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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be absolutely sick of people bragging on social media

396 replies

SeagullSal · 31/08/2015 17:29

It's reached ridiculous proportions, people 'checking in' at posh hotels, sipping glasses of Champers in spas and even documenting new car purchases (that seems to be the new thing with a hands over eyes emoticon denoting the 'worrying' amount of money that they'll soon be spending.)

I am happy for people having nice times - but it's the ones who document every single sneeze of good fortune that I'm absolutely sick of.

Do these people not realise that a lot of people have nice times in nice places but just don't wish to ram it down other people's throats in a continuous stream?

Time I took a break I think. And breathe.

OP posts:
SeagullSal · 01/09/2015 11:35

It's rude to brag Ihavebrillo.

Lots of people are satisfied with the experience of doing those things alone.

Why do you want your 'friends' to know about it?

I think it's very wishful thinking that they'll feel happy for your Michelin star bragging.

OP posts:
SeagullSal · 01/09/2015 11:37

It's people's tolerance of that crassness that's disappearing and I think it's a shame.

It's good to be a humble person.

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 01/09/2015 11:39

I don't do it to brag, I do it because I am pleased with these things, and yes, I do believe my genuine friends are happy for me.
Not all aspects of my life are great, most aren't, they know about these too and support me.

LynetteScavo · 01/09/2015 11:42

Just me who likes to know who's been where then.

One friend is constantly going on lovely holidays, to The Ivy etc. I love knowing what she's been up to. Why would I be jealous just because I can't afford the same. It would be like her being jealous of me because I have more children, or a better looking DH. Wink. Beats being invited round for slides shows like my parents friends used to do when I was young.

BoomBoomsCousin · 01/09/2015 11:45

If your friends aren't pleased for you when they hear of good things happening to you, you need different friends. And if you aren't pleased for your friends when they have good things happen to them, they need a different friend.

ssd · 01/09/2015 11:50

facebook just seems to be for peole who like talking about themselves

SeagullSal · 01/09/2015 11:51

Lots of good things happen to me, lots.

Do I need to brag about it? No.

WHY do your friends needs to share in this 'happiness' - particularly when it's buying a car?

Being proud of something your child has achieved maybe yes. But a trip to the Audi garage? That's what your asking friends to share in?

Fucking pathetic.

OP posts:
JugglingFromHereToThere · 01/09/2015 11:51

Generally I do agree with you OP
But I think if people have been going through a hard time it can be nice to share some of the lighter, cheerful stuff
"Look I went here with my friends"
Even "look at this nice meal I had" My DNeice does this
I think it's very forgiveable especially in the young Smile
Basically it can be lovely to see some pics and helps people keep in touch

AmberNectarine · 01/09/2015 11:53

Have to disagree re hashtags - they do work as a collation function on FB. A friend got married recently and they had a wedding hashtag. I was able to click on it and see everyone's photos. A good idea!

AmberNectarine · 01/09/2015 11:54

I bought a Chanel bag this weekend - I think I'm going to FB post it now.

#notreally

Capucine00 · 01/09/2015 11:55

No it is not. I just looked at my feed and these are the stories and posts-

Getting ready for the new term.
Jeremy Corbyn.
The Katrina commemorations- several friends live there and keep me posted on the city and its rejuvenation.
Legends of the region I live in. Folk tales etc and peoples writing about them.
The new Prada collection.
Holidays to Scandinavia, Italy and the New Forest- genuinely interesting pics of lovely scenery and my hard working mates enjoying themselves on holidays they've saved hard for.
Chrissie Hynde- discussion about her comments.
A request for old pallets.
Someone has bought their daughters school shoes for her first term- i think this is a touching milestone.
A passed driving test.
A fox attack on urban chickens.

Yep, lots of narcissism and folks talking 'bout themselves there Hmm. I do think some of you sound very bitter.

Awholelottanosy · 01/09/2015 11:56

It can be hard seeing what a great time people are having if you are feeling a bit shit about your own life.I have just un followed 2 people, including the love of my life, my boyfriend from Uni ( many years ago )who was posting about his bloody wedding day! I wanted to post "Nooooo, it should have been me..." ( obvs I didn't ) :)Sad

SeagullSal · 01/09/2015 11:57

Why bitter when many of us have the same stuff and go to the same places?

