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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5year old in a pram

129 replies

Jo4040 · 31/08/2015 19:30

Please bear with me, its not totally how it sounds...

Since my DS was born me and my partner have always put him in his pram just before bed time and gone on a very long walk. He would then fall asleep. When we got back we would put him into bed.

We didn't do this to get our DS of to sleep. We did this for exercise.

When my DS2 was born a few months ago, DS1 was too big for a pram, so we bought a step however he quickly outgrew this. Therefore the evening walks dwindled out as he couldn't keep up with the walks.

Now that the long walks are drawing in, with me and my OH be U to buy a double pram. We have seen a cheap one in a charity shop. It has a seat at the front and one at the back. You would not be able to see DS (4,nearly 5) sat in the back, drifting of to sleep under a blanket.

He is happy to do this as on holiday when he was tired a couple of nights he climbed in the pram on the way home and we carried baby back to the apartment.

We read him stories all the time and the bedtime routine would still happen...bath, teeth, pjs, but he would just climb into the pram.

Me and OH can't afford the gym membership but really want to do abit of exercise and its nice to go out on a walk at night and have a chat together. Also I rely on relatives for childcare in the day so can't really ask anyone to have kids at night whilst we go out for our hourly walk.

OP posts:
anothernumberone · 01/09/2015 22:24

I think the walks sound great. Mine shower with us in the morning so no bedtime baths and then go to bed for 8. The youngest is nearly 4 but the 7 o'clock thing would still not be an issue. I agree on the scooter, it makes your son an active participant in the trips. Also you can get steps for the buggy that he can sit on rather that stand which might be an option too in case he gets tired.

Oswin · 01/09/2015 22:38

Oh it sounds lovely and as he gets older he can walk along or ride a bike.
We British are odd with our rigid ideas of bedtimes and routine.
Just because the traditional bath book and bed is something you do doesn't mean that everyone else should do it your way.

Eva50 · 01/09/2015 22:44

I think it's fine. Just do it if you are all happy.

Original poster
Jo4040 · 02/09/2015 07:17

My DS gets plenty of exercise in the day. He go's to the park to play football with his friends, he plays under 5's football, he god on bike rides with his dad. We take him swimming once a week, also once a week he has a half a hour swimming lesson. He is a regular at the play centres where we live and his Dad takes him amature rock climbing and caving. Exercise for him isnt a issue at that time of night.

People are concerned that his friends will laugh at him... Well...6/7 at night... It's dark...and maybe his friends will be hopefully...getting ready for bed Confused

The pram I have seen has a back seat so you wouldn't see him anyway sat in it.

Like I said. I'm going to try the scooter idea. He has a bike but like someone said he just tends to zoom off and me and OH can't keep up and when it's dark its no good. (Yes we have taught him about stopping at crossing etc)

I'm also going to have a look into getting one of the bugvy boards with a seat for when he's had enough.

OP posts:
LoveChickens · 02/09/2015 09:32

You sound like a really fun family actually, good on you Flowers

MrsHenryCrawford · 02/09/2015 10:01

What miscellaneous said. Some very rigid ideas here regarding bedtimes and suitable family activities

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/09/2015 10:07

I'd get a very cheap buggy, my DS grew out of his at 3.5! Shock

Isetan · 02/09/2015 12:58

Your walks do sound lovely but your son is now older and routines change when they get older, take earlier walks or do them on the weekend.

I'm more Hmm at a TV in the bedroom of a 5 year old.

Isetan · 02/09/2015 13:01

How often does he fall asleep in a pushchair or in front of the TV?

Thurlow · 02/09/2015 13:11

People absolutely adore to judge about older kids in pushchairs Hmm

Not all kids can scoot or ride a bike really well, or even enjoy it. Not all kids can walk without stopping to look at every twig and collect every stone.

It's late in the evening, he's probably tired, he might not be up for walking at the same pace as you. At his age he can get in and out of the pushchair as he wants, he's got a choice.

A walk every few days sounds lovely. Get a double, sod it.

Just had to buy a new pushchair for nearly 4yo thanks to needing to walk 20 minutes to nursery first thing in the morning, loving that unexpected expense

DixieNormas · 02/09/2015 13:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MagicMojito · 02/09/2015 13:57

Why do people keep going on about the TV in bedroom?? OP has no issue with the TV, she hasn't asked for advice about the tv, the TV was a brief passing comment. If you don't like it, don't allow it for your own kid Hmm

Fwiw, I agree that your DS is probably a bit old for the buggy idea but you have been given some very helpful advice on how to get around that and still get to have your lovely nightly walks. I love the trailer with fairy lights idea, I very well may steal that one! in reality I probably won't as I'm far to cold and tired by that time of night

LoveChickens · 02/09/2015 14:01

Yeah, what's wrong with a TV in the bedroom? Am I missing something?

