To refuse to look after PIL's dog?

[chickensaresafehere]

Bit of background - PIL are nice people,but not particularly involved in our life,as in,they have 3 grandchildren but only see them on special occasions & don't make contact with them in between.We also have a child with SN(if that's relevant?),& we both work.
They only live a few miles away and are financially well off.
They have a young cocker spaniel(we have 2 very elderly dogs),this dog usually goes to stay with BIL and SIL,as they too have a young spaniel type dog.SIL is battling cancer.
FIL is adamant that he will NOT put the dog in kennels,as he thinks 'kennels ruin dogs'.So he has asked if we will have the dog for 3 weeks while they go on holiday.
I have said 'No',but I know this will cause trouble within the family.
How do I stick to my guns without causing trouble?

YANBU,no is a full sentance.

OP you really don't need to justify your decision to any of us or your FIL.Your an adult and as an adult you get to make decissions about things that will affect your life,your familys lifes.

If you think your DH will try and lay blame with you then you need to talk to him now and tell him under no circumstances is he blaming you!

He's a grown man and your partner if he's backed down or blamed you before to appease his family he needs to stop doing that right now.

YANBU, it's not a fair ask with other dogs in the mix (for the dog). It's not fair to you at all. Your DH does indeed need to back you up.

Yep, i'd be telling my DH that if he wants his parents dog looked after for 3 weeks that badly then he can stay home to do it.

If he'd been stroppy with me about saying no that is.

Youre bonkers mainsker! Why should OP take on more responsibility when she's already stretched to the limit?

The dog will take a lot of attention And time because it's high maintenance

Mrsjayy I'd go so far as to say people who humanise dogs shouldn't be dog owners as it isn't at all good for the dog!

Loving the imagery of your dog though, he sounds like he is punishing you properly:o

The reasons given were
The dog needs lots of exercise and op works and cares for SN child
The dog is used to all day company.
Op has two old quiet dogs.
SHE DOES NOT WANT TO CARE FOR SOMEONE ELSES DOG.
Good relevant reasons.
Stick to your guns OP.
(I love dogs)

I would not do it as it changes the dynamics - I looked after a dog with the best of intentions - I thought it would be no problem (nice dog that had walked happily with my dogs). However, several days after it arrived it attacked one of my dogs - I was in the room with all of them at the time (luckily) and have no idea what set it off. There was nothing obvious like food involved and no warning. I spent the rest of it's stay shuttling dogs between different rooms to ensure they didn't meet and walking it separately which doubled my workload and meant that none of the dogs were really happy.

Spaniels are really full on. Old dogs' walk needs are totally different to young spaniel types - to the point of probably needing to be separate!

We do get friends to dog sit but have dogs of the same breed/age and return the favour. 1 extra compatible dog is not much more work, one that has different needs is more than double the work.

if FIL reads this he would no doubt get a pet sitter rather than leave his beloved dog with such miserable drama queen.
I really liked the part where she said she had a child with special needs "if that's relevant". Drop that in why don't you. :D

I've reported this.

I've a young Cocker cross who is lovely, friendly, gentle etc but he is also very energetic and, although with no ill will, would probably be an absolute pain in the arse if he was left alone for several hours a day with 2 elderly dogs who didn't want to play all the time.

Just say no OP

Thanks for your support!
mainskerI am so far from a miserable drama queen,but it did make me laugh!
I suppose I asked for it posting in AIBU

YANBU

Mainsker-the op has given name credible reasons why she doesn't want to do it. She is not being mean!

If you don't want kennels for your dog-pay a company to come and sit them in your house. Either way, it's not the ops problem.

Some might accuse you of being mean.

Mainkster Are you in a particularly sensitive mood today?

I would suggest you try living a life organised around a child with SN before you say the mother is mean for not wanting to overturn their hard-earned equilibrium. They manage two elderly dogs who sound fairly sedate, but a young cocker will be hyper and distressed at being left alone and not given as much exercise or attention as usual.

Who would benefit? Not the dog, the older dogs, the family. PIL only, and they do have other options that would make everyone happy given money isn't a problem.

Reported!

For what?
This is my opinion, the OP is just whining about something that is no big deal. So yes, she is being unreasonable. And seems to me to be something of a resentful person who is making far more of this than needs be

Ergo... Miserable drama queen.

For being a miserable moo (across all the boards).

My opinion

I'm not insisting she cares for the dog, I know there are many alternatives and apart from kennels most of them would be better than being in a home with a woman who doesnt what the poor dog and I can imagine would be mean to it to spite her ma and pa in law.
I suggest you deal with your issues with your in laws.
You lot are so reactionary.
Additionally I've no clue why you think I'd care what you all think my me, I'm not the one asking for opinion.

I thought about reporting but decided to be generous and assume M is feeling particularly sensitive about in laws today.

Who is humanising dogs feelings?

Examples of that please

The op is not obliged to give FIL any reason for not wanting to mind his pet, although she has explained her reasons very clearly on this thread.

If FIL loved his dog that much he wouldn't have booked a 3 week holiday without making sure the arrangements to care for his pet were sorted out. Why would you leave your dog for 3 weeks unless you absolutely had to anyway? It's a bit selfish really.

You could potentially have the dog if they funded a decent dog walker twice a day so it is totally shattered by the end of the day? It sort of keeps everyone sweet?
Might be handier if it was still at SIL's so the walker could do their dog too but not worth suggesting.

Yanbu though. If you have pets, you have to factor this sort of thing in.

I'm not an in-law and my ma in law is a nice lady who I care for. No issues.

There is so much resentment about PIL on these boards, it's quite staggering how many woman dont like their husbands parents and children's grandparents. It is expressed in mean spiritedness and spite and egged on by others with the same problem.
It's something to be worked on and improved, not reinforced by other emotionally challenged harpies.

If you have no credible argument you report, oh how challenging!
????