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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give my kids sandwiches for lunch?

45 replies

NotSoDesperateHousewife · 02/09/2015 12:16

Stupid, pathetic thread about lunch boxes. Please move on if you don't care Grin

My Facebook feed is covered in posts about back to school lunch boxes, all creative bento style, they're lovely. Every single one I've seen has negative comments from friends about how "nobody has time for that." I do. I mean, I'm not moulding cheese into Peppa Pig but I do spend 10-15 minutes using cutters for cheese/ham to make "lunchables" or making wraps or other alternatives to a sandwich and a packet of crisps. If they do have sandwiches I do sometimes cut them into shapes.

Apparently I shouldn't bother because my children will be bullied and other children and their parents will get jealous. What the fuck? I don't do this for other children or parents, I do it for mine so they don't get bored. They eat a lot more, and more healthily, when I do this.

Why does it bother some people so much?

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 02/09/2015 12:20

Why do you put it on FB?

Just make it, let the children eat it and stop the social media about it. Then all happy.

Original poster
NotSoDesperateHousewife · 02/09/2015 12:21

I don't put it on Facebook, who wants to see my kids lunch boxes? Grin I mean there are generic posts, from supermarkets, parenting sites and such, that my friends are commenting on negatively.

OP posts:
FarFromAnyRoad · 02/09/2015 12:23

Is Sandwich Angst a new thing then? I can't believe people actually fret about this stuff!!

happymummyone · 02/09/2015 12:23

Not BU to do this for your children of you want to. But it's a little bit Braggy and LOOK AT ME to post about it on Facebook.

longdiling · 02/09/2015 12:24

Yes, why are you inviting this criticism/jealousy? I highly doubt your kids will be bullied over it and I'm sure they'll speak up if they're embarrassed by their lunch box contents. Nobody would even know what you're putting in there if you weren't telling them...

Original poster
NotSoDesperateHousewife · 02/09/2015 12:25

Ahh, no I am not posting about it, I haven't said anything to anyone about it, I'm just seeing their opinions on it anyway, they don't know I make lunches that way. Sorry, it obviously wasn't clear in the OP.

OP posts:
longdiling · 02/09/2015 12:25

Cross post sorry. So this criticism isn't even aimed at you?! Erm, why are you bothered by it then

usual · 02/09/2015 12:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pancakeflipper · 02/09/2015 12:26

Sorry! I am not FB savvy and thought you were spending mornings over the breadboard making creations of dinosaur cucumbers and grape pigs then taking photos... which obviously you can do if you wish!

MrsGinnyPotter · 02/09/2015 12:26

I have no idea why people think you Are posting on Facebook... It was very clear from your op that it's others not you!

And no YANBU, I do similar when I have time :)

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/09/2015 12:26

I don't do that with sandwiches, but I do spend a lot of time cooking interesting food and presenting it nicely.
I always post in my FB food groups, because that's what they are for, and often on my own timeline too.
I show off what I do, but I don't do it to show off, nor do I expect anyone to care, or do the same.
Food is my hobby, just as others like gardening or football or whatever.
I'd love to see your food btw, you should set up a pinterest board.

Original poster
NotSoDesperateHousewife · 02/09/2015 12:27

I'm bothered because I hadn't even dreamed that it might have any negative effect on my children, but now I'm seeing talk of "jealousy" and "bullying" and I'm concerned. I don't want that to be the case for them. Really I want to hear that people couldn't give a shit in reality, so I can ignore the negativity. Grin

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 02/09/2015 12:28

We're all just jealous you've got time to do it

Original poster
NotSoDesperateHousewife · 02/09/2015 12:28

Fuck that, the only thing in shapes is stuff that can be squashed with a cookie cutter. I can't be arsed with fruit and veg sculpture.

OP posts:
m0therofdragons · 02/09/2015 12:28

No parents I know would care about this. Who puts fb posts about their dc lunch boxes? I never see the point of cutters as it wastes so much bread but crack on of that's what you want to do. Just because I wouldn't do it doesn't mean I give two hoots if you do.

Jackie0 · 02/09/2015 12:31

People like to vent at big organisations, it isn't personal at all.
I think it's more a reaction to the pressure these marketing posts put people under.

MistressMerryWeather · 02/09/2015 12:35

I find shaping sarnies very wasteful.

Eat your crusts and all that!

bigkidsdidit · 02/09/2015 12:37

Almost everyone has TIME to do it, really. I have time to do all my ironing and mop the kitchen nightly but instead I choose to watch The Fall and eat crisps Grin

I do things like this too. It's only 10 minutes, I like doing it, it makes my dc smile.

AuntyMag10 · 02/09/2015 12:39

Why do you need people here to tell you those opinions about jealousy and bullying are ridiculous? You can figure that one out surely. It's just sandwiches, who knew people would have issues about something so boring! My opinion is that it's very wasteful and unecessary, but if that's what you enjoy doing then who cares .

Fooshufflewickbannanapants · 02/09/2015 12:40

My kids all make their OWN lunch. .. life skills innit

TantrumsAndBalloons · 02/09/2015 12:41

Yes but....no one cares.

It's nice if you want to do something like that and you have 15 minutes to do it.

It's also fine if you don't have time or if you are happy just making a sandwich or whatever.

Putting pics of your kids lunch boxes on FB (not directed at you OP) is really shouting "look what a wonderful parent I am, spending all this time making this amazing lunch"
And the people saying other kids will be jealous are saying that because they don't do it and want to tell everyone "look I am an amazing parent, I am too busy to do xyz because I am doing abc"

No one cares. It's a lunch box.

Far too much time spent agonising over what is an actual non issue.

SaucyJack · 02/09/2015 12:41

Is this a stealth boast?

I don't do it. Not because I don't have time. I just don't give enough of a shiny about making lunchtime fun tbh.

Should it even be fun anyway? It's just a bloody sandwich. Eat it and move in with your life.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 02/09/2015 12:44

YANBU and I don't think other parents or DCs will be jealous. The only time DS has ever mentioned someone else's lunch was to prove a point that he thought I gave him too much food and he used a friend's lunch as a comparison. Otherwise, I have no idea what anyone else eats or what it looks like.

I don't do cut DS' packed lunch into shapes (because I doubt it would still look the same by lunchtime) but I do sometimes do it when we're eating at home eg breakfast. It always raises a smile and he always eats it.

Original poster
NotSoDesperateHousewife · 02/09/2015 12:45

If it was a stealth boast I'd have added pictures and asked if it looked ok Wink

I'm just very sensitive and insecure about how I am as a mother. I know I'm a good Mum, but I doubt it constantly. Yes, it's pathetic to seek approval on an anonymous website but I've completely lost my sense of perspective with social things recently and I need to hear other people agree that this sort of shit is utter bollocks or I'll doubt myself even more. So thank you, for reminding me that it's just a packed lunch and nobody else actually gives a shit what anyone else does, I just needed to have it affirmed.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 02/09/2015 12:45

Notso - what are your dinners like? Do you make lasagne into Tower Bridge

Poor crusts, so unloved.