To ask how I am supposed to make my presence felt with people?

[Stillspiky]

I think I am one of those people who is always 'there'.

I only get invited to things to make up numbers and then left out for other things.

At work I am on the outside of things.

What is the best way to make your presence felt in groups?

I'm not sure but I'd love to know. I'm always an oversight .

Have a look at patsy rodenburg on YouTube- it's quite interesting

If it is any consolation I am usually invited Iin the lovable buffoon role. Dh is is a well known local dh and 'cool' but I am the persons that breaks the ice, gets strangers talking and dances with someone's grandad.

Frustrating, because I would rather debate politics with the hippy in the back smoking weed, but I guess it's about finding your niche.

What's your posture like?

If you stand straight with your head up that not only makes you feel more present and confident, it puts you on the map. People sit up and take notice.

If you stand like a mouse, all curled in, that also sends a message - which people pick up subliminally. It sends a 'don't mind me, I'm nobody' message.

I wouldn't bother.

I know two, no several, couples where one is 'the life and soul' of the party, while the other is quietly in the background.

I much prefer the one in the background any day of the week...

Not many seem to prefer people in the background though unfortunately :(

When you don't want to be invited, don't want to be part of the group and really do want to be left alone, that's how. It's always worked for me anyway .

On a serious note, I went to university and then did my PhD extremely early, and when I was starting out in my career I was struggling to get taken seriously because of my age, my mentor told me that the easiest way to make people adore you is to treat every person you speak to at a party/event/in the office as if they are the most interesting person in the world. Act fascinated by what they say. Its superficial, manipulative and very fake but it always worked like a charm for me, but then I wasn't looking to make lasting friendships, just to network and get funding for my research.

That and a very striking but clasically elegant dress in an understated colour (black, grey, sapphire, deep green, pastels etc) and some unusual, but elegant jewellery. Meh, the shallowness of it makes me shudder.

I really think I need to come to some sort of place in my mind where I just don't give a shit.

It does help, and the happier and stronger you are in yourself, the better for you anyway.

Yes, I agree with previous posts. You need to not care, but you also could do to appear busy and happy.

Once you are 'busy' with your own 'interesting' life and don't care whether you are included or not the invites should come.