07/09/2015 14:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TenForward82 · 07/09/2015 14:31

ollie when the ambulance turned up at the next station I heard someone in the crowd say "she hit her head on the way down" (I did). So they saw that but didn't do a facking thing.

BathshebaDarkstone · 07/09/2015 14:32

IME people don't give up their seats for pregnant women anymore, also DD was expected to sit on my lap when I was 8.5 months pregnant. There was no room! Angry

Thelushinthepub · 07/09/2015 14:33

That's national news? Shock

Helenluvsrob · 07/09/2015 14:35

Silly woman. If she's found the conductor he would have either moved the irritating man or, more likely, given her a seat in 1st class if it was available!

Moln · 07/09/2015 14:36

I always read the comments in the DM. I can't help myself.

One pointed out how it was no different to making 'a fat man' stand. I'm not sure why in his head it's fat men in particular that should also be offered a seat and not fat women. Also I'm not too sure at what weight one is supposed to offer seats to this fat men. Maybe I should go back and ask...

InimitableJeeves · 07/09/2015 14:38

It wouldn't necessarily have been that easy to find a guard. Some trains get so crowded that you can't walk through the carriages, and if she had to stand obviously this one was pretty full. Also if you're in pain from standing and have things to carry, you may not want to make a difficult journey through the train to find someone you can't be sure is even there.

JeffreysMummyisCross · 07/09/2015 14:39

She should have sat on the arrogant fucker. And farted.

jollygoose · 07/09/2015 14:41

what an arse I would have sat in his lap that would have made him move fast.

LittleRedSparkle · 07/09/2015 14:48

Not at all relevant to the arsehole in her seat, but ....

someone on the DM commented to say
"Is this the same women who hospitalized a boy when illegally driving a car?"

so i googled out of interest

She is said to be 29 in the DM article, but in the article
www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/teen-footballer-hit-by-car-941411 - they say she was 22

" Mhari-Claire Doolan, 22, of Withington"

"Mr Williams was said to have been knocked five feet in the air and a witness said the car drove past him at up to 40mph.

Doolan denies dangerous driving. She claims Mr Williams stepped into her path and she braked but could not avoid him. She says she was doing 6mph."

I wonder if it is indeed the same woman, and if it is how she aged from 22-29 between 2013-2015.....

Icouldbesogoodforyou · 07/09/2015 14:48

A previous poster mentioned 'mob mentality', it's not quite that but 'bystander effect' is a recognised social psychological phenomenon.

Basically that when in a group, people recognise that something is wrong or needs to be done but the fact of being in a group sends them into apathy as everyone expects someone else to do something and therefore no-one does.

It was researched and recognised after a woman was murdered in public with numerous witnesses but no-one did anything because it was so public that they all thought somebody else would do something.

That's an extreme example but it explains the phenomenon sometimes. Most people aren't sat there not giving a shit, they're thinking 'I'd do it but my x problem or x worry is too great and that person over there looks healthier than me so they should or what if I do something and people think I'm interfering or weird etc'.

I've been at a festival where someone got seriously assaulted, blood everywhere etc and the crowd just moved away even after the perpetrator ran off. I heard his partner screaming and wandered over to find a barely concious man on the floor. I helped and directed the partner where to run to get more help but I'm a nurse and it goes against all of my personal and professional instincts not to.

I don't think most other people in the crowd didn't give a shit or didn't care, I think they thought 'someone else, probably betters at this than I am will come along in a minute'.

I think most people ignoring a pregnant woman in distress or worse (as a PP said and how awful to have experienced that btw) fainting on a train/bus are thinking 'someone else better than me will be along in a sec and solve this'.

ollieplimsoles · 07/09/2015 14:51

LittleRedSparkle

OMG! Shock

OP posts:
wasonthelist · 07/09/2015 14:55

When I travelled regularly by train, the staff would hide from passengers if the train was busy. They'd emerge after the first few stops out of London when the crowd had thinned out a little.

Lost count of the number of times I've turfed people out of my booked seat and they have acted as if I have committed some crime by wanting to sit in the seat I'd booked, paid for, and which my trainco says I must use.