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GasLIghtShining · 01/09/2015 11:57

I tend not to put my trips on FB for the reason I don't want to let people know my house is empty to worse to advertise that me and DH are having a weekend away on our own so advertising that the DC are home alone (as in parties not anyone reporting to SS)

Capucine00 · 01/09/2015 11:59

Bitter because you have to ascribe ugly motivations for these posts.

Change your friends if they are so displeasing to you on social media. Or maybe the issue lies with you? It's not hard to have a feed that is interesting and pertinent to you.

rogueantimatter · 01/09/2015 11:59

This has inspired me to go and customise my news feed now. I'm terrified of getting it wrong though and ending up with fb friends knowing that I've 'unfollowed' them or something.

wibble

(FB friend recently posted that she was proud of herself for passing a training course with distinction in all the papers. I admit it's not nice of me but it had the effect of making me think less of her for such blatant bragging). There's no two ways about it; it's bragging.

For me the irritation is with posters who post too much too often.

Capucine00 · 01/09/2015 11:59

I post my trips when I am home for that reason and always have done.

RhodaBull · 01/09/2015 11:59

Absolutely bizarrely narcissistic to think that people are a)interested in what you had for dinner somewhere and then b) pleased for you. Astonishing.

I can see the value of FaceBook for getting groups together, sharing photos of an event or family reunion etc. But posting every last detail of your life, photoshopped, cherry picked for maximum OK! Magazine effect... madness.

I don't do FB, but have seen other people's. One person I know conducted conversations with her partner on there, such as, "What shall we have for dinner?" and listing options, and "Look at our gorgeous dd" and then he'd reply. Nuts.

Capucine00 · 01/09/2015 12:03

Thing is Rogue I wouldn't have seen it as bragging. I think women in particular are socialised to take up less space and therefore telling people about achievements that are hard won is seen as bragging when it should not be. It's not bragging to say you are proud of yourself. We might find it hard to do it but for every person who sees it as so, there are others who do not. And it is a cultural thing too. My American friends are much more comfortable with success and praising than some British people appear to be. We seem more comfortable when we are commiserating.

I am happy for my friends when they succeed and I want them to feel able to tell us all. Facebook is a darn sight swifter than trying to work it into many conversations and that wouldn't be bragging either.

Capucine00 · 01/09/2015 12:07

I think ultimately, I'd have to ask why so many of you are 'friends' with people you don't seem to like?

Maybe change that.

SeagullSal · 01/09/2015 12:11

Of course it's bragging.

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 01/09/2015 12:17

If it's something that everyone in your circle has/does - how would it be boastful? Where would the pride come from?

MadeMan · 01/09/2015 12:23

"I block the worst offenders, with their "lovely days out with their lovely families" or "lovely night with lovely friends" Just. fuck, off!!! "

You could write that last part in their comments section underneath. Smile

juneau · 01/09/2015 12:31

I completely agree with you OP, though I agree that its usually the most insecure people who do it. If I'm having an 'amazing time' I can promise you I'm far too busy enjoying it to even think of posting pictures on FB or anywhere else.

Raiyia · 01/09/2015 12:55

"I block the worst offenders, with their "lovely days out with their lovely families"...

Lots of good things happen to me, lots. Do I need to brag about it? No. WHY do your friends needs to share in this 'happiness'...

So just this morning a FB friend has said she is going on a day out with her DD today which she's been directly inspired to do by a trip I took with my DSs yesterday and FBed about our very lovely day last night - yes with lots of photos! (she tagged me with thanks in the post for the idea). Last week I went to a place another FB friend FBed about last week - had not heard or thought about it before she did. Went to a great restaurant in the area last month I never even knew was there until my friend's FB post a couple of months ago etc etc.

This is how my friends and I use FB. We go somewhere and have a great time. We FB about it afterwards. We're pleased for each other that we are showing happy things because we're you know, friends. We like to see each other happy. We use the posts as inspiration for our own happy times and then we're happy again for each other because the happiness has been actually shared. And even when I can't directly use the ideas, like friends in other countries are having happy times, or even doing exciting things like buying new cars, I'm happy for them too.

This is how friendship works isn't it? You share happy times and ideas and get more happiness from it?

Or yes you can instead sit there getting silently outraged by and loudly tutting over (imagined) 'bragging'.

I know which sounds like more fun though.