Daughter and her dad wanting to take her to uni

[vodkaredbullgirl]

My eldest is off to uni in a wk or so, the ex says he has offered to take her stuff to uni.

Bearing in mind he has only seen her about 8 times in the past few yrs.

Ive been there for her through thick and thin and stood by her through her school and college yrs.

I just feel that he is wanting to show her uni friends what a doting dad he is.

He dont give a fuck about his other daughter, mind you she dont give a dam about him.

aibu i dont want him there on her 1st day.

I got the train to university, and then my brother brought the rest of my stuff a week or so later. I think my parents visited once in the three years I was there (to be fair it was a long way from home).

My children aren't mine in any sense, they are their own people. Sure we belong together, but that doesn't give me rights I don't think, just responsibilities.

The OP is in a difficult situation with an ex who it would appear has screwed things up. I'd still leave it for the dd to decide. I don't think the first day of university is a huge deal, but then I don't expect to be upset when my children go to university. I didn't cry at their first days of school, I really enjoy them growing up and spreading their wings.

She is in halls of residence so wont be taking loads with her

Whe our eldest started at Uni, living in Hall, we filled a fairly large people-carrier with two of the three rear seats taken out - and we still had to leave a lot of stuff behind.

Blimey what did she take?

I have a Tiny Yaris.
Everything dd wants to take can fit

Ive got a KA lol should be fun packing the car up

My Mum was at work the day I went to Uni, so I went with my Dad.

Turned up at the halls, unloaded my stuff and then went on a quick food shop. Didn't see any of the other students (either not there yet or hinding in their rooms!)

I then went back home with my Dad because I couldn't bear him driving off and leaving me their

I got the train back on my own the next day. Maybe your DD will want to go with her Dad because she'll be upset leaving you!

So many errors...it's been a long day!

Can you not go with them? I did when my ex took our children to university, and we managed to pass a pleasant day as a family. You will both want to be there when she graduates.

I will be taking her myself, he said to her the offer is there if she needs help moving.

So you're already going with her, you just don't want him to be there too?
I sympathise but I don't think it's your call.

What Kanye said. And what the hell will the poor kid do about the graduation ceremony (which are usually limited to two people attending) when the parents can't be civil. She'll have to decide which one to disappoint unless they can put differences aside. So unfair on the children in these circumstances.

I personally would just ask her what her plans are and that you're happy either way. This is an exciting (and probably slightly worrying) time for her and she doesn't need it overshadowing or her worry added to.

I have no problem him going to the graduation ceremony.

Savagebeauty
Apart from the usual, clothes, shoes, books, CDs etc. we had:
Desktop computer (this was pre-laptop), electronic keybord, audio system, two (or was it three) guitars, skateboard. Even a couple of dozen coat-hangers take up quite a lot of space.