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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask finances??

22 replies

wibbleywee · 03/09/2015 09:33

We are just in the process of moving house into one which is significantly larger than our current one and will cost more to run. I have a good job but my dh is the main breadwinner, after doing a few sums last night it seems that my entire wages will be spent on morgage, bills, childcare and petrol leaving us soley reliant on dh for anything else. Does this balance sound right? Im not sure whether to be concerned about such a large proportion of our finances going on living expenses, thanks

OP posts:

MillionToOneChances · 03/09/2015 09:35

If your wages will fully cover all that, leaving the main breadwinner covering only groceries and extras, you're so far ahead of the norm that you should probably brace yourself for accusations of stealth boasting. You'll be fine.

MillionToOneChances · 03/09/2015 09:36

But probably you should each pay half and have money spare.

redskybynight · 03/09/2015 09:39

Would be better to consider how much disposable income you jointly have after all essentials are paid. Then see if that amount of disposable income covers the "non-essentials" that you'd like to spend money on!!

butttons · 03/09/2015 09:39

Can you use a joint account for all "communal" expenses and each top it up with the same proportion from your own salaries so that it doesn't feel like one of you is footing the bill for everything and then sponging off the other?

PurpleBananaPie · 03/09/2015 09:39

So your DH's wages are 'spare' so to speak? What are his wages used for, just holidays/entertainment/savings etc? I think you are probably doing better than a lot of people and don't really need to be worried tbh.

AsTimeGoesBy · 03/09/2015 09:40

Really?

Turquoisetamborine · 03/09/2015 09:40

We are the same. I only work three days a week now but live in an area where housing isn't expensive so my wage covers all the mortgages (we rent a house out as well as own house) and bills. It doesn't cover food and petrol though.
We have the same amount of spending money after everything is paid for although H earns a lot more than me.

QuiteLikely5 · 03/09/2015 09:42

That sounds fine to me but depends on how much your dh brings home??

TheVeryThing · 03/09/2015 09:43

Most people spend the vast majority of their income on living expenses so I think you'll be fine.
Do you have a spreadsheet showing your current expenditure on non-essentials?
If not, then perhaps you should do one to set your mind at rest.
I'm the main earner in our family and would consider ourselves rolling in it if my Dh's income covered all the bills you've listed.

NotSoDesperateHousewife · 03/09/2015 09:46

YeOldeTrout · 03/09/2015 09:48

Er, some people spend all their money on living expenses with nothing ever left over; you sound quite well off, really.

House buying can be such a secure long term investment. If you have enough money left over to pay for a few comfort non-essentials & have a bit saved for any small disasters, it's still a good deal.

atticusclaw2 · 03/09/2015 09:50

Doesn't sound like a large proportion to me.

DH's entire salary goes on our mortgage alone.

Original poster

wibbleywee · 03/09/2015 09:55

Ok thanks everyone, have made me feel a bit better, we have just had a baby and going from a small flat to a 'normal' family home so was just stressing a bit x

OP posts:

Original poster

wibbleywee · 03/09/2015 09:56

Oh really wasn't meaning to 'stealth boast', not well enough off to do that

OP posts:

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 03/09/2015 09:58

Some of us need all wages from both parties to fund the house. Must be nice to have a whole lot spare like that.

Yabu to do a not so stealth boast

CrohnicallyAspie · 03/09/2015 10:01

My entire wages cover childcare and my car running costs for work, leaving DH's wages for mortgage, bills, food, his car, clothing, entertainment... It makes no difference financially whether I work or not.

(Yes, everything is joint expenses, but if I work then income = DH wage + my wage - childcare, if I don't work then income = DH wage so you can see that to be better off working I need to earn more than childcare costs)

Fairylea · 03/09/2015 10:04

Don't you pool finances? We have a joint household account that everything goes into and out of, we set a food budget and give ourselves an equal amount of spending money which is transferred into single bank accounts in our sole names to spend or save as we wish (it's not a huge amount!) Why not do something like that?

CrohnicallyAspie · 03/09/2015 10:04

Wait, your DH is the 'main breadwinner' not you, so what you're saying is, your DH could easily pay everything himself and have some spare PLUS your wage spare? Overall around 40% of your joint income is going on the basics? YABVVU, you should have saved enough while you were in a small flat to have bought your house outright!

Original poster

wibbleywee · 03/09/2015 10:10

Why would i waste time out of my day to go on some random forum to 'boast' to people who have no idea who I am? We are fairly new to the whole morgage/renting/bills thing so as I said genuinly interested, its not the sort of thing you generally discuss with friends. My dh earns slighty more than me, wont be back on this forum thats for sure!

OP posts:

atticusclaw2 · 03/09/2015 10:11

I doubt the fact that the DH's salary covers the mortgage means that they could have saved enough to buy a house outright. Property is very expensive. Plus their rent may well have been more than the mortgage.

This really doesn't need to turn into a flaming of the OP. Being cautious about spending is a good thing not a bad thing.

CrohnicallyAspie · 03/09/2015 10:26

It was a joke. I thought the statement was do outrageous that no one would take it seriously!

But if their rent was more than the mortgage, the OP wouldn't be worried about the costs after moving, would she?

Thurlow · 03/09/2015 10:37

That sounds right to me. We could in theory pay the mortgage and all the bills and survive (without childcare) on one of our salaries, so again in theory the other salary is the "spare".

Just don't think of it as yours and his money though

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