to wish my friend hadn't told everyone at work I was pregnant behind my back?

[ToesAndFingersCrossed]

I work with a friend, in a very small company, and because we are in each other's pockets all the time I told her in strictest confidence that I was pregnant. I have felt I needed to do this because I have horrid morning sickness and have been late in a few times as a result. I realise now this was a mistake.

Last night as I was leaving the office, another colleague was emptying the coffee pot which made me retch, and I made a quick apology to which he replied "oh, yeah, Friend told me you were pregnant".

AIBU to be absolutely furious with her? It appears that she told everyone at work behind my back, starting with the boss. And she knows I have had a miscarriage recently, so this is not news I was planning on sharing with people any time soon (I am just over 6 weeks).

Apart form being so, so angry at the betrayal of trust, I feel like she has taken away my chance to tell people. I have had IVF to get this baby, and have been waiting nearly 5 years to be able to tell people "I'm pregnant!". Also that was our only embryo and there are no siblings in the freezer so this is the only pregnancy I'll ever get to announce, and she's taken it away from me.

I' have confronted her and she said she felt this was "the best thing to do at the time". It pains me that in her mind "the interests of the company" were more important than our friendship.

'The interests of the company' !!!!???

She did not say that, did she? What a bunch of bullshit. I'm lost for words. She sounds like a loose mouthed fool who enjoys a gossip. You should tell her so too.

I would break of the friendship for that. Massive invasion of privacy.

She's not your friend.

She is a cow with no boundaries

Dont let this spoil things though. Just make a mental note to never tell her anything again.

She's not a friend.

She was out of order. However, I think once you have told one person, you put yourself at risk of them blabbing.

Very wrong of her, though.

How could it possibly be in the interests of the company? if she felt the company needed to know, she could have told you so and let you do it. And even then, I'm sure HR (or whoever) would have been prepared to keep it confidential from the other employees.

She is not your friend. She is simply a colleague. One who has betrayed your trust as well as possibly made others feel uncomfortable. By this, I mean I would feel uncomfortable if colleague A was pregnant and I was told by colleague B but I had to pretend I didn't know.

Keep her at arms length. Tell her nothing. Keep any talk on the purely superficial such as the weather, last night's TV. Grab the moral high ground and stay there.

But above all else, congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm very excited for you.

the only possible justification i could think of would be if someone was criticizing you in front of her for being off sick a lot, or being in a bad mood or whatever, and she was trying to stick up for you. Admittedly quite an awkward way of doing it, but she might've meant more good than harm

Not a friend. Congratulations on your news !

She is definitely not a friend anymore, that's for sure. Can't trust her again can I?

Ugh, I am fuming, totally can't concentrate at work today.

What an absolute cow!

If people were mentioning you being sick it being late then her response should have been utter silence or to tell you what's being said.

I have guessed colleagues are pregnant at work before, who hasn't, but I wouldn't dream of mentioning it to them or anyone else. Unless you are told by the pregnant person it's none of your business.

She's no friend op.

Best of luck with your pregnancy and ignore her nasty behaviour.

I would tell her that she has totally betrayed your confidence and you no longer consider her to be a friend and to contact you only for work purposes only. What a cow, it wasn't her news to tell.

That is so mean of her! Like others have said, she's not a friend.
Congratulations on the pregnancy and fingers crossed for a smooth time for you and baby

Try to stay calm, and move on, don't let stress due to this harpy get to you - you and bubs are the top priority!

I'd be furious.
I would never have any conversation with her again that wasn't necessary for work

She is not your friend. I would be terminating that friendship immediatly.

Yanbu

She is not a friend. It's bad enough that she opened her hib but free what you have been through.... It's like she knew it would be a big deal and she wanted some of the attention.

Also bear in mind if the IVF was a secret, it probably isn't now..,,

Like a pp said, the only justification is if people at work were slagging you off, and she thought she WAS being a friend by sticking up for you. Congratulations!

There was absolutely no need for her to share your news, she did it as she wanted to. She's no friend unfortunately, keep her at arms length from now on.
Harsh lesson to learn. Congrats OP

YADNBU!

What an absolute twat. She is no friend at all. She sounds like she is hanging off your coat tails too - telling your private news. I would consider putting in a complaint against her at work and also (if you are prepared) finishing the "friendship"

Congratulations on your pregnancy - I hope you get to make your announcement in the way it should have been made