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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5year old in a pram

129 replies

Jo4040 · 31/08/2015 19:30

Please bear with me, its not totally how it sounds...

Since my DS was born me and my partner have always put him in his pram just before bed time and gone on a very long walk. He would then fall asleep. When we got back we would put him into bed.

We didn't do this to get our DS of to sleep. We did this for exercise.

When my DS2 was born a few months ago, DS1 was too big for a pram, so we bought a step however he quickly outgrew this. Therefore the evening walks dwindled out as he couldn't keep up with the walks.

Now that the long walks are drawing in, with me and my OH be U to buy a double pram. We have seen a cheap one in a charity shop. It has a seat at the front and one at the back. You would not be able to see DS (4,nearly 5) sat in the back, drifting of to sleep under a blanket.

He is happy to do this as on holiday when he was tired a couple of nights he climbed in the pram on the way home and we carried baby back to the apartment.

We read him stories all the time and the bedtime routine would still happen...bath, teeth, pjs, but he would just climb into the pram.

Me and OH can't afford the gym membership but really want to do abit of exercise and its nice to go out on a walk at night and have a chat together. Also I rely on relatives for childcare in the day so can't really ask anyone to have kids at night whilst we go out for our hourly walk.

OP posts:
CheekyMaleekey · 31/08/2015 20:02

I don't like the sound of him during off to sleep while he's watching the telly. He has one in his bedroom?

KanyeWestPresidentForLife · 31/08/2015 20:06

I think you're going to have to do it a little earlier and a little slower so he can walk. He's starting school next week presumably. If the other kids see him he'll get crucified.

poocatcherchampion · 31/08/2015 20:07

I think the walk sounds lovely but the sleep association needs knocking on the head asap. Him using it for a stretch and exercise is a good move however you might want to make it a bit earlier.

I think using telly to get him to sleep otherwise is unacceptable.

WombatStewForTea · 31/08/2015 20:13

Can he fall asleep without the Tv on?

Original poster
Jo4040 · 31/08/2015 20:23

Course he can, especially when he's really tired. We hav'nt got a problem with him going to bed. Hes a very energetic boy in the day (very) infact...I'm the poster who posted about the brainwashing on another thread. The poster who tells her child

"I love it when you shared your bike with the boy on the park today" " i wonder what we are going to do tomorrow, what ever it is I can't wait "

I do this so when he's drifting of to sleep hes thinking and dreaming hopefully about positive things.

When we used to go on walks when he was younger we didn't go EVERY night, just about four out of seven. Tonight for example, he watched the TV, then shouted he couldnt find the remote, so I came up, we turned it off and I cuddled him, and told him our 'Imagine you are on,in,at etc' story..When we had finished our story I said night and he turned over and he reminded me to check on him 'lots'

His friends won't see, its hopefully going to be dark, and we go on a route where noone we know will see us really.

OP posts:
DriverSurpriseMe · 31/08/2015 20:26

Can't you do the walk earlier? Seven is a bit late, especially if that's his bedtime.

Do you do this when it's cold and dark too? Now I am super lazy, but I couldn't imagine having a daily stroll when it's dark and freezing. I much prefer being tucked up on my sofa...

hibbleddible · 31/08/2015 20:27

I would get him a scooter with one of those strings in case he gets tired (I think they are called twist n pull). He is far too old to be in a pram at his age, and its not a habit you want to get him in to.

yummumto3girls · 31/08/2015 20:30

Summer months it sounds lovely, but go earlier so he can ride bike, scooter etc. when he is at school, winter, they both need to be in bed. Why don't you take it in turns to go out/ gym and other puts kids to bed, you can catch up later when they are both asleep!

Original poster
Jo4040 · 31/08/2015 20:32

We could do it earlier I suppose. I absolutely used to live putting our hats and scarves on, but coat and getting all wrapped up with him under a big snuggly blanket.

Around Christmas time is the best, walking past peoples houses and looking at them all warm with their Xmas decs up!

We then used to come back and having a nice warm bru, actually sometimes I'd be that hot because we had walked that far and fast... I'd gulp down a glass if something cold first!!

OP posts:
Johnny5isAlive · 31/08/2015 20:33

I agree - you need an alternative. You need to take turns walking (without DC) so they can be put to bed whilst the the other DP is walking

SouthWestmom · 31/08/2015 20:33

Oh op I love the idea of an evening family stroll, what a lovely 'thing' and how nice that your DP is on board (mine isn't great at thinking of or joining family things) - Id ditch the buggy idea though and maybe get a trailer or a scooter for when he's tired - maybe a headlamp torch for him?

