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Original poster

Is this even normal behaviour? Warning - toilet.

80 replies

lavendarhillslob · 31/08/2015 18:41

My DH has just admitted that he wipes his bottom standing up.

I've never heard anything like it.

Is this even beyond weird????

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 31/08/2015 19:19

I lean slightly to one side when wiping.

MaidOfStars · 31/08/2015 19:21

Do the standers also stand to wipe after a pee. Do you wipe front to back from a forward position i.e. push the paper backwards?

Original poster
lavendarhillslob · 31/08/2015 19:22

Sitting down, obvs.

Standing up never ever even ever occurred to me.

OP posts:
MaidOfStars · 31/08/2015 19:25

Do the standers hold their bum cheeks apart? Doesn't the act of reaching behind you cause your hips to push forward a little and your bum cheeks to shut more firmly? Aren't you just smearing poo around?

TheCatsMother99 · 31/08/2015 19:26

Until now, it had never occurred to me that people would wipe standing up.... That's beyond weird to me.

whattodohatethis · 31/08/2015 19:27

Don't your bum cheeks go together when you stand?
Do you have to them separate the cheeks to wipe? :o

coveredinsnot · 31/08/2015 19:31

Even more weird than this is my ex dp who used to do his actual shits hovering above the loo, never did the cheek and seat meet. No idea why! He did go to boarding school so maybe all the pissy toilet seats had something to do with it? Who knows....

As for wiping standing I can't imagine how you'd get up around your bum hole enough to get it properly clean. When sitting your bum cheeks are held apart by the loo giving full and unfettered access to the anal area. Just lean forwards and slightly to one side and hey presto!

DontOpenDeadInside · 31/08/2015 19:32

I've read a few of these types of threads, yet I've never seen a standee explain how they wipe?
probably cross posted with one now

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 31/08/2015 19:33

To the PP who's ex peed kneeling down, DH does this and I thought it was pretty weird but he explained he likes to minimise the chance of stray wee which can only be a good thing surely Grin?

XCChamps · 31/08/2015 19:33

I sit but can see how either way could be normal/possible.

"Fwiw, I stand, but have seen my bff wipe enough times (hundreds, when gossiping on the loo, in fact) to know that there is a second way." This however, cannot possibly be normal Shock Grin

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 31/08/2015 19:34

Aargh! Whose not who's.

DontOpenDeadInside · 31/08/2015 19:34

Oh and one night i sleepily wandered to the loo to find dp kneeling having a pee. He always locks the door normally so I'd never seen him pee before. As hes 6'2 i suppose it makes sense so there is not as much splashage.

XCChamps · 31/08/2015 19:35

I wish I'd thought to teach DSs to kneel Grin

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 31/08/2015 19:36

I have to stand (or hover), as our toilet seat is broken. Any attempt to seat-wipe results in toilet surfing. I hate it, certainly the 'wrong' way of doing it Angry.

Osolea · 31/08/2015 19:39

Why would you stand when sitting provides the perfect arse wiping position? I don't get it.

Topseyt · 31/08/2015 19:40

Sitting is the only way. Wink Grin

coveredinsnot · 31/08/2015 19:44

Why would men kneel when they could just sit?! Unless their junk is so massive it would hit the water....?

girlandboy · 31/08/2015 19:45

When my DC's were toddlers and being toilet trained I would wipe their little bums while they were still sitting. It would never occur to me to get them off the toilet, turn them around and start to tackle a clean up whilst they stood! Would I have had to crouch behind them, part their cheeks and then wipe?
So much easier to clean them up whilst they are still perched on the loo (cheeks apart, access easy).
Same with me Smile

And what's with the comments about the toilet seat lid being in the way of a sitting down wipe? How far back do some people sit? I reckon my bum is only half way back on the loo seat. i'm not sitting on an armchair!

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 31/08/2015 19:46

My husband does too and I was baffled when I found out as well. Must of been the way they were taught.

gamerchick · 31/08/2015 19:46

It's the reaching between the legs that baffles me. How can you wipe properly doing it like that?

XCChamps · 31/08/2015 19:50

You don't reach between the legs, you go round the back, whether you wipe sitting or standing.....don't you?

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 31/08/2015 19:52

You don't reach between your legs Grin you slightly tilt to side and wipe front to back just like you when you pee? How are women that stand wipe when they pee??

gamerchick · 31/08/2015 19:57

Some people reach between their legs and push the paper up their arse crack. It still boggles my head and I tried it in the name of science.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 31/08/2015 20:06

In the interests of furthering knowledge:

Wee: quick wipe seated, finish off off in a squat/hover/stand. Hand in from the front, wipe perineum -> front

Poo as wee except hand in from rear, wipe perineum->back

I have tried other variations, as described on Mumsnet but they all feel weird/wrong.

HTH.

EponasWildDaughter · 31/08/2015 20:18

I'm a sit down wipe from the front'er.

You just part your legs, reach under and wipe.

Didn't realise there was anyone doing anything different tbh Confused