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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be wary of this new club member

18 replies

XCChamps · 02/09/2015 11:13

It's a very friendly sports club and all sorts are genuinely welcome so I feel bad about being sceptical.

He's new to the area, as new members often are and very chatty and enthusiastic, which is all good but it doesn't feel good, it feels odd and intrusive.

We have a fb group and he keeps trying to set up social events outside of the club, which isnt how the group is usually used.

I realise this all sounds unhinged, he's being friendly and sociable, trying to meet new people etc, but it doesn't feel right.

He also does Herballife which I guess is wherey unease stems from - the club would be a ready source of people interest ed in health and diet

So is he planning to use the club for (slightly dodgy) financial gain, or a genuine chap trying to make friends in new town?

OP posts:

19lottie82 · 02/09/2015 11:54

I'm afraid I can't agree or disagree with you based on your post.

19lottie82 · 02/09/2015 11:55

Has he directly tried to sell you any herbalife products?

Theycallmemellowjello · 02/09/2015 11:56

I think it's fine to ask that the fb group isn't used for non-group related posts - eg social events and selling stuff. Beyond that, you can't control him or others.

SaucyJack · 02/09/2015 11:59

He's probably just lonely. Not saying I'd have any more time for him meself necessarily, but I don't think there's anything sinister in someone trying to get a life.

pluck · 02/09/2015 12:03

HerbaLife would be an immediate turn off for me and, yes, I would suspect that the off-club meetups were for that purpose. I may be wrong and prejudiced, but I'd let others find out if I were you!

RunRunAsFastishAsYouCan · 02/09/2015 12:04

He sounds like too much, too soon.
And herbal life would make me run a mile.

flanjabelle · 02/09/2015 12:08

I think I would ask him outright. along the lines of: 'the social event sounds lovely, can I just check though, it isn't to do with herbalife is it? I know there is a lot of pressure to make sales in that sort of thing, but that just wouldn't be in the spirit of the group.'

FishWithABicycle · 02/09/2015 12:13

Massive alarm bells at the Herbalife - his "out of club socials" will be thinly veiled sales-pitches and attempts to get you and other club members to become Herbalife reps too - it's not far off being a cult and he will only make any real money for himself by recruiting other members. Do not engage with him, and ask the club management to intervene if his pressure selling becomes harassment.

Rhine · 02/09/2015 12:13

He sounds a bit overly keen, it's probably harmless but it would rub me up the wrong way as well. I know that makes me sound unreasonable but in my experience there's no better way to piss people in an established group off than by throwing your weight around when you've only just met them.

sonjadog · 02/09/2015 12:23

Has he mentioned herbalife at all when arranging meetings or when being chatty? Why do you think his aim is to push it?

If he is new he is likely just being friendly. Give him a break. Even if you don't like him maybe other people in the club do. It takes a while for new people to find out with whom they belong in a club. Try not to get annoyed with him.

abigamarone · 02/09/2015 12:28

All depends on whether he's trying to push the herbalife thing. If he isn't, he's just following the sort of advice this site would give people moving into a new area (join clubs, etc)

amarmai · 02/09/2015 13:11

church groups used to be the sitting ducks of choice for dodgy con wo/men. Maybe the sport clubs have richer possibilities now.

EponasWildDaughter · 02/09/2015 13:29

I'd give it time and see. If, at one of these get togethers outside the club, he starts overtures about HL then you'll all know instantly what it's all about and can back pedal.

Surely it's easy enough to just say 'no thanks' if/when he mentions HL?

stopfaffing · 02/09/2015 13:36

OP , you are right to be wary. Multi Level Marketing companies like Herbalife recruit people to invest a sum of money to join, and then go on to recruit others.

They use Facebook to badger family, friends, acquaintances, anyone at all they know even slightly. Chances are that this guy has exhausted everyone he knows and has had the idea to join clubs to search for new recruits. That's why you have noticed that his behaviour is 'off' and not normal for members on fb. he's looking for a way to get members along to a 'social function' that is separate from your club. Beware, and keep an eye out.

Floggingmolly · 02/09/2015 13:36

But he's obviously mentioned it already... Sounds like he does have an agenda or it wouldn't have come up so soon?

KitKat1985 · 02/09/2015 13:42

I suspect he might be using the group to try to sell herbaliife stuff, BUT I'd give him the benefit of the doubt for now. He may genuinely just be lonely and trying to make new friends, in which case he might just be coming off as a bit much as he's trying too hard. At the end of day if he is a herbalife rep, it's no big deal. I'm sure everyone is capable of saying 'no thank you' to him.

stopfaffing · 02/09/2015 16:47

Kitkat he may be lonely because he has scared off all his friends badgering them to start selling herbalife .

KitKat1985 · 02/09/2015 18:09

Indeed stopfaffing . I've started not talking to someone recently who has been badgering me to buy bloody Forever Living crap constantly. Because obviously I want to spend £60 on some aloe vera crème or lotion when I'm struggling to afford groceries.

However just on a serious note, (and I'm not saying this is the case here, who as I say I suspect has Herbalife selling motives too but giving the benefit of the doubt); but my brother has aspergers and often comes on a bit strong in social situations when he's trying to make new friends (trying to make meeting up plans with people he has only been speaking to for a few minutes etc). And then it ends up back-firing and people get a bit freaked and back off and he has gone in with genuinely honest 'friend-making' intentions. Some people just aren't great at knowing the 'social norms' of friend-making.

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