MissDuke · 31/08/2015 20:34

I also would want him to ride a bike. My 5 year old cycled for 15 miles yesterday with me, I bet he would manage fine for an hour. I would def go earlier though. I also wouldn't be keen on him being reliant on a walk or tv to fall asleep to be honest, but totally your choice! Couldn't you take turns on going for a walk then he can have his usual bedtime routine and you still get exercise on alternate evenings?

Chippednailvarnish · 31/08/2015 20:35

Your DS doesn't seem to be a priority, why not get him a proper bedtime routine, without walks or TV?
There is also no reason why you don't go out one night and your partner the next.

DixieNormas · 31/08/2015 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Jo4040 · 31/08/2015 20:39

MissDuke, certainly, these are all options. That's why I wrote into MN! Hehe.

My OH loves it more then me. He bought us all thermals last year and a special shield for the pram so DS wasn't cold. Before DS used to fall to sleep he used to love the journey of being sat up and watching. Around Bonfire night was great in the evening. Listening to all the fireworks.

Me and OH love to just walk and chat too, I like the idea if the scooter/bike, going to give that a try first.

OP posts:
DixieNormas · 31/08/2015 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lurkedforever1 · 31/08/2015 20:42

Just go out less close to bedtime and let him walk. It will also make the bedtime routine easier, kids who do plenty of exercise don't generally need tv or talking to sleep by 5yrs old.

Original poster
Jo4040 · 31/08/2015 20:46

We love having our chat at night. We talk about what he liked best that day, we talk about tomorrow, he asks me little questions and we have a cuddle. Hes not five until December. Hes still tiny to me.

OP posts:
Girlfriend36 · 31/08/2015 20:49

I think yabu, I think you probably need to rethink it as 6-7pm really should be bath, stories and bed imo with young children.

You can find ways to exercise alongside the kids during the day surely?

PrincessHairyMclary · 31/08/2015 20:50

If you really want to Get a wagon like people use at festivals (the green garden ones are bigger), add a bench cushion / foam for a base, you can make it cosy with a duvet tucked around him and a pillow/hot water bottle, you can even rig up a cover and add fairy lights on the inside as he gets older he could take a torch and book et . Very easy to pull on the pavement (we use ours to carry the stuff to the beach when not at festivals) and both LO could probably get inside and much cheaper than a double buggy.

Chippednailvarnish · 31/08/2015 20:51

I'm not really sure why your posting OP. People have given you a range of opinions, but all you seem to respond with is justification as to why you think you are right and sugary descriptions of your walks.

Most of us have actually ventured out around 7pm near Christmas and fireworks night...

Doublebubblebubble · 31/08/2015 20:51

Sorry but I also think yabu. Unless of course a child has special needs there is absolutely no need for a child of that age to be in a buggy. He should be starting to getting himself off to sleep.

Could you not do your walks in the morning, when he would probably be less tired and more likely to keep up? Or just stop the routine altogether??. I am presuming he is starting school this year. If his little (potential) friends see him in a baby buggy... Well that would be a whole new kettle of fish for you.

Really think that his (of course this is mho) routine should be bath, book and bed and have your walk in the morning (or when he starts school)...

5madthings · 31/08/2015 20:52

I don't see the problem, a bike trailer thar converts to a pushchair with a wheel at the front may be better.

The op has said her son can fall asleep on his own, they don't have to do this to get him to sleep. They just enjoy it, evening strolls can be lovely, esp all wrapped up when there is a bit of a frost and chill in the air.

Walking is good exercise and as the boy gets bigger he will walk as wrll, letting him scooter is a good idea.

It's nice that you do this together as a family op, 7pm is not too late and you are setting a good example to your boy that it's fun, enjoyable to be exercising.

As he is five does he like piggy backs? Can he go on your dhs shoulders if he gets tired? that and a scooter might work for the in between stage until he cam cope with the longer walk.

SaucyJack · 31/08/2015 20:52

But he isn't a tiny baby, dude.

He's a person- not a piece of exercise equipment.

It is lovely when they're small babies, and you can cart them around with you without disrupting your evenings/social life too much.

But those days are gone. Go for a walk at a sensible time, and then put the poor kid to sleep in his bed.

(With it without the telly- I don't care on that one Wink )

NoDramaForTheLlama · 31/08/2015 20:53

The winter walks sound lovely. I love going out all wrapped up and smelling bonfires or looking at Christmas lights. I would get him to scoot/cycle along with you and maybe head off half an hour earlier if possible and then that way you can avoid the pram. I had a Phil and Teds and my eldest last went in it a month shy of her 5th birthday and it was a killer to push with DS in too!!

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