Original poster
Jo4040 · 02/09/2015 14:06

Thurlow. Twigs and stones Grin

I once bought my DS this wicker basket with a handle. We went stone/leaf, twig collecting however he only wanted very small stones. When we got home all his leaves and twigs etc were still there...but the stones had fallen out of the wicker. It was like something from 'Hansel and Gretel'.

I'm certainly no Earth mother that way haha.

OP posts:
Thurlow · 02/09/2015 14:10

Grin I should try that! I had a similar thread recently about buying a new pushchair for DD and it was reassuring how many other parents with 3-5yos who are hugely active all day but trying to get them to actually walk somewhere, at a reasonable pace, to meet a deadline would be like getting blood out of a stone.

Original poster
Jo4040 · 02/09/2015 14:14

Haha Grin

OP posts:
Mrsfrumble · 02/09/2015 16:17

I always find myself weighing in on threads about old children in pushchairs too. Some posters are so hung up on hard and fast rules about when a child "should" be "out" of a pushchair that they refuse to accept that there are the occasional circumstances when bunging a 4 YO in a buggy means that a family can do something or get somewhere they otherwise couldn't.

It seems so perverse to me that some think the OP's family should miss out on this lovely, healthy, bonding activity because of some arbitrary, socially acceptable cut-off for pushchair use. The ocassional ride for an otherwise active 4/5 is NOT the same as forcing them into it every time you leave the house and refusing to let them walk!

Thurlow · 02/09/2015 16:21

Exactly, MrsFrumble. I remember some of the responses on my thread (20 min fast adult walk to nursery, me needing to catch an exact train etc) were tying themselves into knots to come up with some other suggestion than just using a pushchair. My particular favourite was someone who suggested sitting DD in a seat on the back of a bike and then pushing the bike... Confused

The thing is, older kids know perfectly well they can just hop in and out of the pushchair when they want to. The OP's DS might turn out to be happy walking 90% of the time. But it's catch-22, when they are bigger and heavier you can't always just pick them up and carry them when they are tired.

Mrsfrumble · 02/09/2015 16:34

I remember your thread Thurlow, and the push-a-bike response. Bizarre!

As I always say when I post on these threads; I use my double pushchair like a car. I don't drive, so any in circumstances where someone who did drive would (distance of more than a couple of miles, in a hurry, crap weather etc.) I let the DCs (4 & 2) ride if they want to. Otherwise they walk or the 4 YO rides his bike.

No one has yet been able to explain why riding in a car doesn't make children fat and idle, but occassionally riding in a pushchair does...

ThereIsIron · 02/09/2015 16:34

We do this sometimes, but 5 yo just goes on his bike so he can keep up.

Original poster
Jo4040 · 02/09/2015 19:13

The problem with the bike is this...hes refusing point blank at the moment to take his stableizers off. (He jeeos saying he will have a go when he is a man). With the stableizers on, the bike is a pain to keep going up and down curbs, round corners etc. That's why a scooter might be note appropriate.

Also these walks are in residential areas because to walk to the nearest park etc is a fair walk, plus the bike won't fit into our small cat if we did drive to the park.

Thurlow, that reply to pushing a bike is hilarious!

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 02/09/2015 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThereIsIron · 04/09/2015 01:08

Take the stabilisers off. At 5 it should take about an hour to teach him to ride without them. And get a bigger cat so you can go to the park Grin

XCChamps · 04/09/2015 17:12

"At 5 it should take about an hour to teach him to ride without them"

Really, Really? Where does the "should" come from? I'm sure it's possible for some children, but it's not my experience at all.

A balance bike is a better option IME (or a regular bike with stabilisers and pedals removed and the seat lowered)

TyrionLannistersShadow · 04/09/2015 17:28

I agree about getting him a scooter, solves all your problems. When I was reading your posts what came across quite strongly was your wanting to keep him little which is very understandable, I think we all feel like that sometimes :). But it's time to let him grow up a bit, at nearly 5 he doesn't need a buggy , I think you know that. I think you like the idea of snuggling your little ones up in a blanket and going out walking as a family which is sweet but not applicable anymore for your older child. You will still enjoy those walks in fact probably more without pushing a heavy double buggy lol.
I also thing the whole pushing to sleep idea isn't great, they need to learn to self settle without being pushed or watching TV, for their own sake.